Smallest effort, Biggest Result.

Except for the Victim, we all enjoy a prank however some of the most elaborate japes can be a damp squib, however something seen as just a bit of a giggle can explode into a truly great Practical joke.

A while ago I was covering a stores job for a mate while he was on leave, whilst killing time waiting to get knocked off on a Friday afternoon I decided to change the words on his stamp to read "I am a lazy fat Cunt"(With the changeable date in the middle, You know the type), not rocket science you will agree, and on the Monday I had forgotten that I had done it to be honest. My only intention was for him to stamp something, swear, and then have to spend 10 mins putting his job title back together.

Nearly Month later he was fucking livid with me and I really thought he was going to kick off. He hadnt noticed for a whole Month and had sent stuff to the CO, RSM, QM, and to other Units all over the world.

He started to get the feedback about a week later with some people sending Memos to Cpl ******* the lazy fat cunt but no "flash to bang".

He only found out when doing his end of Month accounts and The RQMS pointing it out to him, and also informing him he would have to re-do the months paperwork and track down stuff he had already sent to people and start apologising.

I got a bit of a rifting off the Boss myself for being the perpertrator, but was let off any action being taken as the silly sod should have noticed (And I think he saw the funny side as he was trying to bollock me whilst giggling). He accepted this with the Consolitary beer I bought him too and saw the funny side in the end.

So minimum effort, Maximum Result. I wish I had a bit of foresight and had changed the words into something a bit less playground, but there you go.

And, if you work with someone who has got one of those stamps, get a spare letter set from the Stationary store, and when their back is turned, do it, they may notice straight away or you may strike comedy gold.

Also any suggestions for stamp slogans would be useful for the future :twisted:
verticalgyro said:
We changed the signature on the tiffs MS Outlook to read from "Artificer" to "Arsehole". We also changed his autocorrect spelling in MS Word to whenever he typed "Artificer" to "Arsehole".

He went absolutely spastic when the Bde ASM phoned him up to ask why he was signing off all his emails and letters as:

SSgt N*** R***
Eng Control

If you're reading this N***, we loved you to bits, but it was so funny watching you go apeshit, I would do it again.

edited for swear filter
Fek - you beat me to it


Kit Reviewer
Two of my housemates recently did Tough Guy with a few other mates and colleagues from across the Services, one of the end results being a number of disposable cameras covered in mud, water and horse sh*t. On Tuesday we took them to Boots for processing, along with two more cameras - one from a house party a couple of months ago, and one from another housemate's (let's call him A) holiday with the girl he dumped on the last day before they flew back.

We get to the shopping centre, drop them off (apologising for the state of the cameras), and are kindly informed that they can do quite a bit to salvage as many of the pictures as possible.

We wander off for a drink and to sort out other stuff, and come back an hour later for our photos - which aren't done.

"Sorry, the machine's broken. We're just on to the engineer."

Turns out the horse shit had jammed a set of negatives in the negative processing machine and it'd been down for half an hour.

"We got two sets of negatives ready before the third jammed up. We can run off copies of those two in the next 10 minutes if you want?"

Sounds like a suitable option for us - we could always come back the next day for the rest.

Anyway, then it all goes wrong. Turns out there's a common fault in the printer as well, meaning after a reboot it sometimes randomly latches on to one picture and prints it 100 times. We ended up with a large stack of quite an unflattering picture of "A", which Boots kindly let us take away for them rather than throw in the bin.

Two rolls of sellotape later and A, who's out on a date at the time, comes home (with burd) to find his bedroom completely redecorated - every wall, door, square inch of ceiling, wardrobe door, etc. covered in this one picture. Freaked the hell out of the girl, wound him up no end (particularly when things started dropping off the ceiling mid-shag and -sleep) and made us chuckle something chronic.

Not exactly smallest effort, but we made the most of a glorious opportunity that was presented and it cost us rock all :)
Trying that one next time someone leaves their DII unattended

Edited to add it was Verticals post I was talking about
TELIC6, changed a Danish Staff Officer's Outlook sig file from SO3 Blah to "The Danish God of Bureaucratic Process", when he left his PC unattended. Took about a week to realise that all the emails he had sent to Corps had this on.

Cue one Danish sense of humour failure. Especially as he works for Computer Associates :)

He was sure it was me but couldn't prove it and strangely no-one in the office had seen me do it.

taffridge said:
Trying that one next time someone leaves their DII unattended

Edited to add it was Verticals post I was talking about
I have done similar. Sent e-mails to the OC and CO from peoples accounts saying the likes of love you Sir, or better 'Sir you are a cnut!'.

The funniest one for me was about 3 years ago in the LAD, during a hot German summer day, most of the Camp was on minimum manning.

One of the lads opened his daysack and a 'fugly' dropped out. (the fluffy toy thing, not the Arrser).

After ripping him for about half an hour, we started ringing round and shaking this thing down the phone when people answered. It's laugh was one of the most annoying sounds I have ever heard :x

We had a particular Dragon of an Adj at the time, so of course she got numerous calls :D

We eventually got the ASM in on it, and he had great delight taking time out of his busy day to wind people up. He didn't however, notice all of us slink out of his office as the 'Dragon' approuched his open office window mid prank call :wink:

Que lots of shouting from the Adj and lots of 'sorry Ma'am but it wasn't me' from the ASM :)

I think we opened a beer or two after that, he found the funny side after about his 5th :D

Edited for mong spelling
Blatant abuse of letterheads is a favourite of mine. During school I got alot of my classmates in the shit by using school letterheads to write to parents concering masturbation in class. Classic.

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