sixteen year old torn between career and a woman

#1
hello this might seem like a random message...this is not a joke...i am starting phase 1 on sunday...me and my ex (we split because i said i wouldn't trust her when i went away)
please dont dismiss this "teenage love affair" as that...i am serious about her and i had severe cold feet before my oath ceremony today because i wanted to give us a chance. I then got a text saying that if i want to do this then she will stand by me. This was good because i honestly want a career in the army and i will do the best to not let this jeopardise my life.
What are my honest chances of being able to get eventual COs permission for marriage etc. because this is the moment where i can either jump head first into an army career with the person i love (eventually) at my side...or i can plunge into singledom but i feel this will upset me. I might sound very emotional and trying to act mature considering i'm 16 but i am willing to settle down with this girl she is special. Please be gentle although i realise there willl be a few light hearted comments...but i do need sound advice as to the feasibiltiy of this. Thanks HS2006 :(

This is not a wah
 
#2
Wouldn't it be a good idea to at least wait and see if she really is trustworthy while you're away?


Go and do your training, and forget about marriage for the time being.


Think of all the fun you'll miss if you get married now!
 
#3
yes my thoughts exactly about the training side of things...im talking a littl e in the future for the whole accompanied tour etc its purely that before we split we went through alot of shit (well considering im 16)...multiple pregnancy scares and until the trust issue came up i was honestly going to sign my life off to her...right after Her Majesty of course. In all seriosuness i was planning to have a relationship that would be "long distance" with her for my first few terms at Harrogate...then spring the idea of proposal in when i eventually get to blandford...but if its doomed anyway then as painful as its gonna be im willing to cut my losses for the sake of my career.
:roll: i hope im makin sense HS2006
 
#4
If you wont trust her when you're away then what are you building your relationship on? And telling her that was a diamond thing to do!! Women love that kind of line!!

Before you've started basic you're thinking of asking the CO for permision to marry! I'd say get your prioroties sorted. Basic, posting to where ever and then see if you want to be together. Chances are you'll drift despite how nice she seems now, you'll get pi$$ed up then meet some old low rent, second hand bint in the NAAFI, get her up the duff, get loved up with her and your life will be shite from then on!

Hey, didn't the recruiting Sgt tell you, girls are gagging for squaddies?
 
#5
:p hmmm well i suppose its just always been me. If someone doesn't tell me to do something i think of what to do and sometimes i look past whats at the end of my nose... thanks i just needed a second angle on it rather than my nan's "I was an army wife and i didn't mind" HS2006
 
#6
Sod her mate, we blokes get over things faster than you ever thought you would.

I got married at 18 in Germany - and a second time at 32, beware can go good or bad!
 
#7
I'm a year older so I can give some advice I think. If I were you I'd just use azn porn as a substitute for now.
 
#9
gingwarr said:
Chief_Joseph said:
I'm a year older so I can give some advice I think. If I were you I'd just use azn porn as a substitute for now.
Wossat?

I know ATM porn, BDSM, DVDA, TV/TS (bravo_bravo showed me), MILF, GILF, but I've not heard of AZN.

Am I missing out?
Perhaps he means ANZAC porn 8O , big burly Maoris dont do it for me, but hey, whatever gets you through the night. :wink:
 
#10
Mate, I have heard hundreds of young lads tell me that, at 17, they had found the girl for them and that this is not just a silly infatuation, and that they were not cnut struck because this girl was the first one that let them have a fumble. They then join their units, get down town and a rapidly up to their nuts in guts with all maner of "ladies". At 16 you really are to young to make such a life changing decision as this. In 2 years time you will be laughing to yourself wondering what you were thinking. Trust me on this one. Do the training, get to your unit and then see how you feel
 
#11
sandmanfez said:
gingwarr said:
Chief_Joseph said:
I'm a year older so I can give some advice I think. If I were you I'd just use azn porn as a substitute for now.
Wossat?

I know ATM porn, BDSM, DVDA, TV/TS (bravo_bravo showed me), MILF, GILF, but I've not heard of AZN.

Am I missing out?
Perhaps he means ANZAC porn 8O , big burly Maoris dont do it for me, but hey, whatever gets you through the night. :wink:
Think I have seen some of this - some little blonde being given a seeing to by an Ozzie WWII old hand, whilst a Kiwi Vietnam Vet fed her oatmeal biscuits.

