Bet it propels itself around the shop backwards using its legs and without looking where it's going, hitting people and objects as it goes. This is mainly because it's too lazy to use its arms or the arms are full of bags of crisps and bottles of fizzy sugar drinks.
Getting them in these parts as well now. Huge piles of blubber unable to walk and dependent on mobility scooters and wheelchairs to get around.
Harsh, but fair, though not hygenic: REplace 95% of fat in foods with that olestra stuff that caused 'anal seepage'.
Incorporate laxatives into naughty foods at a 1:3 fat/sugar/laxative.
REplace cadbury's chocolate with ex-lax entirely, horrid stuff now.
Admittedly sales of pressure washers and air fresheners would increase and every supermarket/kebab shop & burgerjoint would have to have a (large) human-sized carwash attached, but hey ho, needs must
You stole my idea! For years I've been saying strap 'em to the roof rack and take them through a drive through car wash. Nothing ever beats having to shower a 400lb person. We wind up using the flannel bed sheets as towels.