Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Wayne_Kerr, Sep 18, 2002.
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1. You can get boots, all sizes, all of a sudden.
The medical services start getting priority to
1. fix broke squadies
2. Train and exercise in war role
You must be a nurse, note first post that is number one! and anyway I'm talking about soldiers signs not people who are so far back they send their washing forward. carry on men
True, and scary - we are suddenly getting all sorts of strange kit, like extra Combat95, Kipling Sets, etc. God knows what we'll do with em, though.
2. All ammunition is withdrawn from units, thus denying the Staff the chance to have a 9mm barn door hitting competition
- Ex Log Viper moving 'empty boxes' to Marchwood for 'training purposes'.
- Int briefs alongside morning muster parades..
- CSS exercises in Poland take on new significance....
3. The TA infantry suddenly start digging holes and wondering about time of work
- Ex Log Viper consists of more than 5 x 4 Tonners and a DROPS!
- CSS component briefs in TAMS are rapidly up-dated from the 1988 ammendments
- we get issued mobile phones in lieu of Bowman
- the inf practice digging trenches on the beach (or building sand castles depending on which regt is using the brain cell that week)
- Green Slime actually get out of bed in the morning
- SF briefed on how to get their expense claims right
- all 5* hotels booked up for the RAF (Baghdad Hilton surprisingly busy this time of year)
- Household Cav pack up their mess silver in a crate to move forward to their echelon, Prime Directive - London bolstered and Hammersmith nighclubs get busier
- Line Cav paint targets on their AFVs in the hope the Spams will F*** Off and hit something else for a change
- Maps with "Bomb Here", "Bad Guys", "Good Guys" and "Chinese Embassy" prepped by RE and sent to the Pentagon
- CGS dusts off his desert Cam
- Lt Gen Sir Prince of Darkness practices telling Spams to "F*** Off"
- Jubilee Medals go on general issue
- Mad scramble for Menu F
- SA80 ditched in favour of more useful wooden stick
- Apache's and warships loaned from the Dutch
- RN get out the grey paint and bunting
The CQMS has to take all the inners out of the company's body armour holdings and re-fit them into different outers. :'(
Actually this will probably happen twice, because the first set of outers delivered will be the wrong colour for where the unit is eventually sent!
You're TOLD the SA80 A2 actually works......
All leave for PARA bns cancelled.....so that they can back-fill Northern Ireland, and let the real Army go to have a scrap. (Sorry cherry-berets, no Afghan wedding parties to shoot up in Iraq)
Welsh soldiers told to swap pin-up pictures of sheep for pictures of camels, and invest in bigger sized wellies.
Large pieces of No. 4 sandpaper delivered to the map store.
All SF hoods told to shave off the Carlos Fandango moustaches lest the septics mistake them for Satan Hussein, and drop bombs on them....like they did last time!
Actually, the rifle does work. Standby for broadcast....
(And some rather nice photos! )
all the seniors that generally treat you like s**t start being really nice.
all the tankies and armoured infantry are put on crash diets so they can actually fit into their afv,s. :-X
everyone who joined after about 1990 goes sick, and writes to mum asking her to speak to someone about their human rights!
all guardsmen do absolutly nothing-whats the point-hardly ever get sent to a real job,and if someone messes up and actually sends them into a war they dont get far without lots of help anyway. :-[
Qm,s get very upset cos their actually expected to release equipment from their stores-it cheers them up though when someone comes up with the bright idea that if the soldier dies the army can always try to bill his familie. :'(
APWTs are taken seriously, without the usual cheeting.
NBC Instructors start struting around like they own the place as everyone is suddenly paying attention to their lessons. :
1. ITDs are actually completed instead of ticked off against the wall.
2. The Young Subbie stops getting all the sh*t "organise training jobs" so that they get done properly
3. Spare wheels for vehicle mysteriously turn up
4. Equipment that has been demanded finally arrives after being told there are no spares available
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