Just spent 2 weeks with my girlfriend before i go off to join my battallion, spent a lot of it going to visit relatives therefore a lot of time was spent in the car. Radio blaring everywhere we went and the missus decides she likes that song BANG BANG YOUR DEAD.

Fast forward to half an hour ago, imagine the scene, I'm travelling to camp listening to the radio, my phone goes, it's the split ass "Turn to (named) radio station, I've just rung up and dedicated a song to you" phone cuts off, so I do what I'm told. I wait until finally the voice of the presenter booms - "and now a request come in from *** from *** who's boyfriend *** is going away to *** for * months, she loves you and will miss you like crazy, and this is for you... bang bang you're dead".

Now, maybe I'm being paranoid, but is this her sending me a subliminal message? or do I have to face the prospect that indeed my girlfriend is dumber than your average blonde and is a dozy bint with whom I have to spend the rest of my days trying to explain why the sky is blue, or that yes... the sun in Ibiza is the same as the sun in UK??


Sorry had to get that off my chest.
I honestly don't believe that you are been paranoid mate. The crux of the matter here is that your lass is a 2 bit 'ho and even before your boots touch down in foreign climes she will have already gorged to bursting point on the sweet, salty cum of 18 year old, souped up Nova driving chav wankers.
The only bonus in this sad state of affairs is that by the time you return she will be a grand master in the art of ATM and double fisting. The fact that she may be pregnant with a mixed race child will only add to your home-coming joy.
Okay you don't want them too clever..... but how dim?
I haven't stopped laughing yet.... If she was any denser light would bend round her...
last time, in her defence stayed glued to her computer 24/7 waiting for me to ping up on msn, whilst downloading porn and flicking her bean in the meantime. this time however, the net access is limited, so i think i may have to come to terms with the fact that she is indeed planning my demise. can anyone point me in the direction of any sites with hos gagging for squaddie c**k??

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