Smacking kids - thoughts

Do you smack yours kids?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
I was listening to a programme on Radio 5 on Sat about a law concerning the smacking of kids and how it will be outlawed even in the home some time in the near future. Not that I am advocating beating kids within an inch of their lives, but just wondered what fellow ARRSErs views were, being a well balanced and representative section of society.

Additionally, what methods do you use to discipline naughty kids??

Before any body gets funny, yes I have kids and I'm not being a deviant!
 
#2
I don't believe in smacking children.

To my mind, if you hit a child it only shows you have lost control of your own emotions.

Things like removal of toys/privileges etc or being sent to sit on the step work effectively, without needing to resort to hitting.

I have smacked my child once and felt horrible for doing it, so never have again. In fact, I would even go so far as to say he is a better disciplined for me not smacking him and is a generally nice kid. He knows hitting is wrong and doesn't do it to others either.
 
#3
I don't give a shit about some grubby do-gooders telling me I can't smack the boy. It works, and he knows his boundaries because of it. Example:

We've got a fire with that fake coal stuff in it. He used to wander over and try and eat it. We disciplined him in stages.

Stage 1: Tell him no, move him away from fire. Repeat a few times.
Stage 2: Tap on the hand, tell him no and move away from fire. Repeat a few times.
Stag 3: Smack his arrse.

result: He dosen't go near the fire. On the few occasions that he has a quick shout of his name (to get his attention) and saying no, means he moves away. Job done.

My other method is to put him in his cot with no toys if he's being a turd. He screams a bit, I go back 10 minutes later. We have a discussion about it and then he (generally) behaves afterwards.
 
#4
How will the government and Police enforce this 'Law'. They can't even sort out basic protection measures like stopping perverts interfering with them so a tap on the back of the legs is probably well out of their ability.
 
#5
It's all about establishing boundaries and both parent and child remaining within them. You have to be a parent to your child not a friend. Perhaps shouting at them is as bad as hitting them?
 
#6
StabTiffy2B said:
I don't give a shit about some grubby do-gooders telling me I can't smack the boy. It works, and he knows his boundaries because of it. Example:

We've got a fire with that fake coal stuff in it. He used to wander over and try and eat it. We disciplined him in stages.

Stage 1: Tell him no, move him away from fire. Repeat a few times.
Stage 2: Tap on the hand, tell him no and move away from fire. Repeat a few times.
Stag 3: Smack his arrse.

result: He dosen't go near the fire. On the few occasions that he has a quick shout of his name (to get his attention) and saying no, means he moves away. Job done.

My other method is to put him in his cot with no toys if he's being a turd. He screams a bit, I go back 10 minutes later. We have a discussion about it and then he (generally) behaves afterwards.
If your kid is still in a COT, how the fcuk can you have a "discussion" with him?
 
#7
StabTiffy2B said:
I don't give a shit about some grubby do-gooders telling me I can't smack the boy. It works, and he knows his boundaries because of it. Example:

We've got a fire with that fake coal stuff in it. He used to wander over and try and eat it. We disciplined him in stages.

Stage 1: Tell him no, move him away from fire. Repeat a few times.
Stage 2: Tap on the hand, tell him no and move away from fire. Repeat a few times.
Stag 3: Smack his arrse.

result: He dosen't go near the fire. On the few occasions that he has a quick shout of his name (to get his attention) and saying no, means he moves away. Job done.

My other method is to put him in his cot with no toys if he's being a turd. He screams a bit, I go back 10 minutes later. We have a discussion about it and then he (generally) behaves afterwards.
To be fair he is 24 and should know better eh?
 
#9
There is absolutely no excuse or need for physical abuse of your children.


I've always found that psychological cruelty is far more effective..
 
#10
All of the peace loving hippies who gob off about not smacking kids would rather criminalise parents who are bringing their kids up in a decent manner to try and create a decent adult!

I smack my kids but only as a last resort and I certainly don't enjoy doing it. They know their boundaries and the threat of a smack works wonders especially when backed up with the naughty step etcetera. However I have discovered that cash is king and for kids of certain ages the threat of no pocket money does wonders, especially when they see their siblings buying their own treats while they've got nothing!
 
#12
Smacking a child has to be the last resort, and shouldn't be excessive. there are times when mini miss has tried to run into the road, or poke the dogs eyes as a couple of examples. telling her 'NO' at almost 3 yrs old sometimes has the opposite effect and makes her want to do it more. A tap on the wrist has been used on her (not walloping her with a brick ffs). lots of tears ensue and a promise from her to be a good girl.
Usually the removal of toys, sitting on the naughty step, no sweets etc is enough, but sometimes - just sometimes those things don't work.

edited to add - often the threat has been enough to sort things out, then we can explain why poking the dog in the eyes is bad etc. then its all back to normal again.
 
#13
As a comedian (Jeremy Hardy I think) said
" I don't know why people smack their children, humiliating them is so much more permanent!"
 
#14
Horridlittleman said:
All of the peace loving hippies who gob off about not smacking kids would rather criminalise parents who are bringing their kids up in a decent manner to try and create a decent adult!

I smack my kids but only as a last resort and I certainly don't enjoy doing it. They know their boundaries and the threat of a smack works wonders especially when backed up with the naughty step etcetera. However I have discovered that cash is king and for kids of certain ages the threat of no pocket money does wonders, especially when they see their siblings buying their own treats while they've got nothing!
Not everyone who disagrees with smacking their kids are hippies ffs

Perhaps there are some of us who can find alternative ways to effectively discipline our children without resorting to walloping them.
 
