Should I give my wife complete control over my genitals?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Miner, Mar 5, 2010.

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  1. Damn no! Are you a closet hermer? Get a grip man.

    17.3%
  2. Hell yes! You can knock the kids out with Calpol, and surf online porn all day.

    82.7%

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  1. Mods please move if this in the incorrect forum.

    Right then, I'm in a dilemma, and I need my fellow ARRSEr's to help me out.

    A few background details first. I'm 34 in a few days, I've worked in the building trade (sales & estimating) since I left school 16yrs ago, I have no formal qualifications apart from respectable GCSE's and A-Levels (I never wanted to go to Uni, but wish I had now), and my wife gave birth to twin boys a few months ago. My wife is a comprehensive school teacher and deputy head of the department she works in. She also earns nearly half as much again as me. The company I work for, as like many others is struggling in the current recession, so my job is not exactly rock solid. My workplace is also 45 miles away from where I work, which means I won't get to see much of my boys during the working week as they'll be asleep by the time I get home, and I spend £300 a month on petrol.

    Now, my wife's maternity leave will finish in August, ready for her to go back to teaching in September. Tonight, she has suggested I give up work and become a house-husband, to save on child care costs.

    So, should I pack in my job which I hate anyway to look after my boys? Which would also mean doing all the house work, and becoming the bitch in my relationship with my wife.
    Although, on the plus side, I get to spend time with my boys and ensure they don't grow up being liberal, tree hugging lefties like my wife. I don't think watching Jeremy Kyle is compulsary, but I'm prepared to take one for the team on that one.

    Do I give my wife complete control over my genitals, or should I remain a man and stay in work?
     
  2. Do it, do it NOW!

    You get to hang out with all the yummy mummies and their sexy friends and bring your kids up in the way YOU not she wants.

    Hell, I'd kidnap kids to get the sort of action 'housedads' get by the school gate and down the leisure centre... except in Portugal, that one didn't quite work out...
     
  3. Join Rear Party but don't forget to hand your balls into the Q on your way out.
     
  4. Jeremy Kyle is the funniest thing on tv, though it's not probably intended as such...

    Avoid mother and toddler groups, you will greeted with frosty reception there mate.

    My mate did the househusband thing, his wife has crippling depression and the child took advantage of that til he stayed home, it works really well for them and he gets to play online games for much of the day :mrgreen:

    She's a TEACHER ffs, you owe it to your kids to protect them....no honestly, you do. I got friends who are teachers..fekk me, that kid at 2 runs rings round them while they sit there with inane grins on their faces marvelling at how their kid has 'choices'. Mine gets two choices...do as I say or I knock you into next week :twisted:
     
  5. A million reasons to do it. Kids is the best of all.

    Make sure you get yourself an on-line business/hobby (eBay?) that you can make some money out of.

    Good luck - am incredibly jealous that you have such a great opportunity.
     
  6. I would seriously think about it, at least for the short term

    One thing to consider is self employment, working from home. You can then tailor your hours and workload around looking after sprogs and making sure they play with guns and get dirty etc. Sales and estimating sounds like something you can do from behind a computer at home.

    Im self employed and work from home. Not a house husband though(no kids...yet) and can say it has its perks...no f*cking commuting is one of the best!

    Of course you need to look at the financial side to see if you can afford it. Also spending all day at home can send you stir crazy after a while, so i suggest getting out from time to time. Go and loiter in the park with your kids, they will be a cracking fanny magnet!...actually best not do that...
     
  7. Wimmin just LOVE it when their bloke does his share of the housework; this appreciation is often expressed with lots of the other (you seem to have got the hang of that bit :D )

    Seriously, it sounds like a win-win for everyone; the kids will grow up like lightning regardless, and when they're grown, you're not going to think 'I'm really glad I spent so much of their formative years commuting to and from a job I hated'
     
  8. Just hand in your cock at the door of the man club on your way out.
     
  9. As a potential "chick with a dick", shouldn't you be posting this on Rear Party?
     
  10. WHAT ABOUT A COMPROMISE?

    How about your wife getting a 0.6 contract, and you working when she's home. That's what me and mrs stainmaster opted for when we had our first nipper.

    I work three days a week in my salaried permanent job, the other two are spent doing property maintenance work as a sole trader, supply teaching or 1-1 tuition, or being dad if my wife has contract work.

    Variety is the spice of life! I spend a lot of the summer at the beach with my daughter and yummy mummies. Maximum guilt-free tan-topping, milf blimping, fish-catching liesure on the days that my lady is earning.
    You also gain a bit of non-taxable allowance if you both work.
    It may sound a bit 'californian', but it feels good to have found an alternative route that works for you, and not to have just done what is expected. We are both happy people, seeing our daughter grow up, but not atrophying at home and becoming de-skilled.

    Try it.
     
  11. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    Fcuk me man, do it! In the same boat I would be biting her hand off to agree. I could write my memoirs, play Xbox and Total War games online, plot the downfall of the unelected buffoon in charge of our country and plan complicated Internet frauds/419 scams.
     
  12. I hope you like hard work because bringing up twin boys well, will be one of the hardest things you ever take on! If most of your pay is either going to be spent on petrol or childcare why not make the sensible financial decision.
    If you were serious about uni then you could enrol in the OU or at your local Uni, almost all universities have crèches for the time you need to be in lectures.
    Bringing up kids to be decent adults is probably the most important job anyone could do and one which is, unfortunately, seldom done properly these days. You'll also get to keep your fitness up as they find their feet.
    Being a house-husband could open up a whole new world for you and could be almost as life affirming as having children is in the first place.
    Plus you also get to turn your wife down for sex because you're exhausted after looking after the boys all day. Mind you, if you feel randy you have the benefit that she can't say no because she's exhausted after looking after the boys all day!


    However, this is the NAAFI so hand your dick in at the door.
     
  13. My wife is just about to find out what housework and child rearing is all about the bitch
     
  14. You gave your wife complete control over your genitals the moment you said, "I do".

    Accept your fate and become a Kept Man. It's great and a fantastic amount of fun.

    If it wasn't then women would have been clamouring to go back to work a long time before the Suffragettes.
     
  15. what he said. lucky fecker