Last night in the pub we had a "sickest original limerick in five minutes...go!" competition. You will no doubt be deliriously indifferent to learn that I, Cuddles romped home with this... The daughter of Doctors McCann Was stole by a man in a van She said to the baddie "Please sir, my name's Maddie Is arrse-sex part of your plan?" My question is surprisingly not "How great am I at pomes" but can you in five minutes or less come up with something as sick but yet strangely poetically correct?