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Smoking kills

My Uncle Ned was ran over and killed by a HGV bearing the logo 'Lambert & Butler Super Kings' which proves beyond doubt that smoking is bad for your health. On a contradictory note, my Grandfather smoked 80 capstan full strengh every day from the age of 14 until he died aged 22.
For anyone having difficulty in stopping smoking take my advice and get acupuncture. It stopped me immediately.

The bloke put a load of needles in my fags.
My cousin Otis, who was one of Jesus's disciples but was airbrushed out of 'The Last Supper' because he had a hair lip, smoked 80 fish fingers, 3 sheep and 60 packets of Marlborough Lights every day since he was a foetus until he died aged 411 at the Battle of the Somme. He wasn't involved in the actual battle but was camping in the next field and went to complain about the noise. Honest.

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