single parents

Discussion in 'Army Pay, Claims & JPA' started by theparenttrap1, Mar 1, 2004.

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  1. i would like some input or advice.
    after 20 years in the service my co and oc are going to apply for my discharge if i cannot go on tour .
    the trouble is i am a single parent now with no family back up near.
    does anyone have anythoughts or advice ??
  2. What support have you had from your Welfare Officer, AWS or SSAFA? if they all fail you report sick......claim distress and to be at your wits end and get yourself option is to get an older Civvie Doctor as they are likely to be more sympathetic to your case than a newly commissioned Trainee tosser. As for your CO and OC get a lawyer and get him to contact your units equal Opportunities Officer
  3. welfare dont think they would get away with it.
    aws think there is nothing they can do .
    doctor told me to go on tour or get out i decide .
  4. After 20 yrs, you should be old enough to realise that you have an obligation to the Army. You signed a contract and child care is your responsibility. The circumstances of why you are a single parent are irrelevant. You wouldn't get anymore from a civvy job.

    Would you be happy for someone else to be given your tour? Purely on the basis that they were either single or had a spouse to look after the sprogs? I think that your posts answer that.

    Imagine looking for a way out. Your happy enough to draw the wage. There are loads of people in Service who are in the same boat as you and they are professional enough to find childcare, why can't you? Or would it be easier for you to allow one of your colleagues to do your tour for you? Do you find that acceptable?
  5. QR1000 redress in the first instance - do not be dissuaded as it is your right. Get Social Services involved. Get your family to write to the papers to generate publicity - oops, I mean sit back helplessly as they write in outrage to the Mail, Sun etc as you can't be held responsible for what someone else says! Write to your MP and have a PQ asked. This is within your rights as a UK citizen and a member of the Armed Forces and this should at least hold things up. Padre is also a good POC, probably the best. Try an employment tribunal - it might work although they say these are only for sex/race discrimination cases - it worked for an RMP who had left the Service in the position you appear to be.

    If all of the above fails, you may be within sight of your 22 year point and the pension will be in the bag - it may take ages to resolve a redress and a PQ. You can't be deployed in your last year of service.

    It is a bloody disgrace the way we treat families. The Spams and NATO have full daycare centres. We expect to retain quality people and then mess them about and say "it's all your fault for having kids".
  6. So you feel that it's OK for someone else to do this individuals tour? Who's going to do it if he/she doesn't?
  7. So do we know if this is the first time it has happened? What about home circumstances? What if their spouse has died and they have no other family? Does the same scenario apply to a soldier with a long term "Back Problem" or the downgraded? Your answer is too simplistic Badass...... :(
  8. What about a live in au-pair ?? I know a few people that have had to do that !

    Single parent or not, you still have a commitment to the Army. If that means going on tour for 6 months then so be it.

    It may seem harsh, but I think it is in the Terms and Conditions of Service.

    Fully employable means just that :eek:
  9. Au-Pair is acceptable in a two-parent family for minimum periods..however the PC NAZI SS may take a dim view of a non relative carere looking after children for 6 months when it is likely that those that are just about affordable speak only enough English. A nanny also has the right to take time off. Please don't even be so ignorant to even mention foster or local authority care................
  10. LW, the individual says that they do have family, just none close enough. If he/she is on the next Telic, they've had plenty of time to prepare. Even I don't think that the mob would deploy someone who has suffered the recent loss of a spouse.

    How much do people want from the Army? Others have managed to do tours who were in the same boat. Somehow though, I get the feeling that the original poster is a wind up merchant as this topic would more than definately attract opposing (and strong) opinions.

    But in the event that it is a truthful post.......who should do his/her tour? Someone else because they were stupid enough to get married? Something has to give mate. Just how much do people want? If you were told that you were being deployed because a single parent couldn't get childcare........would you be so enthusiastic?

    Like I said though.....I think we're being wound up. Always suspicious of 1st time posters with topics like this. It's the kind of thing I do when I get bored goading Ex Dvr and his mates.
  11. Your quite right Badass... :oops: Emotion got the better of Judgement and offence intended :wink:
  12. None taken Old Man, none taken.
  13. The current terms and conditions do no-one any favours, particularly single parents and couples where both are serving (and liable for deployment). The Service plays up expectations for the benefit of the media and then places the onus on the individual. We all change over the course of our lives and start families - should we be retained as knowledgable and experienced seniors and officers, or discharged as liabilities because of family committments? There must be a better way of doing business. I would suggest weighting the pay and allowances system so those that bear the brunt of deployments get the lion's share of it. There should be the flexibility in the system to allow personnel to bring up families at some point in their career and remain in garrison. Otherwise, let's not beat about the bush - the military is not going to be supportive of family life, despite whatever image the corporate comms wasters want to portray, and despite the consequent outflow of knowledge and experience.
  14. Interesting question this, even if posted by a journo.

    This issue is by no means restricted to the military although the prospect of an Op tour makes it more extreme.

    I have worked in civie environments where a lot of resentment has been caused by parents assuming that non parents are happy to subsidise them with their time. I recall one individual that used to leave early to pick up a child from school and assume that we all thought that was OK. Hey, just because we are not parents, doesn't mean YOU can use OUR time. Just because you have a child, why should you be treated differently, sounds harsh, but look at it from the other side.

    To parenttrap - what do you think should happen? Some non-parent take your place? What about their partner? Have you taken a cut in pay cos you're non deployable?

    As for Reddress - what are you going to reddress? That you were treated like everyone else in your unit? An ET is a risk as well, especially if it is plain that you are using it to delay the situation ( not to mention the expense of lawyers), it might not go your way.

    You have to sort this yourself. Your CO /OC has other soldiers to think about who would rightly be aggrieved if you were given an exemption.
  15. You know the old saying " nothing 's new" well I recall in the 70's when op banner tours where coming out of our ying yang it was amazing just how many wives got pregnant and had complications, and hubby's cry was , " you know me I will go anytime but this time my family needs me "............anyway back to topic, as has been said very emotional topic. however Baddass quite rightly said even the mob isnt heartless enough to deploy someone who has just lost a mother/father out of the family circle, so, as I am led to believe single parents are allowed to join the army now, or if they got themselves pregnant whilst serving and it is now causing them proplems due to child care , well sorry suck it up or leave, but the army and non married childless personel cannot be used to cover this kind of thing.............. now if there is another more legitamate reason lets hear it , but I am with baddass here very very suspicious.