Shut up, Alexa!

The_Duke

LE
Moderator
Hmmm, been aware of these things for a while, obviously. No way in hell would I have one.

Ok so ... There is a third party device in your home that listens to everything you say. Can anyone else see a potential problem there?
I have had one for quite a while now, located in the corner of the kitchen.

Apparently GCHQ have a huge file covering the details of my daughters' homework, why we are all too lazy to bring our own washing downstairs, that the sell by date on goods does not automatically equal throw them in the bin and endless discussions about what we should have for dinner. They have also profiled all occupants and confirmed that my daughters disagree between Little Mix and Ed Sheeran, my wife has a favourite soft rock channel and that my choice of music is met with "Alexa, off!" as soon as anyone else enters the room.

I am sure that they are fascinated, and have a huge team dedicated to handling such important snippets of security-critical information.
 
I have had one for quite a while now, located in the corner of the kitchen.

Apparently GCHQ have a huge file covering the details of my daughters' homework, why we are all too lazy to bring our own washing downstairs, that the sell by date on goods does not automatically equal throw them in the bin and endless discussions about what we should have for dinner. They have also profiled all occupants and confirmed that my daughters disagree between Little Mix and Ed Sheeran, my wife has a favourite soft rock channel and that my choice of music is met with "Alexa, off!" as soon as anyone else enters the room.

I am sure that they are fascinated, and have a huge team dedicated to handling such important snippets of security-critical information.
Indeed and agreed.

However [tinfoilhat]
"Did you fuck that 14year old?" (Call of duty online gaming).
"Where did you bury her body and was there a lot of blood?" (Tiddles the cat passes away).[/tinfoilhat]

I'd rather not have one to be honest. It is a tech-fad.
 

The_Duke

LE
Moderator
Indeed and agreed.

However [tinfoilhat]
"Did you **** that 14year old?" (Call of duty online gaming).
"Where did you bury her body and was there a lot of blood?" (Tiddles the cat passes away).[/tinfoilhat]

I'd rather not have one to be honest. It is a tech-fad.
It is ok - it has a sophisticated algorithm that would have monitored your instructions on the purchase of cat food and booking vet appointments and produced the necessary probability matrix.

Or something.
 
I have had one for quite a while now, located in the corner of the kitchen.

Apparently GCHQ have a huge file covering the details of my daughters' homework, why we are all too lazy to bring our own washing downstairs, that the sell by date on goods does not automatically equal throw them in the bin and endless discussions about what we should have for dinner. They have also profiled all occupants and confirmed that my daughters disagree between Little Mix and Ed Sheeran, my wife has a favourite soft rock channel and that my choice of music is met with "Alexa, off!" as soon as anyone else enters the room.

I am sure that they are fascinated, and have a huge team dedicated to handling such important snippets of security-critical information.
Well, the good news is that I don't need bother buying one of these devices. All they need do is clone the output of yours, and they've got my kitchen conversation pretty well down pat.
 
Wonder what the MoD's p.o.v. is on these devices in barracks/quarters? Obviously they're harmless and no one at all can hack them to eavesdrop so presumably they're good for all. Yes?
By all accounts, the MoD has authorised the use of these devices with the strict proviso that they are wrapped in tinfoil when people are in the same building. At Staff level, they have to be tinfoiled, completely encased in the centre of a one metre sandbag cube and placed in an underground storage facility in a separate building until all staff officers have gone home.

Even the MoD are embracing new technology these days.
 

The_Duke

LE
Moderator
By all accounts, the MoD has authorised the use of these devices with the strict proviso that they are wrapped in tinfoil when people are in the same building. At Staff level, they have to be tinfoiled, completely encased in the centre of a one metre sandbag cube and placed in an underground storage facility in a separate building until all staff officers have gone home.

Even the MoD are embracing new technology these days.
Nope, entirely wrong. Alexa is placed in the open, unshielded.

Why? Alexa is used in MOD Main building, Abbey Wood etc as a form of DoS attack on belligerent powers. Alexa records and transmits such a huge volume of waffle, bullshit, arrsekissing and pseudo-business speak that China cannot process their "deltas" from their "synergies" and their intelligence services grind to a halt.
 

Helm

MIA
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Nope, entirely wrong. Alexa is placed in the open, unshielded.

Why? Alexa is used in MOD Main building, Abbey Wood etc as a form of DoS attack on belligerent powers. Alexa records and transmits such a huge volume of waffle, bullshit, arrsekissing and pseudo-business speak that China cannot process their "deltas" from their "synergies" and their intelligence services grind to a halt.
It's posts like this that make me want an "informative. . . snigger" button
 
Hmmm, been aware of these things for a while, obviously. No way in hell would I have one.

Ok so ... There is a third party device in your home that listens to everything you say. Can anyone else see a potential problem there?
Just for shits and giggles, here you'll find all the 'keywords' that 'they' are looking for.....

The List Of Carnivore And Eschelon Keywords

So if you want to wind up GCHQ, Echelon and the NSA etc, off you go!
 
As it happens fella, I make my own tea, as for respect, that has to be earned, and is not a right by dint of age, the only people that I expect respect from are my offspring, and my grandchildren, every one else is immaterial, I respect all people, and talk and treat them as I would wish to be treated. These forums and threads lead them selves to strong language, back stabbing and general robust slanging matches, respect is for the most part, non existent. and in the long run, IDGAF.
Fella!.PNG


Ooooh get you
 

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