Two weeks before Xmas, a woman hears a knock on the door. She opens the door, but sees nobody. Just as she's shutting the door, she looks down and spots a snail. The snail looks at her and says. "Can you spare some food to get me through Christmas please, anything will help, lettuce leaf, cabbage leaf, any bit of veggie leaf or stalks." The woman disappears inside and the snail mentally rubbs his hands, metaphorically speaking. She comes back with a broom, shouts "piss off!" and swept the snail into the bushes. Christmas came and went, life moved on and two weeks after Easter, the woman hears a knock at the door. Nothing there, looks down and sees the snail looking up at her. It says. "That wasn't very charitable now, was it?" I did tell you it was silly.