Snakes with Tits, and with rottweiler lawyers. Your divorce horror stories

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by schweik, Jan 9, 2012.

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  1. I have recently had to give emotional assistance to a couple of mates who have been completely stitched up by the ex when they divorced. The general feeling has been that whatever the bloke has or has not done, the courts will view him as guilty and will financially rape him in order to fill the pockets of the ex - and quite often her new chap.

    (er, in the interests of non discrimination may I invite any dorises reading this to regard "Bloke", "he", "him" etc as also meaning "bird", "she", "her" etc.)

    Now I have been involved professionally with a lot of this stuff, and there are things that chaps (oh yes, I mean people generally) can do to protect their financial bits once the relationship breaks down. I already know the difference between marriage and cohabitation. What I was wondering about was the dirty tricks that she has played on him, or he has played on her, to gain a financial advantage. Any stories?

    No names, no pack drill. And no I'm not a journo, as anyone viewing my Arrse profile will readily determine. I am a socially inadequate, perverted, pissed up, taff rugby fan. That probably covers it.

    For myself, Mrs Schweik hasn't taken me to the cleaners yet ... but its only a matter of time ... shes waiting till there's a bit more than a few joint debts to fight over.

    Over to you, Arrsers
     
  2. A female member of my family met a bloke in rehab. She was drying out, he was coming off smack. Reader, she married him.

    To cut a long story short, things went south a couple of years later when he (off course) went back on the gear. They had a mortgage in her name into which he had paid a small amount of money; about £2000.

    He decided he wanted 'his' money out. They were both skint but because he was on the dole and had no assets he got fecking legal aid to fund a barrister for him. Because she had a house and an income she got nothing.
     
  3. My ex ran off with her boss at work and he has now moved in with her. I divorced her, lost 27% of my army pension and had to sign the house over to her. One of the "highlights" of the divorce process was the judge stating in court that I could expect to be earning wages in excess of £70,000 per year when I left the forces and he was basing his award partly upon that. I was discharged in October ... and am still looking for work :)

    But I am glad to be rid of the leech though and am enjoying getting on with my life. The whole process took a shade over two years to sort out.

    Berlin

    PS. I forgot to say that she also decided not to continue paying towards our joint bank loan and destroyed my credit rating in the process.
     
  4. And the moral of the tale boys and girls, don't get married!
     
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  5. Marry a bird with more money than you. The richer partner will always be in position to be screwed and that is generally (but not always) the male of the species.

    You will also be far worse off if you have kids (on the assumption she gets custody).

    In my experience, men, and military men in particular, are also far less devious and more likely to tell the truth expecting the courst to be fair - dont be so f'ing niaive. the bitches will lie, exaggerate and do whatever they can and the judges are already leaning towards their side to begin with.

    Moral of the story. Dont get married. Dont have kids. (Unless she has a huge personal income and/or assets).
     
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  6. Boldnotold

    Boldnotold LE Book Reviewer

    Oh blokeonabike. Where do I start? No men have 'mid life crises' and sh@g around at work when married? No arrser has lied to their wife/partner about where they were and who they were with? No bloke ever 'forgot' to pay his maintenance? Tried to hide his income where his children wouldn't benefit from it? Claimed he couldn't afford to pay what he'd agreed in court because he had a new wife/bmw/crack habit to support?

    Please may I move to your planet?

    But I entirely agree with your 'don't get married' sentiment. Oh yes.
     
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  7. And there speaks the voice of experience.

    There is all sorts of stuff out there - from simple shit like hacking their facebook to more sophisticated shit like software that records keystrokes on the computer, software that gives you copies of their texts, call logs and e-mails, software that pinpoints their geographical location, etc etc.

    On the other side of the coin there is software that automatically deletes texts sent, and even a site that will provide a fake alibi (inluding false documents like hotel bookings and travel reservations that "show" that you were in one place rather than another).

    But generally speaking they just say what it is youre supposed to have done, and the court accepts it as gospel, no matter what you might say about it!
     
  8. It is your own fault if you do it wrong, the law will always screw you over even if she has been fucking every Tom, Dick and his dog.

    The simple answer is kill the bitch and never let the body be found, or maybe send her on holiday to a Kenyan boarder town!!!
     
  9. Oh how I wish I'd gone to the school of deviousness that your wives appear to have attended!!
     
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  10. I taught mine a lesson.....ha! I made him keep the house, the car, all the furniture, half the savings and the trailer tent! I got the Dyson and my saucepan!!

    That taught the fucker! Baldy twat!
     
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  11. Praise god that my marriage ended happily (well, as happily as could be expected).
    We sat down, talked like adults - she got the house, I kept the pension. Despite my earning a fair amount more than her, I was happy to escape. Fair doo's to her too - I am pretty sure she told her lawyers to ram it when they suggested screwing me for all I was worth. Although that may have been due to me telling her to be very careful as all lawyers were merely out to bill as many hours as possible.

    I now have a decent apartment and stay happily single - she and her partner have dropped a sprog and I am chuffed for them both (a nice bottle of fizzy stuff and a very good cigar as presents).

    Just to put forward the view that not all women are snakes with tits.
     
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  12. Quite, I lost the house to my ex wife and also the prospect of getting back on the property ladder any time soon. But I still have my pensions intact, which I believe her solicitor (a woman) was advising her to dig into.

    On the other hand the very recent ex was a devious little cow! We were engage to be married later this year and all was going well, so I thought. A few months into the engagement I started to get a bit anxious about a few things. I grew suspicious about a few of her colleagues after coming across a private message on her FB account genuinely by accident, she was constantly attached to her phone and I was constantly hearing how great so and so is. Of course it was all nothing and I was just being insecure.

    Until I decided enough was enough and went through her phone. Saw several text messages between her and a senior colleague of hers that she hadn't got round to deleting yet. Fucking gotcha!

    She was very matter of fact about it, devoid of any emotion or regret. It seems it was my fault for being suspicious in the first place. No smoke without fire and all that.

    I'm certain she would have gone through with the wedding had she not been caught out. Makes me glad I'm rid of the nasty piece of work, but what really pissed me and my family off was that she did seem like a genuinely nice person and we all fell for it.

    Testament to her character, she proudly announced she's in a relationship with yet another of her colleagues the day she dropped off the house keys.

    So not all women are snakes with tits, but I'm pretty sure they are all capable of being just so.

    Don't get married, it means absolutely fuck all in modern Britain.
     
  13. Of those I know who have divorced relatively happily, two factors are common:

    Both partners work and have reasonable income - therefor no need to fight over the money or feel bitter about splitting assets to which both have contributed relatively equally.
    No children.

    The bloke usually gets screwed because the ex has little or no income and/or keeps the kids. Now I dont mind paying upkeep for my kids but I see no reason to be paying for the ex's upkeep just because I was stupid enough to let her get away with being a parasite when we were married.

    Oh, and BoldnotOld, I am not talking about who is at fault for marriages breaking down. Clearly there is equal blame on both sides of that argument. I am purely talking about the financial settlement where, for some bizarre reason, one partner, usually the wife, and independent of whose actions led to the divorce, expects to carry on being supported by the other rather than fending for themselves.
     
  14. Ah, I know that lesson well. Mine got the house, all the contents, the dog and three cars. He owes me about £50k in maintenance too.

    My godmother also gave her ex husband an almighty kick in the teeth when she gave him all her inheritance from her father (enough to buy a 4 bedroom house) and half her substantial personal income after supporting him and his very expensive habits for nearly a decade.

    both lucky chaps were not shy of hitting women, clearly violence is the answer