snakes with tits part 7

#4
Women are snakes with tits. Never trust them.

They will always

1. Lie to you

2. Cheat on you.

3. Buy shoes and pretend they bought shopping.

4. Hide stuff from you, like her knickers in her handbag.

5. Shag your best mate in the toilets when you are bezzering at the bar with your other mates and you are trying to look down her best mate's top.
 
#5
You can always trust your wife. I should know I've trusted five of them. They've never let me down. They were all lying, scheming, theiving, evil, dirty slags.

Which is exactly what I trusted them to be!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#10
They are charming, warm, affectionate, loving, soft and tender people that we should treat with total respect, adore without prejudice, worship and love.

I say this without any pressure, not being under duress at all in any way. Not even having my balls held in a vice like grip.
 
#11
old_fat_and_hairy said:
They are charming, warm, affectionate, loving, soft and tender people that we should treat with total respect, adore without prejudice, worship and love.

I say this without any pressure, not being under duress at all in any way. Not even having my balls held in a vice like grip.
Then why did your voice go up 5 Octaves during your post :wink:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#12
browny31310 said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
They are charming, warm, affectionate, loving, soft and tender people that we should treat with total respect, adore without prejudice, worship and love.

I say this without any pressure, not being under duress at all in any way. Not even having my balls held in a vice like grip.
Then why did your voice go up 5 Octaves during your post :wink:
Just pure excitement and adoration of the fair species!
 
#13
old_fat_and_hairy said:
browny31310 said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
They are charming, warm, affectionate, loving, soft and tender people that we should treat with total respect, adore without prejudice, worship and love.

I say this without any pressure, not being under duress at all in any way. Not even having my balls held in a vice like grip.
Then why did your voice go up 5 Octaves during your post :wink:
Just pure excitement and adoration of the fair species!
The bots are still in the vice like grip
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
arby said:
looney said:
And they malt like Dogs.
try explaining to your blonde girlfriend why there are a s*** load of long black hairs in the bed. apparently "they're my mums" doesnt cut it.
I'm not surprised, since your mum is ginger, and her hair is hort.And wiry, like a fox terrier.
But she is good, no doubt of that!
 
#16
thenutstrangler said:
15 days ago nothing but a divorce was good enough for her, now she wants me to buy a house and serve married unnacompanied...............................FFS She must think I'm stupid

Well even more stupid than I usually am anyway!
Did she get that cunning plan from Whiley Coyote? Has she asked you to take up £1 Million life insurance per chance?

Women can be trusted ...... er, I mean trust up with silk cord, blind folded, gently fondled, passionately kissed then thrown in to a large wooden crate marked "Air Mail, Dr Von Finetooshe, Bawdy House, Brazil". Before you start a new life with her much younger sister. :D
 
#19
old_fat_and_hairy said:
arby said:
looney said:
And they malt like Dogs.
try explaining to your blonde girlfriend why there are a s*** load of long black hairs in the bed. apparently "they're my mums" doesnt cut it.
I'm not surprised, since your mum is ginger, and her hair is hort.And wiry, like a fox terrier.
But she is good, no doubt of that!
OFAH, having read most of your posts on this site I have come to the conclusion ( a tad late I admit) that you are the biggest lounge lizard on this site. Your air of compassion for the fairer sex is your biggest ploy to get any or all of them under bedsheets (or against any wall or other such device). I think you should write a book on the subject to enable us lesser mortals a greater chance of scoring. If you did write this book what would you call it?.
 

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