Saw my son do it this afternoon on a Sunday afternoon nap. He didn't do anything more than walk from his room, sit down cross-legged on the living-room floor, get up and slump back in a beanbag in his room. Any stories ?


Was staying at a mates house who had recently left the infantry. There was a few of us camped out downstairs, saw him get up, so i said as you would "What you doing mate?" No reply.. walked to the bottom of the stairs as he was walking up asked again what he was doing, turned round "Shh maintain radio silence", walked into his room and started clearing his cupboards asif he was doing CQB or some crazy shit like that. They fell asleep on his bed.
Bizzare to say the least..


I watched my 4 year old walk into my sons room pick up his herf gun fire a couple of rounds off and then go back to bed it was so funny


I sleepwalked once (that I'm aware of) when I was about 10.

Apparently I got up out of bed late at night, went to the loo and the next thing my parents heard was a lot of noisy crashing sounds including the toilet seat being thrown violently down. When my dad shouted up the stairs to ask what the hell I was doing I allegedly screamed, "what the fcuk do you think I'm doing you stupid twat I'm peeing!"

I then walked calmly back to my room and went back to sleeping position. The next day I happily came down to breakfast without a care in the world, blissfully unaware of the approaching parental wrath!

It was very odd given I wasn't the type of child who ever swore or indeed screamed at my parents (when I was fully conscious I knew better than to!)

Also witnessed a girl sleepwalking off the top bunk of a bed on a school trip to dublin...that was pretty funny, she thought she was playing football and allegedly has to be locked in her room from the outside every night because she has escaped before and woken up in the centre of town. I just think her old man has fritzl tendencies...

I also talk in my sleep, but when people stop outside my door to listen I stop almost as if my subconscious knows they're there.


Ive done that boozy, called my mum a cnut whilst semi-sleepwalking I suppose you could call it. She saw the funny side.

Semi-sleepwalking is all I seem to experience, im like awake and aware of what im doing, it's just i don't know why im doing it. One example was when I was camping, I woke up and proceeded to get out of the tent and stood there for 5 minutes before I realised I should probably get my head down. Another was when I was younger I woke up in the middle of the night after watching some gang related documentry, i was almost in tears as i paced up and down my room thinking they were coming to kill my sister. Again after 5 minutes or so I realised it was all bullshit.

My brother came in to wake me up one morning and I was asleep bolt upright. Maybe went for a slash and realised im actually a lazy cnut?
Got back to Iserlohn after a two week sailing trip to Denmark, I had a bunk at the end of the corridor on the second floor of the block next to the NAAFI. Having had no sleep for about 40 hours I crashed out and had a very strange dream: The boat was coming in to Copenhagen yacht club jetty. I had to step ashore and tie the boat up. As I was about to step onto the jetty I looked down but instead of the sea, there were dustbins below me. I woke up several hours later to find my windows wide open, curtains blowing in the breeze. The NAAFI dustbins had been placed along the wall of the block.


I've experienced sleep paralysis before too... you're laying there with your eyes open but your not awake enough to control your body, it's like you're totally paralysed yet totally aware of your surroundings and it's quite frankly terrifying!
sleep talking I'm the worst for that

my mum still takes the piss out of the time she tried to wake me only to be told "i'll be down in a minate, i need to feed the goldfish cause the house is on fire"

I didn't have fish the house wasn't on fire

I've also claimed i was buying cds online, looking for stamps and hanging a door- all whilst spark out asleep, wierdly I often go whole nights without being able to sleep and then do 18-19 hours at a time

my sister suffered from terrible night terrors, often stood at the top of the stairs arm outstreched screaming pointing at nothing


I totally agree.. I can remember vividly the experience I had when I thought that pachino and his boys were coming to gat my sister was amazingly distressfull.. It felt so real and i'd never want that feeling again.
I have similar feelings but not as bad in my dreams, one I got put in prison for some reason, and i remember literally feeling asif you'd just got sent down and it felt so real, i woke up with so much relief.. I think it's done me good, I fancy keeping clear of prison. Not that I had plans that way in the first place...
I don't know if it was 1/2 dream or what but as a kid I'd often lay in bed and hear my dad shouting his head off, the only problem was it would often be on nights he was doing a late/night shift and wasn't in the house


Again, i'm starting to realise I really had a fucked up childhood sleep wise.

