Shopping For Christmas Presents for SWMBO & Other Pointless Exercises

[bob_the_bomb]

I used to buy the mrs lingerie for Christmas until l found out someone else was benefiting from it besides me, divorced the whore so buying for her isn't a problem anymore....

She did look good in them though, to be fair...

 

[bob_the_bomb]

SWMBO wants one of those lightweight battery powered vacuum cleaners.

Offering to buy her one for Christmas was met with a chilling "I hope you're not being serious"

Struck fear into my heart, and we've been married for over 20 years.

Big mistake indeed

 

[Teeblerone]

Big mistake indeed

ooo! that's a good idea. Get her a kennel!

Probably best if you've also got a dog, though...

 

[PapaGolf]

I could never put my dog in a kennel!! The missus would suss straight away cos the dog lays at my feet in the living room

 

[Teeblerone]

I could never put my dog in a kennel!! The missus would suss straight away cos the dog lays at my feet in the living room

"Extra-big weatherproof wooden slippers"

 

[deanol]

Why would I do that?? My wife’s ace and I love her more than anyone else (50/50 with my dog mind you).

Because you wrote...

Mine’s getting the usual shat; perfume, dressing gown, iTunes card, tickets to that cnut Sarah Milican and a massive toblerone. Oh and an Only Fools and Horses monopoly game because 1. She hates monopoly and 2. She hates Only Fools and Horses. I however love it so I’ll blag that, a couple of days after.
I ask her every bastard year from September onwards what she wants or to give me ideas and she never bothers cos she’s a facking cnut. By the time it comes to the wanky day, I’m threaders with it.
So instead of letting her ruin yet another, I’ve bought her shite, and because Brexit is coming I’ve worked longer shifts, so she’s had to do the shopping for the first time ever. Bout time she got her hand in her pocket, lazy bastard

I, along with many others I think, just thought that the warm glow of romance may have flickered and died.

 

[PapaGolf]

Because you wrote...



I, along with many others I think, just thought that the warm glow of romance may have flickered and died.

Absolutely not. Like most married men, mine gets right on my tits at times, doesn't mean I don't still want to be with her. She's still got an impressive rack and would still get it (no, no photos). Plus she's the mother of my children. I don't know anyone who's married that doesn't occasionally think their other half is a twat

 

[deanol]

Absolutely not. Like most married men, mine gets right on my tits at times, doesn't mean I don't still want to be with her. She's still got an impressive rack and would still get it (no, no photos). Plus she's the mother of my children. I don't know anyone who's married that doesn't occasionally think their other half is a twat

After 27 years of marriage, and together bringing two kids to adulthood, I completely agree with you. Mine can be an irrational bint at times, like the best of them.

Your post just seemed a little TOO aggressive that’s all mate. Probably me just reading it wrong. But no worries. Hope you have many more years of happiness together.

 

[RangdoOfArg]

Absolutely not. Like most married men, mine gets right on my tits at times, doesn't mean I don't still want to be with her. She's still got an impressive rack and would still get it (no, no photos). Plus she's the mother of my children. I don't know anyone who's married that doesn't occasionally think their other half is a twat

I know my other half thinks I’m a twat. That’s when i’m not a wanker, cunt, bellend, arsehole, useless fucker, and so on.
We still somehow get along.

 

[PapaGolf]

After 27 years of marriage, and together bringing two kids to adulthood, I completely agree with you. Mine can be an irrational bint at times, like the best of them.

Your post just seemed a little TOO aggressive that’s all mate. Probably me just reading it wrong. But no worries. Hope you have many more years of happiness together.

Yeah, i was a bit lairy, but then I hate Chrimble any way. Would rather be stagging on, at least that used to mean I wasn't working on my birthday when everyone else had to go back to work (5th Jan)

 

[deanol]

Yeah, i was a bit lairy, but then I hate Chrimble any way. Would rather be stagging on, at least that used to mean I wasn't working on my birthday when everyone else had to go back to work (5th Jan)

I think most men do hate Christmas.

Being serious for a second, most of the organising and hard work at Christmas falls on the ladies and it makes them more stressed out than they usually are. Which means we get the shite end of that particular stick.

Imagine if they had to arrange their daughter’s wedding for Boxing Day, as well as feed the prospective in-laws the day before!

I would help by emigrating.

 

[GreyArea]

 

[PapaGolf]

I think most men do hate Christmas.

Being serious for a second, most of the organising and hard work at Christmas falls on the ladies and it makes them more stressed out than they usually are. Which means we get the shite end of that particular stick.

Imagine if they had to arrange their daughter’s wedding for Boxing Day, as well as feed the prospective in-laws the day before!

I would help by emigrating.

Well, this year, I've deliberately done the bare minimum, because every single year, I've done literally everything. Time she stepped up.

 

[Accidental_discharge]

Bought mine some new pans and mixing bowls.
I like living dangerously.
She, on the other hand bought me a mig welder, score!

 

[theinventor]

Mine said she didn't want anything, but also explicitly said not to give her one of these

 

[BratMedic]

A New Cross man, methinks...

The two Tiger's Heads are in Lee Green, so close and you win a virtual cigar for New Cross as that was where I was stationed.

 

[diehard57]

I hope mine appreciates this ....

 

[TheHatsRevenge]

For over twenty years, this time of year feels me with dread.

Not only is it Christmas, but it's her birthday on the 28th, and so I have to find two lots of presents.

She's not a girly girl and so jewelry and fashion is not an option.
She doesn't like perfume or smelly things.
She's recently given up chocolate.
She doesn't drink, so the recent trendy gins won't cut it.
The thought of a spa day or similar fills her with horror.

Help!!

Comfy shoes? or dungarees maybe.........

 

[TheHatsRevenge]

Well, SWMBO is on her second Jewel box full of 44 years of expensive "investment". Never get worn.
Clothes? Bugger orf. Strathcarron's Hospice shares rose this year with the numerous black bags of mostly unworn ( not once) stuff.
Choccies? Gets them all year round.
Booze? Total abstainer.
Gadgets? F off. She screws my 'puter up even looking at it.
Kitchen gear? I'm the cook, she washes.
We came to the conclusion...me giving her £100.00 vouchers and she for me was lunacy.
Therefor, we ain't bovverin'
As for card distribution, any fecker who has not bothered making sure we are still actually breathing right now despite us reaching out, **** off and choke. No, really.
As a result, the said distro has shrunk from around 30/40 odd to a dozen real=deals we've known for over 40 odd years.
Apart from that, everyone else can go do one.

My thoughts exactly......

 

[bob_the_bomb]

The two Tiger's Heads are in Lee Green, so close and you win a virtual cigar for New Cross as that was where I was stationed.

I used to commute through there by bike on my way to MB...