Shut up, Alexa!

#1
Has Alexa ever said something unbidden? Happened to me yesterday, in house on my own, deathly silence, I'm concentrating on some reference book when Alexa suddenly boomed out something or other, totally unexpected, to say i nearly shat myself is almost an understatement, feckin heart rate went off the scale.
Silly cow.
 
#6
Sorry mate, been AWOL for a while, straight over the old toupe that one.
 
#7
A consumer electronics product that no one needs that prevents lazy sods like me stirring my arse from the chair to put a record on the turntable, you just shout out the music that you want and by a miracle of modern science it plays it for you.
 
#10
Has Alexa ever said something unbidden? Happened to me yesterday, in house on my own, deathly silence, I'm concentrating on some reference book when Alexa suddenly boomed out something or other, totally unexpected, to say i nearly shat myself is almost an understatement, feckin heart rate went off the scale.
Silly cow.
Due to her moaning about volume/choice, we seldom have the radio on in the car.
On a couple of occasions I've hit the button on the steering wheel that prompts the voice command to ask you what you want. Every time it's been quickly followed by a feminine "AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!"
 
#12
My google assistant answers to "Wikibitch". She sometimes pipes up unexpectedly, gets told to shut up, then apologises.

My first smartphone, pre android, had a satnav. When she told me to turn around, I said "shut up bitch", she then dialled my mother!

The kids still remind me of this.
 
#13
As if bossy sat-nav voices weren't enough. :(
No surprise that it has a female name and voice, then, really.

By the by, we have much drunken fun with my mate's one. If you swear at it or ask it questions about "naughty" things it turns out that the thing actually has a sense of humour and comes installed with a catalogue of pithy, vaguely sarcastic, witty come-backs.

I suspect that they got Sluggy to voice it...
 
#14
My Alexa and now Siri spark off when the fvcking adverts for them come on TV. Some wanker in the add says “Hey Alexa” and my bloody thing starts talking to the TV.
I just leave the room and let them have a natter, it’s rude to eavesdrop.
 
#16
My Alexa and now Siri spark off when the fvcking adverts for them come on TV. Some ****** in the add says “Hey Alexa” and my bloody thing starts talking to the TV.
I just leave the room and let them have a natter, it’s rude to eavesdrop.
But do they go 'Shhh' and start giggling when you come back into the room?
They're up to something.
 
#19
Recently there was an incident in Germany where Alexa went ballistic in the absence of the owner and played music at mega db levels. The tenant returned to his flat to find that the door had been smashed in and a notice on it explained briefly what had happened, somebody else in the neighbouring flat had suffered a sense of humour failure and reacted accordingly.
Apparently Amazon agreed to pay the costs of getting the door and lock replaced.
 
#20
Recently there was an incident in Germany where Alexa went ballistic in the absence of the owner and played music at mega db levels. The tenant returned to his flat to find that the door had been smashed in and a notice on it explained briefly what had happened, somebody else in the neighbouring flat had suffered a sense of humour failure and reacted accordingly.
Apparently Amazon agreed to pay the costs of getting the door and lock replaced.

Why would you leave this item on in an empty property?, not owning one, or ever likely to, this is one invention that serves no useful purpose, in that it turns lard arses into morbidly obese, heart attack victims at about 45 years old. There's labour saving devices, and there's those that attract trendy " Look at me, what I can afford, dick heads" fashion victims. clones, all trying to be different, and all looking, dressing and speaking the same, hipsters come to mind.
 

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