Sir Elton John says Jesus was super-intelligent gay man

#1
In your own time... watch and shoot, watch and shoot :twisted:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8523538.stm

Sir Elton John says Jesus was super-intelligent gay man

Sir Elton John has claimed Jesus was a "super-intelligent gay man" in an interview with a US magazine.

The singer also told Parade Jesus was "compassionate", forgiving and "understood human problems".

A spokesman for the Church of England said: "Sir Elton's reflection that Jesus calls us all to love and forgive is one shared by all Christians."

"But insights into aspects of the historic person of Jesus are perhaps best left to the academics," he added.

Sir Elton said in the interview: "On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving.

"I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East - you're as good as dead," he added.

In the interview, the singer also said he did not like being a celebrity any more because "fame attracts lunatics".

"Princess Diana, Gianni Versace, John Lennon, Michael Jackson, all dead. Two of them shot outside their houses. None of this would have happened if they hadn't been famous. I never had a bodyguard, ever, until Gianni died," he said.

The full interview will be published on Parade's website on Friday.
 
#2
Obvious innit?

He was a fisherman (i.e. a matelot)

Few female friends.

Hung about with a dozen 'close male friends'.

Died in a bizarre S&M incident like all those gay blokes they find with a rope round their necks and a wedge of orange stuck in their gobs.

I happen to know for a fact that Jesus voted Labour too.
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
I never knew that Mr Elton Hercules John was a theologian. I suppose that you live and learn.
 
#4
I can't really see anyone other than certain sky pixie believers being to bothered.
 
#6
stacker1 said:
I can't really see anyone other than certain sky pixie believers being to bothered.
I know one bloke, who believes homosexuality to be a curable disease, who will be pacing the floor muttering 'Sodomites! Sodomites!' on reading this.

I'd have been more impressed if Elton had made comments about Mohammed and thereby entered this year's dead pool.
 
#7
Ancient_Mariner said:
I'd have been more impressed if Elton had made comments about Mohammed and thereby entered this year's dead pool.
Why? What's wrong with Mohammed...
 
#8
Markintime said:
It's ironic in a way. He mourns the fate of Versace and John Lennon then makes exactly the sort of comment that's likely to have a white, God-bothering Supremacist reaching for his 'Gay man's medicine' and loading up the .45s.
If they don't get him, Dan Brown will...
 
#10
Command_doh said:
Elton John is quite elderly right?

Must be the Alzheimers/crack/blow/poppers/booze/spunk backlog frazzling his brain and making him talk even more horsesh1t (from his horsey toupee?) than usual.
A twenty-five year association with Watford footy club probably didn't do too much for his sanity either.
 
#11
Command_doh said:
Elton John is quite elderly right?

Must be the Alzheimers/crack/blow/poppers/booze/spunk backlog frazzling his brain and making him talk even more horsesh1t (from his horsey toupee?) than usual.
Makes he rather like various Padres and Priests then (especially Catholic priests when it come to a spunk backlog).
 

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#13
stacker1 said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
I'd have been more impressed if Elton had made comments about Mohammed and thereby entered this year's dead pool.
Why? What's wrong with Mohammed...
Mohammed wasn't gay - he was a peadophile!

Given that there is no historical evidence that Jesus ever existed Sir Elton deciding that he was gay is as credible as anything else made up about him.
 
#14
BuggerAll said:
Mohammed wasn't gay - he was a peadophile!

Given that there is no historical evidence that Jesus ever existed Sir Elton deciding that he was gay is a credible as anything else made up about him.
Who's got Buggerall in the dead pool?

Two things though bumming a 9 year old probably wasn't looked on as kiddie fiddling. Up until 1860 the age of consent was 12 in the UK.

I can't remember where I read it but the Romans did record Jesus. (As a troublemaker not a gayer)
 
#15
Words of Wisdom,from rent boy shagging,rug-wearing Sir Reg Dwight? 8O

F*ck me,that'll be a first. :lol:
 
#16
BuggerAll said:
stacker1 said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
I'd have been more impressed if Elton had made comments about Mohammed and thereby entered this year's dead pool.
Why? What's wrong with Mohammed...
Mohammed wasn't gay - he was a peadophile!

Given that there is no historical evidence that Jesus ever existed Sir Elton deciding that he was gay is as credible as anything else made up about him.
I take it he shagged peas then did he?
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
Ancient_Mariner said:
Obvious innit?

He was a fisherman (i.e. a matelot)

Few female friends.

Hung about with a dozen 'close male friends'.

Died in a bizarre S&M incident like all those gay blokes they find with a rope round their necks and a wedge of orange stuck in their gobs.

I happen to know for a fact that Jesus voted Labour too.
Oh I don't know. He hung out with a prostitute didn't he?
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
stacker1 said:
BuggerAll said:
Mohammed wasn't gay - he was a peadophile!

Given that there is no historical evidence that Jesus ever existed Sir Elton deciding that he was gay is a credible as anything else made up about him.
Who's got Buggerall in the dead pool?

Two things though bumming a 9 year old probably wasn't looked on as kiddie fiddling. Up until 1860 the age of consent was 12 in the UK.

I can't remember where I read it but the Romans did record Jesus. (As a troublemaker not a gayer)
In the Bible maybe :D
 
#19
BuggerAll said:
stacker1 said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
I'd have been more impressed if Elton had made comments about Mohammed and thereby entered this year's dead pool.
Why? What's wrong with Mohammed...
Mohammed wasn't gay - he was a peadophile!

Given that there is no historical evidence that Jesus ever existed Sir Elton deciding that he was gay is as credible as anything else made up about him.
Fatwah on way as we speak :twisted: :twisted:
 
#20
stacker1 said:
I can't remember where I read it but the Romans did record Jesus. (As a troublemaker not a gayer)
Sort of. Was a chap called Titus Flavius Josephus, who was a Jewish quisling. Sort of 1st century Lord Hawhaw. Sterling chap... not. Commanded several thousand rebels of the Judean People's Front (or maybe it was the PFJ); got beaten by the Romans, most of his chaps killed; hid in a cave with forty survivors; found by the Romans; refused to surrender, and persuaded his mates to kill each other; then, as sole survivor, bottled out of suicide, surrendered, schmoozed general Titus, and ended up his pet propagandist. In short, "Splitter!"

Anyway... Josephus did mention Jesus, but to be fair it seems a dead cert that his copy was in later times subbed by a Christian monk, since we have no manuscripts from before the 11th or 12th century, and what Josephus has to say about Jesus is a tad, shall we say, fulsome and off-message from a 1st C Roman perspective. That said, probably not a complete fabrication by the monks; personally I think Josephus did mention Jesus in, at best, neutral terms which Brother Cadfael could not resist improving.
 

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