Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.[/I]
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. Every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice within himself, trying to reassure him: "Bob,don't worry about it.
You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go...."!
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Bob, you're a vet."
There was a shark swimming through the ocean when he see a squid that had been badly attacked, So he swims towards it. The squid had a leg missing, cuts all over and is really battered, The squid say " please don't eat me." the shark says " where about do you live?, I give you a lift home" The Squid slowly climbs on the sharks back and the shark slowly swims off. After about five minutes, the shark stops by a larger shark, throws the squid off and says " Here's that sick squid I owe you".
Three blokes get very drunk and head off home in the small hours. Next day they meet up in the pub. First one says, "I'm in real shit from last night, I got home, went to bed an lit a ciggie and set fire to the bed. The wife's not happy". Second one says "that's nothing, I drove home crashed the car and got arrested for drink driving".
The third one says, "Guys, that's nothing, I went home an blew chunks". The others laugh; puking up is nothing is it? To which the third guy replies;
A Rabbi is in court for having sex with a cat. However, the judge decides to let the rabbi go. The prosecution are livid. "Your honour, we have the evidence and witnesses" they claim. The Judge persists and asks "when was the last time you heard of a Jew putting anything in the kitty?"