should Xmas be banned

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by thepig, Dec 14, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Should Xmas be banned or should we all just get pissed
  2. Yes. Out.
  3. It's all for a p1ss up.
  4. think i need a new liver. Chianti is still oozing out the pores along with lager, brandy and whisky.

    how long to go before i feel like work again. Sorry just swore then, better take the day offf for another round of drinks
  5. Well of course X-mas should be banned.

    It is called CHRISTmas for a reason you know.

    Fecking heathen pagan. I am outraged and call a fatwah* on you for insulting my faith.

    *Fat wah? Or should it be phat waaah?
  6. Some of us don't require Christmas as an excuse to get pissed :)
  7. Don't think it will be much longer before the tree-hugging-tofu munching-sandal wearing-bicycle riding-bean flicking-lefties will have banned it for us anyway... or at least removed any mention of christianity from Christmas

    'Sorry you can't use the letters CHRIST incase we offend any non-christians' ....'Oh and the Letters MAS have to go as well as they sound like MASS and thats a christian religious ceremony'

    May as well just get pi55ed, wrap a teatowel around our heads and bare our ar5es to HM during her speech whilst waving around one of the kids toy AK's in the air...

    ..mind you that didn't go down too well with the mother-in-law last year so time for something else....maybe painting myself blue and dancing naked around a burning Xmas tree whilst sacrificing one of her cats to Satan during 'Noel Edmunds Christmas presents'
  8. very true. dont need an excuse but it gets me away from the missus to chat up some decent burds.

    mind you the one the other nite was awrite until the 7th or 8th pint and the goggles misted up. she was a complete howleer
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Ban it I say - by all means have an end-of-year festival, with fine wine, food, jolly things hanging around the house, and celebrate New year as normal. As for this religious b0llocks - the cnut wasn't born at xmas, and nor did he die on that date. In fact, 25th December has got precisely fcuk all to do with the geezer.

    It is a pagan festival that has been hijacked by these dress-wearing, kiddy-fiddling, witch-burning, Inquisitioning, stone-age motherfcukers.
  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Fear not. We are currently involved in a leveraged buy-out of Santa Heavy Industries BVD.

    There will be a few changes.

    Santas little helpers will be downsized and replaced by some large chaps in our employ. You can stick your glass of ginger wine and a mince pie left out on the mantlepiece. Instead please leave your credit cards and PRINT YOUR PIN CAREFULLY.

    "Ho Ho Ho" is a silly thing for a grown man to shout. It will be replaced with "Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt".

    Turkey will be replaced with Santas Over Ready Gibbon, to help the starving in Africa and spare is all the whining Geldof swearing in front of our Mums on Christmas day. Santas Over Ready Gibbon does not require stuffing. It is already full.
  11. Ban chrismas - may as well. We've got fcuk all left that is worth celebrating. May as well fcuk off down the pub and get leathered on wine. Oops, is;nt wine what the big fella drank at the last supper - best stick to lager then. Whose round is it....fcuk i dont even know what day it is
  12. Fcuk it when were pissed who cares. its they're round
  13. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    Can I make a decision when my hangover lifts?
  14. I'm all for banning christmas, But we would'nt get christmas leave. Can we not settle on an AARSE Jihad, to kill the laughing, coke drinking jolly fat barsteward?
  15. hangover. not got one yet. still pissed i think. OOOHHHHH that hurts. Must stop thinking - not good for me.

    think i will close the office and go to the offie for some buck fast and super strength lager