Sleep-pissing....

#1
Apparently after a mates stag night last night i woke up in the night, walked to the top of the stairs and started to piss down them............. thing is though i stopped at my birds moms who saw me standing there pissing down the stairs, naked, while looking in the mirror.

Must also add that i woke up in her brothers bed, also naked but thankfully alone. Her bro slept elsewhere.

Anyway, im still here, locked away upstairs. Her whole family are downstairs and im wondering if anyone has got a time machine i can borrow.


I do not remember any of this.
 
#3
You mate are a wrong 'un. Go downstairs, pretending your sleep walking and using your erect penis as a compass. Sit down with the family and start acting out a love scene with her brother. You'll never see them again, it doesn't matter, just do it with style and may they never forget.
 
#5
Using birds laptop. No escape, i have 2 kids with her.

She just found one of my shoe's in a bucket on top of a wardrobe.

Where's that hole...
 
#6
Ha ha ha ha ha !
This has cheered me up no end.Brilliant.

I can laugh,because I have did something similar.1984,Belfast,The Elbow Room,two female RUC constables.
I will not bore you with the details...............
 
#7
Not my first incident in this house. After her aunties funeral a few years ago i got plastered after it. Back at her moms house AGAIN i woke and pissed on the bedroom floor. My mrs lay me down to sleep in it as punnishment. I woke up next to a fat soaked kebab in my own piss.


There was another where i took my shoes off and went to my moms at 5am barefoot. My bro said i was taling to someone on the phone for about 20 mins outside, was pissing down. When i checked my call list i hadnt phoned no one or recieved a call at that time :?

Ill look back and laugh eventually.
 
#8
Post results party, woke up on the floor thinking it was raining.

Nope, it was the host sleep-pissing next to my face. In his own house.
 
#9
Swamping is the sport of kings, you appear to be sunday league, you need to grand slam to move up the ranks
 
#10
carlbcfc said:
Not my first incident in this house. After her aunties funeral a few years ago i got plastered after it. Back at her moms house AGAIN i woke and pissed on the bedroom floor. My mrs lay me down to sleep in it as punnishment. I woke up next to a fat soaked kebab in my own urine.


There was another where i took my shoes off and went to my moms at 5am barefoot. My bro said i was taling to someone on the phone for about 20 mins outside, was pissing down. When i checked my call list i hadnt phoned no one or recieved a call at that time :?

Ill look back and laugh eventually.
Did you finish it off?
 
#13
Sleep Pissing is a healthy young soldiers sport. Most have either done it, or been on the receiving end of it.

Many moons ago I woke up in the dead of night to the sound of a young chap urinating in my locker, one that I had stupidly left wide open. I'm only glad that he pointed it in the direction of my locker and not me. Now that is a TRUE story and the individual in question is a member of ARRSE, aren't you? :wink:
 
#14
Snob - I just p1ss the bed like a Big Boy!
 
#15
jarrod248 said:
longlivethequeen said:
or better still the mother then the brother
That would have been exceptional but then Dashing Chap might pop along soon and tell us he did that and the cleaning lady.
You missed the bit out about where he did his dad and mum at the same time. Oh, and he said it in a well posh voice too.

I've never actually lagged the bed, but I am very good at vomiting. Laptop, stairs, bedroom floor, kitchen sink, behind bushes - you name it, I've puked there.
 
#16
Never done the brother, only cuz he's ginger though. Never ate the kebab as it was all white and lardy. It was a weird wake up i tell ya.
 
#17
jarrod248 said:
carlbcfc said:
Never done the brother, only cuz he's ginger though. Never ate the kebab as it was all white and lardy. It was a weird wake up i tell ya.
fcuking lightweight.
Nowt wrong with gingers.

Carl, were you abused as a child?
 
#18
Smucking-FartARRSE said:
Sleep Pissing is a healthy young soldiers sport. Most have either done it, or been on the receiving end of it.

Many moons ago I woke up in the dead of night to the sound of a young chap urinating in my locker, one that I had stupidly left wide open. I'm only glad that he pointed it in the direction of my locker and not me. Now that is a TRUE story and the individual in question is a member of ARRSE, aren't you? :wink:
How many moons ago and where was the locker - just trying to work out if it was me :roll:
 

Trans-sane

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
jarrod248 said:
carlbcfc said:
Never done the brother, only cuz he's ginger though. Never ate the kebab as it was all white and lardy. It was a weird wake up i tell ya.
fcuking lightweight.
I would just like to point of that I don't have a second call sign. And that I have never lagged anywhere due to the sauce. Concussion on the other hand...
 

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