Discussion in 'Officers' started by Wargasm, Nov 3, 2005.

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  1. Doing a skit soon and going to use the old capbadge bashing humour - any good ideas for gags? Particularly interested in ones about the RLC, RA, REME and AGC.

    I know with those choices that there's plenty of ammunition but any outstanding ones you guys have heard over the years?

  2. The best skits are the topical ones, relevant to the audience - i.e. shared experiences etc.
  3. Bad CO

    Bad CO LE Admin Reviews Editor Gallery Guru

  4. Anything that takes the mick out of the audience...esp any of the more senior persons present. although beware this may go down badly if one of them has had a sense of humour removal recently.

    Little Britain is current.....i want that one!
  5. Becareful if the audience contain to many RA officers over the rank of capt. Once, about 11 years ago, whilst with 4th Regt, watched a funny skit done by a Capt (BK) and a WO2 BSM - at the COs and RSMs expense. 48 hrs later both skitters were posted. Some people take the piss all year with their management - But woa-bit-tide any one who dares to make a joke about them.
  6. Good point empire - the best skits usually take the urine out of the key personality's in the room but dont go too far, you'd be amazed how these can be taken the wrong way. You want to go to the edge otherwise it's not funny but tread carefully.
    I once told the ASM at the academy to sit up and stop slouching, it went down well and he didn't mind at all, luckily. On another occassion I took off a knobber of a Cav Capt who was basically quite incompetant - I was an ocdt bumbling around with my webbing on upside down and entertaining the room to great affect, however, I made a real enemy. He must have got a ragging back in the mess because from then on he went out of his way to give me a hard time!
    Don't make my mistake.

    Go for a scenario that allows the various people to be introduced, a game show is always a good setting with course relevant questions to the teams. Alternatively, a set of CO's orders...

    Good luck
  7. Cheers guys

    Not for a bit yet but will report back on how it goes....

  8. Suggestions for skits:

    - Keep it short. Nothing worse than dragging it out.

    - Any sensible person being skitted should take it in good humour. Anyone who can't take it is a tw*t. Even if it does go too far.

    - The ultimate insult is to make sure that everyone except the person you hate gets skitted. Better to have the piss ripped out of you, than to be completely ignored - it suggests that they have no personality traits at all, and are unworthy of the effort.

    Closest to the bone I've ever seen was my mate Joe at the TA version of the Factory (where I suspect you are), who went off-script to the point of "oh f**k, we're all dead" the last night of the course.

    We were the lucky platoon - DERR Pl Comd, RMP Pl Sgt, both outstanding blokes. Our unfortunate neighbours had a tall, athletic RRF CSgt who was an excellent instructor in lessons, but a screaming skull to absolutely everyone for everything the rest of the time (I never knew I had to fold the legs on the GPMG properly every time I jumped up and dashed forward two metres in Fire and Manoeuvre, but according the the very loud person immediately behind me I should have been doing just that. And going faster. Right now. You idle little man. No, faster. Call that three meters? Faster I said). I only had it for two minutes on the final exercise, they lived in fear for a fortnight. Anyway, our skit was based around the Lumberjack song, in which our intrepid Pl Comd discovered his wish to leave the DERR and join the RMP. To music, with accompaniment. (Yours truly got the lead singing role, the downside of being an ex-choirboy) the difficult thing being to find a red cap as a prop...

    Anyway, this is wedding night for said RRF CSgt screaming skull - he's excused the parade the next morning, because he's getting married that day. This is the last time we'll ever see him, and his platoon are smiling at the thought already. We'd got some joke presents for the staff - you know, some pretty beads for the Pl Comd, water pistol for the RAF officer, handcuffs for Uncle Billy the RMP. Comes the night of the performance, Joe is scheduled to do the gift-giving. What I hadn't mentioned is that both Joe and the RRF CSgt were black. Joe reorders the presents off-the-cuff, and presents the beads to said screaming skull with a presentation speech that had the rest of us going "f**k, he can't be saying that, can he" (this was the 1980s, and we were still doing a sharp intake of breath - Lord knows what the EO course would do with it taped as a teaching exercise), and the best bit was that the recipient was forced to sit there and smile throughout, without the ability to take revenge the next morning on parade. Joe wasn't in his platoon, so he couldn't even stiff his course report :)