Couldn't help but think that it was porn for a niche market.
 
#12
Look pal ,your going to hate this , but you are still a boy .You are at Harrogate so thats the proof. At 16 you have done nothing at all in
life , you need to get in the army , see a bit , do a bit , earn some real
cash .Dont make the old mistake because in a few weks/months
/years time , you will be kicking yourself . Dont ''buy the first car you see''
I know , because i got married at 18 . You are too young to be tied down .
 
#13
drain_sniffer said:
Mate, I have heard hundreds of young lads tell me that, at 17, they had found the girl for them and that this is not just a silly infatuation, and that they were not cnut struck because this girl was the first one that let them have a fumble. They then join their units, get down town and a rapidly up to their nuts in guts with all maner of "ladies". At 16 you really are to young to make such a life changing decision as this. In 2 years time you will be laughing to yourself wondering what you were thinking. Trust me on this one. Do the training, get to your unit and then see how you feel

Just how I'd have put it mate and it is the right advice. I made the mistake of joining up at 16 mate whilst in a relationship with a girl who I thought I loved more than anything. During my training at Pirbright I PVR'd - got out basically. Got back to civvy street with the said girl and within about 6 months it all went t1ts up and we finished. I felt a bit of a cnut after this and rejoined about 2 years later after a short period in the TA.
 
#14
As an army wife, you're expecting her to stand by you (and vice versa) for the rest of your life. If you don't expect her to be there for you now without lots of heartache and drama, what will it be like in 6 months, 5 years, 50 years? Solid foundations for a marriage include trust on both sides, but they take time to build.
Oh, and sort out some proper contraception...
 
#15
What you need to do is see if your relationship is going to last a few months of separation for starters. Now of course you are sure it will but just wait and see. Get some tours under your belt before you start thinking about marriage/kids, your outlook on life might have changed by that time. Again you might think not but it's very possible. You may well love her but do you want to grow old with her?, give it a little more time and you might be able to answer important questions like that. I hope all goes well for you.
 
#16
In answer to one of your questions:

You do not need to ask anyones permission before getting married. Those days are long gone.
 
#18
All good advice so far mate, 16 is waaay too young to think about settling down. By all means, keep the relationship going, but dont commit to anything yet. Your outlook on life is going to change drastically in the next few months, let alone years. I'm an old knacker now, but I do remember how painful it was being seperated from my girlfriend when I was 16, but its something you will learn to deal with.
Redbits advice on contraception is also well worth heeding. Not only do you not want to get your current girlfriend pregnant, but you're going to visit some exciting, exotic places and meet some extremely accommodating women, women who harbour exotic forms of knob-rot you've never even heard of.
Its no laughing matter when your little soldier turns green and swells to the size of a spacehopper.
 
#19
Maybe if you go for your career first, then if you can sustain your relationship through training (difficult) then you will be in a better position to consider marriage. If you dont trust her whilst you are away - it doesnt sound like you have the basis for a serious relationship, let alone marriage.

Speaking as an ex-Harrogate apprentice (72C), you will be far too busy to be worrying about the girl back home.
 
#20
some valid points so far,these people know what they are talking about.

the thing you need to realise is, tastes and attitudes change, 3 years ago you were completely different to what you are now... the things you like have changed and your attitude and knowledge has expanded, now thing about the future... in 3 years time you will be in the field army possibly abroad, 19 with a load of like minded young individuals. would she still be so keen then? would you want anything tying you down as you single handedly try to drink and shag your way around germany/cyprus/uk.

think about her too. in 3 years time she will change alot too, she might not wanna be abroad and change her whole life for you. (as much as she says she does now) she will have bigger boobs and the attention that goes with it. if you dont trust her now, wait untill your miles away and she tells you shes going out with nympho nina her best mate.

just think about it fella. army life is awesome. the lads you meet will always be there fo you and girls make up half of the worlds population so im sure you will meet some more.

go out with her by all means, just dont rush into anything. seen it happen way too many times.

EWK

ps. best bit of advice... when it seems like the whole world is caving in when you are in phase 2 training DO NOT marry the first thing that catches your fancy. it seems like a good idea at the time, but its not. so many lads have done it and regreted it. its even got its own name "the blandford bride syndrome"

enjoy your life.
 
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