Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by revmodes, Nov 9, 2011.

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  1. Now here's the problem, my issued longjohns (circa 1966) have served me well as cut down underpants, as you all know you only
    need 2 pairs of shreddies, a week one way out followed by a week inside out, and you are good for a month or a little bit longer if
    you are abroad, Benidorm or Salou.

    Now mine have reached the end of their days, bleached to death and i have also used all of the 45 darning and sewing kits that i
    aqcuired on my leaving, so repairing them any further is out.

    So i took myself down town in search of replacements, well fercking baffled, mens briefs, with or without keyhole, boxers, slips
    thongs, button fly, no fly, lurex, spandex, cotton!!.

    Anyway i grabbed a dozen or so packages of different styles, why the ferk they put 3 or 5 or 7 in a pack i don't know? you know we only need 2
    pairs. I gets stripped off in the cubicle and try some on, bloody hell those thongs fercking hurt, the boxers? well my nuts were a
    dangling, none of the different versions were any good at containment in the jump up and down test, bits clashing and banging together
    bloody painful.
    Next thing there is a lot of banging on the door, bloody security woman "what you doing in there?"
    I opened up , forgetting i had ferck all on at this stage, she screamed blue murder, and booted me in the dangly bits,made me pay

    So what's the Arrse solution? boxers, commando, plenty of thongs out there eh eh nudge nudge, failing that i can raise a couple
    of quid if anyone has a pair or two of longjohns for the use of.

    for all 42 pairs of shreddies i had opened to try on, health and safety
  2. What the fcuk has that got to do with breakfast food?
  3. i just knew that i would get a bite.......wah
  4. It's a bit late now, but if you'd also reversed your cut-down long johns, you could have had twice the wear out of them. It's the washing that ruins them, so that's best avoided.

    When you get your replacements, you could use that new washing liquid. You don't need a washing machine and you'll save a fortune on hot water. Febreeze, i think it's called.

    Don't forget to cut off the rubber button when you ditch your shreddies. They're a bastard to get replacements for.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. I might have some WRAC long johns in my diffies room. Ish.

    (I handed everything in - remember.....)
  6. I favour a gourd, get yourself a decent one and it'll last a lifetime.

    View attachment 55001
  7. Starched. Yeah...
  8. From your spit.

    A big boy wrote that and ran away, Sir.

    Would you like some? Would you like some of this?
    Dale does the "Come On" sign that is internashul.

  9. Interesting idea but does not look comfortable. Can you get gourds thicker and a bit longer??
  10. Well when you have testicles the size of chicken eggs, Breifs are the only thing that support comfortably without 'em slapping about all day, gives me sweat rash in the summer mind, still swings and roundabouts.
  11. Freeball - eversince I rocked up to the RAP as a young dig with a bit of jock rash and the RMO said "turf 'em dig", never looked back. Oh, the missus is always shitfaced when we go out, no sense of humour that woman.
  12. Why? Do you not wear tweeds when you go out? Or do you go to order dinner at a flash resturaunt with a nut poking out?
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Shreddies are meant to be worn on the head with a pencil in each nostril to accentuate the look.

    As for the trouser area, real men go commando. Does make social intercourse after following through a bit challenging though.
  14. I go commando it has it's advantages get to dangle free and your hygine improves as you make sure you get rid of the brown bum sauce as you dont want gravy stains on the inside of the trousers. Only thing is make sure you get rid of the dribbles after a slash as if it gets on your trousers you might end up smelling like a tramp after a day or two
  15. Bet your mommy is no worried if you get run over by a bus.