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Shopping For Christmas Presents for SWMBO & Other Pointless Exercises

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Rally School for a day.
Electric scooter.
Cricket lessons.
That’s an idea, diving with sharks, sky diving, hot air ballooning.
now where is that life insurance policy:???:
 
I'm more than a little delighted to say that she's decided "We won't get each other anything this year, just get something we each want", which very nicely saves me from having to think of something. In years gone by, the daughter was my go-to for finding out what SWMBO wanted. Apparently they discussed it at length, with the usual female, "Oooo I've changed my tiny mind", every week or so of course.
 
Well, SWMBO is on her second Jewel box full of 44 years of expensive "investment". Never get worn.
Clothes? Bugger orf. Strathcarron's Hospice shares rose this year with the numerous black bags of mostly unworn ( not once) stuff.
Choccies? Gets them all year round.
Booze? Total abstainer.
Gadgets? F off. She screws my 'puter up even looking at it.
Kitchen gear? I'm the cook, she washes.
We came to the conclusion...me giving her £100.00 vouchers and she for me was lunacy.
Therefor, we ain't bovverin'
As for card distribution, any fecker who has not bothered making sure we are still actually breathing right now despite us reaching out, **** off and choke. No, really.
As a result, the said distro has shrunk from around 30/40 odd to a dozen real=deals we've known for over 40 odd years.
Apart from that, everyone else can go do one.
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What about some exotic sausages? Give her all the meat!
 
I used to buy the mrs lingerie for Christmas until l found out someone else was benefiting from it besides me, divorced the whore so buying for her isn't a problem anymore....
 
My Mrs wants a Blacksmithing weekend* taster type thingy. As she got the idea from my brother who runs such courses, he owes me money and lives 100 miles away**, Xmas this year has been pain free.

The only potential hiccups are him finding it funny to produce a ball and chain*** or using his staple wrought iron snail doorstop as the theme for the weekend. They’re actually quite fun but a bastard when you tread on the eye stalk things in bare feet.

* weekend away for her = win for me

** 100 miles being the Safe Distance when hot metal, hammers and my Mrs are colocated

*** I asked him to make one a week before his stag do and he never twigged, the dull twat. He was delivered home by HM Constabulary, naked save a ball and chain, freezing and raging having been found skulking in the back streets of Hereford. He’d made a bloody good job of it too, weighed half a hundredweight.
 
I'm more than a little delighted to say that she's decided "We won't get each other anything this year, just get something we each want", which very nicely saves me from having to think of something. In years gone by, the daughter was my go-to for finding out what SWMBO wanted. Apparently they discussed it at length, with the usual female, "Oooo I've changed my tiny mind", every week or so of course.
You can F reet off with that.
SWMBO bought a ferkin' Mx5 Roadster.
 
You can F reet off with that.
SWMBO bought a ferkin' Mx5 Roadster.
If mine hadn't bought the amount of shite she has bought online this year, we could probably have got 2 :cry:
 
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