Sneaking women into camp - your memories...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheresaMay, Dec 11, 2012.

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  1. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    Back in your days of youth, I'm sure most of you on here will have fond memories of those awkward early encounters with the opposite sex. I remember only too well the lengths I would go to in order to try and secure a worthwhile pitch for the act of frightfulness itself. Like many others, I had parents that would simply have "none of that business under my roof", and her parents were even worse. So that left little options other than a cheap B&B for the night. Or the back of my gold Ford Fiesta (which just happened to be a V-Reg, like its owner at the time). Millionaires' weekend would get spanked with petrol money just to make the trip to Swansea - then there was the wining and dining, small gifts and whatever else was left would be divvied-up between the cheapest B&B Mumbles had to offer and paying back what I'd borrowed from parents / sister etc the month before.

    I suppose I look back on it all with rose-tinted spectacles now - or maybe because I didn't seem to have as much of a problem as some of my fellow 8-man room buddies. One of which was Dave - a cock-sure, gobby but charismatic bloke who simply didn't give a fuck about life in general.

    Dave didn't go to the trouble of booking a B&B, or finding somewhere quiet to drive out to late at night. He simply used to persuade whoever he was seeing at the time to bury herself in the boot of his car, sneak her into camp late at night and use the block drying room instead.

    All of this would be done in the early hours of the morning of course, whilst the rest of us were away to slumberland - he would be in there, using the railings as some kind of impromptu sex swing / apparatus, giving his Miss Right-Now a good 5 or 6 minutes of exercise. All during our trade training this had become his favourite place of action, unbeknown to all of us.

    It only came to light after one particular evening's entertainment. It was about 3 weeks into the month, and most of us had mustered up what cash we had to get a few bottles of beer in, a couple of videos and a few munchies. Dave had gone out to meet his latest girl. At some point in the night, we'd switched from videos to playing cards for coppers, which had somehow lasted until the early hours of the morning... During which Dave had brought his scutter back, sneaked her into the drying room, gone down on her, given her the good news and driven her back. How did we know? Because after he'd dropped her off and driven back to camp - we were all still up with the lights on and it was bright enough to see that either Dave had eaten a burger on the way home with far too much ketchup - or a certain young lady had come on at the wrong time (or just got 'lost in the moment', failing to bring it to his attention).

    It was at this point Dave, under utter disbelief and continued gaze at the nearest mirror to realise what his eyes were seeing (a nice redish, brownish goatee) - finally elaborated on his little hideout he'd enjoyed so much over the last six months.

    So given that most of you lot average about 60 years of age, and in the 50s 60s and 70s the thought of sex-before-marriage must have been your parents worst nightmare - what interesting quips do you have to muster from your awkward early experiences in life?

    Over to you!
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  2. Not so much sneaking women into camp...

    Back in the 1970's at Bassingbourn Barracks they used to have a weekly disco and a coach would be used to bring in a whole bunch of women from the local area, presumably Royston etc.

    I never managed to sneak one into the block but the RPs caught me on the bus at the main gate when a couple of girls were trying to smuggle me out of the camp...


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  3. I never had a problem sneaking them in, as they were invariably already in the bop. It was mag-to-gridding them that was problematic. I remember shoving one into the back of my mate's Capri covered in a GS blanket. Not because I was trying to conceal her gender, but because she was fucking hideous!
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  4. At Arborfield in the mid 80s it was dead easy, at the time there was no fence around the camp. We'd simply walk in at the Sergeants Mess and through the college, down to the block. The lady at the time would stay the night in the rather confining single bed and I'd walk her back in the morning. Usually to various comments from the SMC courses out for their morning runs...
  5. I remember the same at Arborfield at that time...:)....

    More of a failure to sneak in, but in Kenya with the Gurkhas I was stagging on the gate of the tented camp when two of them came back from the village with a couple of local girls....
    They werent allowed on camp as they wouldve pinched everything, so one of the Gurkhas got a couple of dossbags from his tent and they all fecked off into the night.....
    An hour or so later the two smiling Gurkhas were back in camp..:)

    Sneaking Sticky Vicky into the block at The 'Beach was easy was just a problem if you woke with her in your bed next it meant it was your turn to take her home and be back intime for parade!....
  6. Engineers - we is intelligent, so to overcome the problems of sneaking bint into camp, we simply invited them in on an organised function. Anyone who passed through 1 Regt Gib Barracks in the 80's will remember the end of course pissup inviting the WRACs and QA's from Aldershot, or the weekly 'Stomp's at Chattenden and Chatham.

    In Dirty 30 someone used to wait for a certain ex-Rhodie full-screw's bit to go for a shower in the morning, then join her for a quickie.
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  7. Yep, I attended one of those whilst in basic training! It was the only time you got a QA to go anywhere as as soon as we got to our units, we realised the party usually came to us! ;-)
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  8. Mansergh Barracks 1970's...the cam net store in the cellar under the LAD, we were all living in classrooms over 38 Bty gun park whilst the accom was upgraded and the store was a fuck sight more comfortable. Snuck Heike the bike in via a small side gate used for access to the Officer's Mess.
  9. Windsor - Mid 90's - most of the Lance Jacks well pretty OK with you bringing girls in and it wasn't a major problem. Until the day I woke up with a complete munter (one of many occassions) but this time I was still so pissed, I walked her past the guardroom at 09.03hrs on a saturday morning, about 15 meters behind the barrack guard! Never-the-less the SQMC who was orderly Major gave me a bit of a dressing down shortly afterwards! I'll give him credit, he didn't rip in to me too much, just a stern warning.
    We had the old 8 man rooms - but usually only 2 or 3 of us in them, if your mate was in, you could always find a bed in someone else's room to shag her!
  10. Had a wander round camp one Sunday morning to wake myself up an hour before I was due to handover, found a bird wandering aimlessly around the Education Centre holding one shoe and sobbing gently, I steered her towards the gaurd room and got some tea inside her, she'd apparently been sneaked in, in the back of a car, her suitor had smashed her then threw her out of the room, she'd ended up getting her head down behind the garages frightened that she'd be arrested for being on camp, she smelled of stale sex and cheap perfume, I dropped her off in Arbroath in Duty Clutches wheels and was handed her number, slag..

    My pal trapped a bird who worked in Boots in Angus, sneaked her in and out of Condor every weekend. Filthy cunt she was, always met him with a bag full of sex toys, lotions and potions and a Polaroid camera, he'd then feed us the pics on a Monday morning which we then pinned up as a timeline of sorts leaving the noticeboard drenched in Polaroid phots of her sticking all sorts of weird and wonderful shit up her holes and some belters of her grinner covered in his glue, all went well until plod tapped on the gate and nicked him for underage sex, she was on work experience but in his defence she looked 21, her parents had clicked on so endex for him though in every sense.
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  11. I remember the sound of her head hitting each stone step as we dragged her down into the cellar, quite sickening that was, I'd only just red leaded them the day before!
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  12. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    I was sort if hoping a thread like this might have attracted a couple of punters with some tales of old that could have made some entertaining light NAAFI break reading. But sadly it seems the interest is lacking.

    I give up - perhaps next time I should just post some random bollocks from the Daily Mail, or post "who's got the best tits / arse / clunge"... Or I might even be tempted to ignore the search function and post the same shit we've all read about 8 times over the last nine years.

    Please accept my humble apologies ;-)
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  13. Never snuck a bird into my billet but got dragged into WRAC barracks a few times.

    Kicking and sceaming obviously!!!
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