#15
Moodybitch said:
Horridlittleman said:
All of the peace loving hippies who gob off about not smacking kids would rather criminalise parents who are bringing their kids up in a decent manner to try and create a decent adult!

I smack my kids but only as a last resort and I certainly don't enjoy doing it. They know their boundaries and the threat of a smack works wonders especially when backed up with the naughty step etcetera. However I have discovered that cash is king and for kids of certain ages the threat of no pocket money does wonders, especially when they see their siblings buying their own treats while they've got nothing!
Not everyone who disagrees with smacking their kids are hippies ffs

Perhaps there are some of us who can find alternative ways to effectively discipline our children without resorting to walloping them.
I agree with Moodybitch, smacking a child is not the only effective way of disciplining a child. There are other equally effective ways, they just need to be thought out beforehand.
 
#16
I used to get hammered as a kid and to be perfectly honest I fuc*in deserved every lash of the belt. I was a complete and utter nightmare for my poor old mum and dad and if they hadn't sorted me out physically I would have ended up in prison - end of. I don't see it as abuse and if I could see my old man now I'd thank him (shame I strangled him with his belt ). Nowadays I'd probably get labelled with ADHD or something get pumped full of drugs and watch my mum and dad get a wheelbarrow of cash for their 'disabled' offspring. Some kids need a hiding - some don't. If you take away the consequence then children have no fear of consequence and you end up with the shit society that we live in today where 90 year old men are stabbed and left to die in the street.

I watched a fat little 4 year old bully smack a 2 year old girl with the sharp edge of badminton raquet yesterday, then the little turd went running to his fat chav mother stating that she hit him first and the 'parent' gave the the girl a rollicking. I informed her that it was her oversized turd of a son who was at fault and she gave me the keep your nose out stare. Result = fat turd 1xlollipop 2 year old nice red welt across the forehead. I'd of thrashed the little bastard.
 
#17
qman said:
I used to get hammered as a kid and to be perfectly honest I fuc*in deserved every lash of the belt. I was a complete and utter nightmare for my poor old mum and dad and if they hadn't sorted me out physically I would have ended up in prison - end of. I don't see it as abuse and if I could see my old man now I'd thank him (shame I strangled him with his belt ). Nowadays I'd probably get labelled with ADHD or something get pumped full of drugs and watch my mum and dad get a wheelbarrow of cash for their 'disabled' offspring. Some kids need a hiding - some don't. If you take away the consequence then children have no fear of consequence and you end up with the s*** society that we live in today where 90 year old men are stabbed and left to die in the street.
Hitting as a form of punishment is not the only way to demonstrate to your kids that there are consequences for their actions.
 
#18
Any of you familiar with Dr. Spock (the child psychology guru of the 70's not the Star Trek charictor) his spouted detritus was what lead to spanking being considered a no no in American society. Just before he passed away, the good doctor admited he made a grave error and was totally wrong... all of his own offspring turned out to be narcotics addicted criminals so that was an honest mea culpa.

Spanking, not beating, is certainly appropriate punishment for trangression until the child is old enough to be reasoned with (say age 6 or 7.) Time outs can also be very effective as long as they are applied consistantly and never waivered on. How often do you see an otherwise rational parent attempt to debate with a four year old when the brat is acting up? Happens all the time here... as if a kid that young understands a flipping thing said to them. Children need boundarys at first... they need guidance in the simplest form possible. All too often parents take the easy way out not realizing that it leads to bigger problems down the road. If that baseline is established early then the teen years are a hell of a lot easier to get through.

Before you ask, no... the wife and I have no children of our own yet (hopefully soon though) but I am a student of the human condition and aside from carefully noting what works and doesn't work from the observed actions of family and friends with their kids, I participate in the Big Brother program and mentor troubled kids who need positive role models.. so far so good... had four charges over the last few years and all of them turned out okay once pointed in the right direction and given proper guidance on how to deal with problems.
 
#19
Smacking kids , as in lashing out and leaving welts and red marks on them, NO , but just a little tap/slap round the legs on a little 'un to get their attention that they've done wrong, I see no problem with , sometimes its just enough to get their attention , in a similar way to smacking a dogs nose with a new paper, its not how hard you do it, more the effect or the reaction you get.

That said my late grandfather used to have a magic slipper, one wave of that and me and my little brother disappeared!
 
#20
Khyros said:
Any of you familiar with Dr. Spock (the child psychology guru of the 70's not the Star Trek charictor) his spouted detritus was what lead to spanking being considered a no no in American society. Just before he passed away, the good doctor admited he made a grave error and was totally wrong... all of his own offspring turned out to be narcotics addicted criminals so that was an honest mea culpa.

Spanking, not beating, is certainly appropriate punishment for trangression until the child is old enough to be reasoned with (say age 6 or 7.) Time outs can also be very effective as long as they are applied consistantly and never waivered on. How often do you see an otherwise rational parent attempt to debate with a four year old when the brat is acting up? Happens all the time here... as if a kid that young understands a flipping thing said to them. Children need boundarys at first... they need guidance in the simplest form possible. All too often parents take the easy way out not realizing that it leads to bigger problems down the road. If that baseline is established early then the teen years are a hell of a lot easier to get through.
I can put the fear of God into my son by raising my voice alone but usually tell him he is on the step if he doesn't stop being naughty by the count of 3.

It works, everytime. I don't need to intimidate my child by hitting him.
 

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