Mr R, that happend to me once, it was my step dad drunk and could tell it in his voice, next day, why were you drunk last night? I wasnt even in the house, i was on nights..

Funnilly enough, the piece of shit is probably in a hole somewhere drunk the piece of shit.
it was wierd, i had it a couple of times after my mum and dad "split" and I think even once after he died, nothing I could make out just the booming of his voice, which in itself was wierd as he wasn't really a huge shouter


When I was still in eight men rooms I once had a room mate who was probably suffering from PTSD or something. He had flashbacks during his sleep whenever we did something fun, interesting or stressful.
After exercise we could be sure that started bounding through the room, screaming while doing section drills or getting all panicked when his imaginary weapon had an irrepairable blockage. But the funniest one was when he did a crash move!
He would grab his duvet and make for the horizon (that's what he thought) and would slam headlong into the locker on the other side of the room. That would wake half the block up :)

He wouldn't remember anything in the morning but would be covered in strange bruises and abrasions...


Book Reviewer
We had a lad in the unit, who used to get up for a pee middle of the night, never made it to the loos but used to open a random locker, step inside and pee all over the inside, then head back to bed. He insisted he was sleep walking, but it was a damn good reason to have a lock on your locker and have a top bunk as he had been known to think lower bunks were urinals.



War Hero
Aged about 9 and living in Cyprus I once sleep-walked into the living room and pee'd in the huge onyx ashtray on the coffee table.

Parents and guests were stunned into silence.
I had a bout of sleepwalking after a tour of the desert paradise that is the gulf and walked in on my mate and his missus, sat on the end of the bed and told 'em to shut up as I was wathcing TV, then left. Woke up in the girlies block drying room at 3 in the morning in Mid Jan in only boxers, and a week later was found wondering round the sgts mess carpark by ord off who carted me off to the med centre. That was when the fun started...
Living in Erkelenz in Jormany in a 3rd floor flat, 2am there's a ring at the doorbell. Mum wakes up, dad not in bed so she thinks 'oh goody he's gone to answer it'. A few minutes later dad wanders in, in his shreddies and climbs back into bed. Mum asks 'who was at the door?', dad replies 'mmph grumble mumble me'! and promptly goes back to sleep.

Mum goes to living room, where some friends were staying over on sofa bed and asks 'who was at the door?'

They reply 'he was, in his underpants. But the door chain was on and the balcony door was open'

It appears to this day, that dad, under the influence of Myers rum, had climbed down 3 balconies, wandered round the front and rung the bell to be let back in!!
After a tour in Bogland staying at then girlfriends house on leave. One night I apparently get up, opened her wardrode then start trashing it. When she asks what I am doing I said something like looking for the weapons. Dont remember a thing about it when she told me in the morning.


I've experienced sleep paralysis before too... you're laying there with your eyes open but your not awake enough to control your body, it's like you're totally paralysed yet totally aware of your surroundings and it's quite frankly terrifying!

I've had that on occasion. Not pleasant at all.

I'm more of a sleep-swearer. The number of times I've woken up to find Mrs.Miner in a right grump with me. All due to me swearing at her in the middle of the night. Randon things from "**** off, I'm sleeping" to "Go **** yourself, you miserable ******* cow. ****!" No idea why I'm doing it. She doesn't get mad anymore as she knows I'm fast asleep when I do it.

It does mean I can now call her all sorts when I'm actually awake in bed pretending to sleep.:twisted:
i had a phase of being half a sleep, half awake. my eyes were open, my surroundings were a mix of reality and dream. mostly i thought somebody was in the room/flat/house and would go looking for that person. the latest one i did was get up and stare out the window. no idea why.

but i talk in my sleep a lot too. my gf was still awake reading when i turned to her, eyes open wide: "they're jumping out of the planes to put handcuffs on!"

the funniest thing is i talk to her like she's the daft one.
me: "hammers"
her: "what?"
me: "australia! elephants!.... GEDDIT!" *eyeroll*

oh yeah and i started the new year with a good old vomit mid sleepwalk in the middle of the bedroom. i didn't know what was going on or where i was until my gf put the light on "what the hell are you doing?". she was dreaming of waterfalls.
fecking vodka/rum/wine/champagne/etc

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