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Any one remember the ads for Smirnoff vodka in the dear dead days when purveyors of strong drink could advertise on the telly ?

The proposition was that the drinker had a sexless, boring and unfulfilling life e,g. "I thought a night in with a good book was the tops, until I discovered Smirnoff"

The takes on that were legion, can any of you recall any to add to the following:-

'I thought Wanking was a town in China, until, etc.'

'I thought Fellatio was an Italian film director ...'

'I thought Cunnilingus flew to Dublin ...'

'I thought Felching was a village near Hastings ...'


Book Reviewer
I thought itchy fanny was a Japanese motorbike.

Snow White thought that seven up was a soft drink until she met the dwarfs.
So if we can sue McDonalds for making us fat,
cigarette companies for giving us cancer,

why can't we sue Smirnoff for all the ugly *birds we've shagged???

*delete and insert as you see fit
I would have to snort 3l of the stuff to make that funny.
Peace be unto you brother. To be honest, I didn't know whether to put this on the NAAFI or in here, but I genuinely wanted to know if anyone remembered any more variations, having woken in the small hours and suffered the inevitable and illogical thought process of non-sequitors. Like, when you are desperately trying to remember someone's name. It's not important but it bugs you.

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