showering differences

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by best_behaviour, Aug 13, 2005.

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  1. Well i was ordered to post in forums last here goes. :roll:
    I wasn't sure if this was an appropriate place to post but i'm sure it'll provoke some comment :D

    Showering Differences:

    How to Shower Like a Woman

    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to lights and darks.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit- ups.

    4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

    5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    10. Complain because your husband had been eating your ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    11. Rinse conditioner off hair.

    12. Shave armpits and legs.

    13. Turn off shower.

    14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with super strength cleaner.

    15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.

    17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    18. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man

    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake cock at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your cock and scratch your arse.

    4. Get in the shower.

    5. Wash your face.

    6. Wash your armpits.

    7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

    9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    10. Wash your arse, leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.

    11. Shampoo your hair.

    12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    13. Make a Shampoo Mohican.

    14. Pee.

    15. Rinse off and get out of shower.

    16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of the bath the whole time.

    17. Admire cock size in mirror again.

    18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake your cock at her and make the ''woo- woo' sound again.

    20. Throw wet towel on bed.
  2. That is shite, tired old joke. Next!
  3. ctrl A, ctrl C, ctrl V

    See, now everyone knows how to cut and paste!
  4. Well done best!!!! About time!!!
  5. Excellent!

    "13. Make a Shampoo Mohican."

  6. It doesn't mention squatting over a mirror, peering at your crimper and masturbating.