Sneering at fat people.

If we're playing top trumps here, the cheque used to pay the Registrar for our marriage certificate bounced!

Unfortunately, that didn't mean the marriage was invalid.
Used to happen about once a month at least at Motherwell Registrar's Office. High drama every time because the section manager was an utter fucking rocket, I have never met someone in authority with less social, financial, or management ability than her in my life. Not even at 7sigs.
 
I remember moving in to my first MQ - Napier Square in North Camp, Aldershot - with wife #1. Everything supplied, even the salt and pepper pots. Fast-forward five years and I helped her move in to her new council flat as we had divorced - amicably (ish). The people that moved out had taken everything including lights bulbs, curtain tracks etc. She was upset. I laughed my cock off.


Sow and ye shall reap...

Of course she got the last laugh, sold the council flat - thanks Maggie - and made a tidy sum!

Still she wasn't a bad lass and gave me a brilliant son.
 
I remember moving ionto my 1st MQ too, all MOD furniture and stuff, fast forward 7 years, I remeber moving out of my last MQ leaving behind 7 years of hard grafting kitting out a house apart from carpets and curtains as she had the lot in the divorce, apart from the beer fridge and the stereo!
First house we had was furnished from the local saleroom.
Eight years later as I moved out newly single it had a lovely new concrete patio...
 
On the plane over to Lanzarote, we were subjected to the stewardess on the speakers " John has something to ask Tracey, what is it then John? " John then gets down on one knee, in front of the whole aircraft and proposes
I didn't turn round , but Doris did

"She said yes folks !" Lots of clapping stuff, maybe I can get back to sleep now

get to the hotel , checked in, sitting in the bar waiting for the nights act to come on saw this couple sitting at the side both on their on their mobiles , not talking to anyone , totally immersed in the interwebnetthingy
Doris says "that's going to be a short marriage, those two ,the ones on the plane"

Is that them, (I honestly took no notice during the flight)
"Well she wasn't gong to say no, was she, all 28 stone of her. probably just after the free shite champagne the crew gave them"

So I am now a fatist bastards , as well as a racist,homophob


I am sure she and methadone Mick will live happily ever after, (but not for long)
 
Last edited:

Bogie_Bear

War Hero
On the plane over to Lanzarote, we were subjected to the stewardess on the speakers " John has something to ask Tracey, what is it then John? " John then gets down on one knee, in front of the whole aircraft and proposes
I didn't turn round , but Doris did

"She said yes folks !" Lots of clapping stuff, maybe I can get back to sleep now

get to the hotel , checked in, sitting in the bar waiting for the nights act to come on saw this couple sitting at the side both on their on their mobiles , not talking to anyone , totally immersed in the interwebnetthingy
Doris says "that's going to be a short marriage, those two ,the ones on the plane"

Is that them, (I honestly took no notice during the flight)
"Well she wasn't gong to say no, was she, all 28 stone of her. probably just after the free shite champagne the crew gave them"

So I am now a fatist bastards , as well as a racist,homophob


I am sure she and methadone Mick will live happily ever after, (but not for long)
Mate, if YOU'RE on the EasyJet to Lanzarote I'd seriously lay off criticising the other chav scum.
 

Bogie_Bear

War Hero
Sounds like me, most of the time. No wonder I fucked up my health pretty seriously over the last 2 yrs, as I recently found out. The doc clearly said I am/was drinking a lot, which by itself didn't cause all the trouble, but that combined with lack of proper food and not eating in general is the whammy. I lost 10 to 15 kilos in one freaking year.

There's a reason I don't want to have kids, I am not mature/ready/capable enough. When (if) I will be one day, and if I feel like it, will try and adopt one. No reason to add another soul to this overcrowded planet, plenty of kids out there who need help.

/end of mature discussion, it's a Saturday after all!
Mate, I wouldn't even advise going down that route unless you want EVERY aspect of your life analysed and critiqued. Our next door neighbours went down the foster route and some cheeky bint of a social worker knocked on our door out of the blue asking for personal opinions on them. I totally understand the full checks required but I couldn't believe what me and the mrs were being asked - we made a formal complaint but never heard anything back.
 
Mate, if YOU'RE on the EasyJet to Lanzarote I'd seriously lay off criticising the other chav scum.
TUI, I'll have you know good sir, my second will call on you tomorrow morning...at dawn
 

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ancienturion

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Dressed in a burberry shell suit ?
Dress however you wish sir my second and myself will be wearing short legged baggy jeans with tartan turn ups
 
Mate, I wouldn't even advise going down that route unless you want EVERY aspect of your life analysed and critiqued. Our next door neighbours went down the foster route and some cheeky bint of a social worker knocked on our door out of the blue asking for personal opinions on them. I totally understand the full checks required but I couldn't believe what me and the mrs were being asked - we made a formal complaint but never heard anything back.
They just have pretend to be a bisexual gender queer vegan marxist and I'm sure the social workers will pass them with flying colours
 
Dress however you wish sir my second and myself will be wearing short legged baggy jeans with tartan turn ups
Short legged on most other people are long on you, hence the turn ups!
 

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ancienturion

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