Should 49 PARA be brought into the line?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Bravo2nothing, Aug 10, 2006.

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  1. My question (which is half serious and half not) is should 49Para be brought into the Line or should we just form a Para Military Unit and take the Country over Oliver Cromwell Stylee. Just until Phony Tony and his muckers have f ucked off somewhere?

    Can't be any worse then it is now. I'm free next weekend - any takers?
     
  2. I have a black widow catapault and some ball bearings ....... do we get paid a pound of beef a day and 8 pints of ale? If so I am in :)


    J
     
  3. Don't be daft 49 Para has been beyond the line since 1632 - you obviously don't have the security clearance to talk about such a fine body of men.
     
  4. Well my time in Nam and MI6 should have been enough......?

    I've got a couple of drain pipes and some old rockets from fireworks night, we could make a Blue Peter Milan?
     
  5. Nam and MI6 come on!!!

    MI6 back room boys did you do time with MI9 to?
     
  6. I'll supply the tea and biccies on saturday, as long as someone else can provide the waistlines and uniform with all of our numerous achievements sown on.
    After we've saved the world can we sit around discussing the new Andy Mctw@ book and how we'd kill a large, ferocious animal armed with nothing but Lynx roll on deodorant, a small houseplant and a tumbler of tap water? After tabbing across half of eastern europe with twice our bodyweight, of course.
     
  7. I must state now that I never had the honour of serving with 49 Para (rejected due to too slim a waistline which would have blown my operational cover immediately) But I recall one incident when serving abroad.

    Most of my colleagues were on career enhancing SO3 jobs in BAOR while I had been selected due a confusion with someone of a similar name for a post as SO3 Jolly Important Things in a far flung outpost of the former Empire. The Chief Clerk, followed by a junior, entered my office one morning clutching my usual cup of Imperial Standard tea (no NATO rubbish here) and explained that there was a delicate file for me to peruse.

    After being locked into the Jolly Secret Cupboard and lighting up the first of many B&H I started on the Reference A etc.

    Well frig me with a splintery dildo but the 49 were due to make an operational visit to the Sultanate and buggins here was the man who had to sort it out with the utmost discretion, efficiency and operational considerations.

    Suffice to say that the operation was a complete success, mainly due, I flatter myself, to the excellent operational and logistical planning conducted by myself. In fact the CO commented that while the drinks flowed reasonably freely he had never come across prostitutes like these before in all his years of deployments.

    I cannot disclose the exact nature of their operation, nor do I have the exact details, but I can assure you that these men could never be brought into line - apart from the time when they were waiting on the stairs in a disciplined queue to visit Mademoiselle
    Veronique and her friends (including Jacques who was very popular but walked oddly).

    It takes a better man than I to bring 49 Para into line !
     
  8. Unhappily, I don't speak 'swarthy', but it appears something is going on with 49 Para and the Spanish government. Luckily one of our agents has leaked details onto the web.

    http://lists.debian.org/debian-l10n-spanish/2005/12/msg00162.html

    It appears to be mainly in code, but I did manage to decypher the word 'Scorchio' several hundred times. Things are obviously hotting up.
     
  9. OPSEC old chap.

    Keep it quiet but Manuel has been down to the Regimental Tailor.
     
  10. I would, but my mum won't let me.
     
  11. Crabby wrote:
    I'll supply the tea and biccies on saturday, as long as someone else can provide the waistlines and uniform with all of our numerous achievements sown on.
    After we've saved the world can we sit around discussing the new Andy Mctw@ book and how we'd kill a large, ferocious animal armed with nothing but Lynx roll on deodorant, a small houseplant and a tumbler of tap water? After tabbing across half of eastern europe with twice our bodyweight, of course.

    Crabby, Saturdays are no longer tea and biccy day, but are in fact pasty days, due mainly to the high level of fat and carbohydrate required for the weekends. Opsec prohibits me from divulging more, but suffice to say that all of 49's missions occur on the weekends ( it's the only time mummy , I mean the CO, let's us out on "ops").
    Also, I suggest you report to your local unit; the CO, callsign Mistersoft, has replaced our training manual, Mc**t vols 1- 9, with a far more realistic tome; entitled Warlord.
    I am now off to sew so more badges on my left sleeve as I have no more room on the right. Yes, I am entitled to wear twelve stripes and have just awarded myself the Oak Leaf cluster to my Blue Peter badge first class.
     
  12. Ah pastie days.. I recall my own recent cashiering from this fine force.
    After taking up a Morrisons pie shop offer of 5 large jumbo traditional pasties for the price of 4 I realised too late that the extra pasty was one too far with the standard ration of mouse pies.
    After hurling over the GCMG I was told off (quite harshly I might add) and sent home after having my SAS EOD Para-kyyaking Cdo badge ripped from my uniform.
     
  13. Look you are in trouble now

    User-agent: Debian Thunderbird 1.0.7 (X11/20051017)
     
  14. What makes you walting fcukers think that 49 PARA is NOT in the line, or behind it or even drawing it??

    I obviously cannot comment on this matter, as I am not wearing regimental blazer complete with Catering Corps badge and Staffords buttons, Para Reg beret and something military I found in the charity shop tie. Nor am I standing in the corner of the bar, a la ancient mariner, waiting for my trigger word "Army"...but this I can say "Oh yes
     
  15. Gents

    My answer which is both half witted and half not is what the fcuk are you all talking about? There see, you've made me swaer now.

    49 Para should not an object of fun. It should be something you hold close and dear like I do every night between the bedsheets. It has a heart, a soul and it lives and breathes like unfortunately my mother-in-law.

    49 Para's history goes back in the anals of time and the honours earned should not be trifled. They go all sticky and smell of sherry. The Battle of Little Big Horn could have been so different without 49 Para (Sioux detachment) and the course of history could have been changed without the presents of 49 Para (Gift department).

    Yes you may mock, it is allowed as long as you don't take it with you on an aircraft but come down to the Squirrel and Truncheon and see what it's really like. The next meeting is a week last Thursday next starting at 20.00 o'clock and due to a bad batch of pies, Purple Hearts will be presented to all attending. I am reminded of something that I feel is appropriate and I feel it very often. While not the official motto of 49 Para, I feel it might bring light where there is darkness and marks where there is spencers.

    Tempus, Tempus, Fcuk Tempus?
    Time, Time, Fcuk is that the time?

    Thank you.

    St John Walter (Corporal Retired)
    Walter House
    Walt-on-Thames
    England