Snakes with chesticles, be afraid...

#3
"Liz Jones and her ex-husband Nirpal Singh Dhaliwal. They met when he was 26 and she was 37"

She sound pretty desperate.
She writes a piece every week in the back of the free shite glossy magazine that comes with the Mail on Sunday. She comes across as self-obsessed, and self-important, neurotic, materialistic, shallow, whiney bitch. Also, she's lost her looks.
 
#4
She writes a piece every week in the back of the free shite glossy magazine that comes with the Mail on Sunday.




She

(comes across as self-obsessed, and self-important, neurotic, materialistic, shallow, whiney bitch. Also, she's lost her looks.[\QUOTE]

She...

All you needed to say...
 
#5
She's an evil twisted pile of shite and I'd LOVE to watch her give birth to a fully grown blue whale wrapped entirely in red hot chain mail in a vodka and lemon juice bath, while a dwarf in a clown mask fucked her up the nostrils with a shit-dipped knob! My don't like her!
 
#6
Is she that media hag who moved to a village in Devon, wrote throwaway articles for the Mail about how awful it was living amongst yocal inbreds, then wondered why the local populace fucked her off at the point of a pitchfork?
 
#7
Apparently her sister drank herself to death.

Can't blame her really.
 
#9
It wasn't long ago that she was moaning that she was tens of thousands in debt but couldn't stop shopping, she is a full blown fucking loony. Always trying to get a rich fella, she's a mong.
 
#10
#11
Prime candidate for the old 'flying headbutt'.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
She's an evil twisted pile of shite and I'd LOVE to watch her give birth to a fully grown blue whale wrapped entirely in red hot chain mail in a vodka and lemon juice bath, while a dwarf in a clown mask fucked her up the nostrils with a shit-dipped knob! My don't like her!
God, I love it when you're masterful. Heres a prez sweet pea. Pour yourself a Harpic & Toilet Duck martini, slip out of your sling-backs, and enjoy. http://foldsfive.blogspot.com/2011/01/liz-jones-appeal-for-leniency.html

E
very now and then some div will stroll in here and bleat "My neighbor was nasty to my dog. How can I get even?" The general consensus seems to be 'break his legs', predictable and crude although, six months in traction with a femur broken in two places with a scaffy bar will tend to allow for reflection upon ones errors. But every time this question is asked I am put in mind of an old associate who devised the most cunning, convoluted, Machiavellian and frankly fucking brilliant revenge plan ever. Resulting in an entirely deserving cunt getting 15 years. Another time maybe.

Should you ever use a condom with a strange bird, DO NOT let her dispose of it. Knot the fucker, walk to the shitter, put your hand down around the bend, and flush. Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom.
 
#17
Maybe this is the bandolier of the new breed of professional women.


caption1103_3.jpg
 

Andy_S

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
Sperm thieves? Damnation.

I suppose if one were a criminal mastermind, one might congratulate the (gorgeous) maiden in question for inventing a new category of crime in a jaded world.

But for law-abiding, easily shocked citizens like ARRSERs, one can only say this:
If even these incredibly tiny, hard-working little fellows face the threat of being kidnapped by mad wimmen, then Olde Blighty has gone downhill.

Is nothing sacred?

The crime in question reminds of that old belter:
- I say! I say! I say!
- What do you say? What do you say! What do you say?
- My gay chum just lost his job at the sperm bank.
- Crivens! Why so?
- Alas, poor Crispin! He was caught drinking on the job...

I know, I know, I've hailed the cab.
 
#19
She's an evil twisted pile of shite and I'd LOVE to watch her give birth to a fully grown blue whale wrapped entirely in red hot chain mail in a vodka and lemon juice bath, while a dwarf in a clown mask fucked her up the nostrils with a shit-dipped knob! My don't like her!
THIS IS BRILLIANT !! .... you should have been a journalist.
 
#20
Anyway, I think its mostly bollocks. (pun intended) first, the condom would need to be one with no spermicide in it.. then it would need to be
kept warm then the woman would need to propel it the length of an erect knob into her relevent tube... some 9and five sixteenths inches.
Also, she would have to be exited herself and be orgasming, such that some strange thing dips into the semen pool.
 
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