:: Should I employ a skiffer ? ::

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 58_Pattern, Sep 7, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I am interviewing this afternoon and after going thru' loads of CV's that HR (Human Remains) sent to me have shortlisted 3 folk for a 45 minute interview. I confess that one candidate has got an interview purely because he stated that outside work he enjoys 'skiffing' to keep fit. I nearly fell of my chair laughing. I googled skiffing and there was the squaddie type skiffing and also the wooden boat type skiffing. I am tempted to employ this chap purely as I want to ask him in an open office if he was skiffing at the weekend. There a few retired squaddies who would find it so funny. I know @ the interview I should be asking him what he will bring to the position, experience etc. However towards the end I want to ask him "So how did you get into Skiffing ? I would encourage him to attract new Skiffers and would love to see "New Skiffers wanted " on our company intranet under Employee Leisure & Sports club.

    What shall I do ?
  2. Always adds a laugh to most offices however civvies do not normally like the hobby of skiffing!! I say employer the Skiffer!!
  3. You got to give him the job. Comedy value alone has got to be worth something
  4. I vote he should be employed for the position!
  5. Yep thats exactly what I thought. Comedy value & fun are important to team dynamics in any organisation. He has the job. Who needs recruitment consultants and agencies to trawl for new staff when ARRSE has a ready made panel of recruitment experts.

    Cheers guys
  6. From;


    "......photosynthesis rate was similar and was highest for both clones during the first year and then decreasing the rates subsequently. Leaf area index increased up to 2nd year in TRI-2025 and up to 3rd year in DT-1 after pruning and reduced thereafter. Yield increased after pruning, and reached to a maximum at 2nd year for TRI-2025 and at 2nd and 3rd year for DT-1 after pruning. Thereafter, gradual decline in yield was observed for both clones. However, the productivity of TRI-2025 was greater across all years from pruning compared to DT-1. This may be attributed to the production of higher percentage of shoots per unit area, faster shoot growth, and larger shoot sizes with greater inter-nodal length compared to DT-1. Light skiffing at the 5th year after pruning enhanced the productivity by 42%."

    Well there you have it. Get him in to do some light skiffing and your productivity will rise.
  7. in the interview get him to show the action he uses when skiffing
  8. If you don't employ him, send his CV to me , I need more Skiffers for a project involving politicians
  9. I think every office should have a resident skiffer, employed for no other reason than to smear the top lips of the unwary. It would ensure everyone stays alert and add an air of excitement to any meeting.

    For dramatic effect he could be dressed in a black cloak, with mask and a large brimmed hat (a la Zorro), and referred to as the phantom skiffer.

    Either that or you start running skiffing competitions amongst the staff, with prizes awarded for the most daring skiffs against high profile targets (directors, the MD, visiting dignitaries &c). At the very least you should interview this chap and make it quite clear what you think of his scatological activities and that it is not the sort of thing he should be putting on his CV.

    From an etymological point of view, how do you get from 'a small flat-bottomed open boat with a pointed bow and square stern' to smearing faeces on someone's face?