Slowly does it....

Dave arrives home from work one evening to find his wife in a panic, "My boss is coming round for dinner with his French girlfriend," she says, "I need you to go down to the market and get some snails for the starter."

On the way back home Dave bumps into his mate, who suggests a quick pint "Just a quick one, mate, I've got to get back." Dave replies.

So he goes for a pint which soon turns into five.

Dave then chats up a girl at the bar and goes back to hers, only to pass out and wake up the next morning.

He gets dressed, grabs the snails and runs home, but just as he gets to the doorstep he trips and the snails go everywhere.

His wife opens the door and screams, "Where the hell have you been?"

Dave looks down and shouts, "Come on, lads, nearly there!"

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