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Snail infestation

#21
H

Mmm, could be a starter before the main course of roasted Mole.
Just keep an eye on tonight I cooked.
Talking of edible foods did anyone see that twat on the telly the other day on some quiz programme? Q What animal does Venison come from?
Contestant answers, "Ostritch".
It's true, honest, it's a sad state of affairs.
Ostrich does not taste like venison at all. Closest taste to ostrich in my opinion is veal. Tasty roasted.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#22
There's millions of the feckers in my gardens, big brutes too. Every morning without fail, there's one stuck on the garage door. The LHCO shovelled up a whole stack of them and turfed them down the drain at the back of the house, which is now blocked.
get yourself a snailbat, lots of fun in a morning launching them as far as you can.
1537595501850.png


Helpful hint, don't try using a wooden bat as it tends to destroy the snails on impact rather than send them any distance
 
#23
#25
get yourself a snailbat, lots of fun in a morning launching them as far as you can.
View attachment 354093

Helpful hint, don't try using a wooden bat as it tends to destroy the snails on impact rather than send them any distance
I used to use a badminton racquet to get them off my dad's allotment.
Lovely 'boing' noise as they go into orbit...
 
#29
Why have WRAF got legs?
.
.
.
.
.
.Have you seen the mess snails make....?
WRAF? Fuck me I've had some insults in the past but that takes the piss.
 
#32
Is this available with a diamond blade?
As far as I know, yes, apparently it's called a Hunga Munga and was used to hunt and slaughter unicorns to extinction. ;)
 
#33
As far as I know, yes, apparently it's called a Hunga Munga and was used to hunt and slaughter unicorns to extinction. ;)
Good. Unicorns are dickheads.
 
#35
Never thought of eating garden snails. I have binned a few dozen this year. To be honest, I'd rather eat the carrot than feed it to them. What do they taste like when cooked?
Good fun admittedly, but you'll have to do it again and again and again.
Snails Homing Instinct.
I suspected as much, which is why I put them in the garden waste bin. Unless they have discovered teleportation I wouldn't expect those ones to come back.
 

greyfergie

MIA
Book Reviewer
#38
Never thought of eating garden snails. I have binned a few dozen this year. To be honest, I'd rather eat the carrot than feed it to them. What do they taste like when cooked?

I suspected as much, which is why I put them in the garden waste bin. Unless they have discovered teleportation I wouldn't expect those ones to come back.
Garlic - if you cook em in garlic, they’re a bit like snot on their own, but various recipes for sauces to make em taste good, I had a parsley one last year and that was nice.

I would still like to know which brave person initially thought “they’ll taste good!”
 
#40
I used to use a badminton racquet to get them off my dad's allotment.
Lovely 'boing' noise as they go into orbit...
Ah! Snail golf. When we had dogs I'd do the garden clear-up using a long-handled dustpan and brush, with the bristles cut off the brush for obvious reasons. The 'brush' resembled a putter, so one night snail golf was invented. It was fun and although I hate golf, with a bit of practice it was possible to chip them over the fence. Too low and SPLAT! Win-Win.
Snail golf replaced snail football (hate football too). This came to an abrupt end when my slipper-clad foot punted the edge of a slightly raised slab, ripping the sole from my slipper and blackening several nails.
Fucking snails.
 
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