Smeat: The other Spam

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by BashaBasher, Sep 28, 2006.

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  1. Does anyone know where to buy Smeat?, It is the same stuff as Spam but i heard it is tastier. I believe it is only sold in the US.


  2. Make your own, the recipie is quite simple.

    1) Mix 500g of lard and 2kg of horse/donkey genitalia.

    2) Chop into small cubes, then beat thouroughly with a lump hammer (for safety reasons ensure that the genitals are removed from the horse prior to this process).

    3) When the meat resembles the contents of a 60 year old prostitutes underwear add to a pan.

    4) Boil for 1 hour on a medium heat.

    5) Put the boiled meat into a rectangular baking tray and allow to cool naturally.

  3. Oh yeah? Been peeping into your mom's wardrobe again,huh? Perv. :p
  4. I think the recipie means while the prostitute is wearing them you thick cnut. :wink:

    PS. If anybody is unsure as to what this looks like I have it on good authority DD's mother will allow you to view and taste for a packet of pickled onion space raiders.

    Edited for speeling layk a mlaar
  5. So you sneaked a peek under her skirt?Anything drip on your face?

    You sir,need to turn yourself in to the authorities.You need help.
  6. No i paid the 10p and gave her a packet of space raiders :wink:
  7. Got me there. 8O
  8. As fictional as your manhood??Or as fictional as (insert tasteless joke here-preferably something intended to hurt my feelings)
  9. You dont learn do you? I'll explain it for you: Stay in your box and you don't get spanked!
  10. I like pain Jack.Do you? :twisted:
  11. I enter competitions to see how much razor wire i can fit into my japseye, then we tie the end of the razor wire to wild stallions then whip them, afterwards its off to the naffi to rub crushed salt and vinegar crisps into our tattered pork swords. So I guess my answer is yes.

    Edited to add my personal best is 27 inches, this is weak in comparison to the world record of 43 inches.
  12. Jack,my long lost brother.Come here!! :glomp:
  13. Here's the Smeat website

    I guess we have found a new walt food, 'Walt Spam' also known as 'Smeat'.

    Could be another name for walts, Smeat Eaters, Smeat Eating Walts :lol: .
  14. I suppose it makes sense, high lard content (see above recipie) = fat walts