Evening chaps! I was stuck at one of those awful family Christmas parties the other day, a spoon of choc gateau in one hand & a glass of port in the other. I was desperately trying to become inebriated so as to drown out the cacophony of my elders & betters. My dear uncle, a fine man, had just finished informing me of his trip to the VallÃ©e de la Marne for the umpteenth time & then proceeded to entertain me by doing his rendition of the Spanish Flamenco, by clicking a spoon & fork together & then drumming them on his bald spot. It was amidst this scene of festive joy that I overheard mummy-dearest mention something to do with signet rings & about how every real gent she knew had one. My only real experience of signet rings was that they were preferable to Oscar Wilde & co, not necessarily a style for the discerning gent. I was about to inform mummy-dearest that it was all a load of rot when she named some of the chaps she knew who wore them, all of undisputed rank & status, so that I was obliged to reconsider my opinion. Not really being the type to dabble much in menâs jewellery, my only experience being that I once flogged knocked-off, gold plated tat to gullible sceptics on a 6 star cruise liner, I suppose I am not really in any position to make an accurate judgement. If it is true & signet rings are actually a gentâs must-have, then I may consider getting one myself, only so some of the elegant grace from my seniors may filter down through to my ambitious, yet humble & narrow shoulders. I am rather hesitant however, as I have always understood that rings worn on ones pinkie might suggest the more camp traits & perhaps send out the wrong signals. If I did get one is there a danger that I might be considered a comfortable-shoed chap My physiognomy displays quite fine & delicate features & I am not blessed with the more manly attributes of those rugby types, so I daresay it might make me look even less masculine than is already the case. I remain sirs, your most humble & loyal servant, &c. ~D.C.