snakes with tits part 7

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Flagrantviolator, Nov 29, 2007.

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  1. Surefire signs a woman's up to no good:
     
  2. She blinks her eyes and inhales air.
     
  3. There's a pulse.
     
  4. Women are snakes with tits. Never trust them.

    They will always

    1. Lie to you

    2. Cheat on you.

    3. Buy shoes and pretend they bought shopping.

    4. Hide stuff from you, like her knickers in her handbag.

    5. Shag your best mate in the toilets when you are bezzering at the bar with your other mates and you are trying to look down her best mate's top.
     
  5. You can always trust your wife. I should know I've trusted five of them. They've never let me down. They were all lying, scheming, theiving, evil, dirty slags.

    Which is exactly what I trusted them to be!
     
  6. And they malt like Dogs.
     
  7. You can always tell when they're gonna lie to you............



    Their mouths open.
     
  8. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    They are charming, warm, affectionate, loving, soft and tender people that we should treat with total respect, adore without prejudice, worship and love.

    I say this without any pressure, not being under duress at all in any way. Not even having my balls held in a vice like grip.
     
  9. Then why did your voice go up 5 Octaves during your post :wink:
     
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Just pure excitement and adoration of the fair species!
     
  11. The bots are still in the vice like grip
     
  12. try explaining to your blonde girlfriend why there are a shit load of long black hairs in the bed. apparently "they're my mums" doesnt cut it.
     
  13. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I'm not surprised, since your mum is ginger, and her hair is hort.And wiry, like a fox terrier.
    But she is good, no doubt of that!