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Silliest military related questions from civvies ever...

Kraut Hippy types in VW camper van: " Why are you here? Invading our country?"
432 driver : " To bayonet your babies!"
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
Seems like most of us have been asked did you kill / how many did you kill?

What was your best answer?
George MacDonald Fraser recommended "Why do you want to know?".

One chap, who was decorated for launching a devastating one-man revenge attack on the Germans after they killed his friend would respond "I sank a troopship".

My personal favourite is "Why do you want to be lied to?".
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
My Company was voluntold to do Edinburgh Castle Guard. Our resident Jnco joker known as Bob would wind up the Japanese tourists endlessly. Allegedly when asked what the writing in the stone arch above a gate said replied "mind your head" It was something in PW I was told.
 
On a tab down in Kent, with the SA80, a young kid we went past asked, "Are them real guns?"
In fairness, that's an entirely reasonable question.
 
My Company was voluntold to do Edinburgh Castle Guard. Our resident Jnco joker known as Bob would wind up the Japanese tourists endlessly. Allegedly when asked what the writing in the stone arch above a gate said replied "mind your head" It was something in PW I was told.
That one has done the rounds for decades.
 
This should be in the How Bone is Your Missus thread.
Might have been bone if she'd smashed her own camera.

On a slight tangent, me and a mate spent more than a few weeks living in the NAAFI quarters, which were out of bounds to all but NAAFI staff. We thought it was a secret but everybody, including all those on guard at the main gate knew about it.

We used to walk out to our waiting back-to-ship taxi at about half six in every morning, looking neither to the right nor left as if it was a completely normal thing to do, amazed that no-one pulled us or ever asked any questions.

It was months before we were told that everybody knew and nobody cared.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Might have been bone if she'd smashed her own camera.
So smashing her mate's camera is sane and normal ?

Ah, c/s explains.
 
I used to give a talk to primary school kids. One asked if I had killed any alien monsters.
 
That's actually a fair question and I asked the same myself as an SPSI because they did **** all and were a bag of shit.
I always assumed (I know, I know) that the SPSI were responsible for admin, training, helping the RSM on discipline, bringing Regular Army knowledge to the table and helping to improve the ethos of the unit they were attached to.

My bad.
 
I always assumed (I know, I know) that the SPSI were responsible for admin, training, helping the RSM on discipline, bringing Regular Army knowledge to the table and helping to improve the ethos of the unit they were attached to.

My bad.
As a SPSI you can attempt all of the above if the TA element are willing to embrace it.

However, from my experience, when you ask a TA female WO2 why she permitted the troops she was taking on parade to call her "Sir!" when affirming their names, and she replies"because they've always done it that way", then good luck.

It wasn't all bad though, I particularly liked being saluted by the TA when I was a WO2*.


* I was one of their WO2s at the time (regular RQMS at their unit).
 

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