Sick of the taste of haddock? Use a 'licking patch' - Bizarre new invention from DK

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Nov 4, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Have you ever wished that your wife/girlfriend/bird that you met at closing time's flange tasted less like a portion of clam chowder, and more like a Polo Mint (the mint with the hole :))?

    If so, you'll probably be very interested in the latest Danish idea; the 'Slikkelap' or licking patch. It's a piece of flavoured latex of about A6 size which is designed to be placed over her interesting bits while you give her a bit of a tongueing.


    Original article in Danish:

    Ekstra Bladet - Nyt kvindekondom: Slikkelap med mintsmag

    Google translate's version of the article:

    Google Translate

    Utterly, utterly bizarre........
  2. I wonder if they come/cum in any different flavours, e.g. newky brown or gorgonzola :)
  3. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    As a teenager I recall watching a 'better sex for mid life couples' video that I'd borrowed from my mate's mum's collection. In my naivety I thought it would be decent tugging material. I was wrong it was just an instructional video with two 40 something year olds smashing the fuck out of each other. One of the scenes dealt with the unpleasantness of going down on your skanking 45 year old wife and it recommended stretching a piece of clingfilm over her minge.
  4. New to the Danes maybe but not new. Seen these a few years ago during a health education lesson. The RAMC Sgt had all sorts of colours but I'm not sure about flavours.

    Some of the dames (see what I did there!) in the lesson were quite interested in the idea.

  5. A bit like eating a chocolate bar with the wrapper still on

  6. Just take it off the top of the sherry trifle for a bit of extra lube and flavour. Don't forget to put it back though, you wouldn't want bacteria to get on your cream and custard.
  7. Your Royal Belchiness,

    You may find that you are aiming for the wrong orifice.

  8. May be one for Jarrod!
  9. True!!

  10. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I'd suggest letting the corners melt a little before trying to stick that Toblerone up your clay pipe.
  11. I find the taste cinda lingus
  12. And also, the tin foil can be a bit irritating

    Er, is that Jarrod in the photo?
  13. I bet the 'teeth' would do a sovereign job on your piles if yanked down fast.
  14. Never mind all that,what is on the front cover of the magazine,botton left?
  15. if only they did haddock flavour it would be like the real thing without having to shave your tongue in the morning.