Shopping ARRGGGG

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Narcissus, Oct 8, 2006.

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  1. Right well I have been in town today doing spot of clothes shopping, new man bag wooo! I have decided that the interest of public order and well being the following people need to stay the fuck out of decent shops or where should just be young people, the shops I am talking about are places like River Island, envy, Cult, so on and so forth, so if you are in the following groups read and take heed!

    ==Old people==
    Right you lot move far to slow! Once you hit that sort of 45 -50 mark that's it, no more going in these places for you! All you do is look at the same top and decied if that would be a good gift for little Timmy! Well news flash, Timmy isn’t so little, he is now in his 20's and properly already has the top if it's half decent, he wouldn't want you’d blocking up the alies or generally dithering in other peoples way, Shopping is a fast pace sport, so get out the way!! Want to know what Timmy wants, GIVE HIM CASH! Money we love it, it's great! I am sure he will think kindly of you when he is snorting a line of Charlie off some stripper called Candy's arse cheek! You will get the wrong size anyway!

    ==Anyone with a pushchair==
    You lot get in the way, even more so than the old folk! Them things isn’t the most versatile things in the world, and you will, and for the love of God I can't work out why, you will always randomly move the buggy to the side straight into the path of someone trying to get past, it's like a god dam 6th sense with you people, do you have like little mirrors and decide that you will take it out on the unsproged people for the awkward ness of pushing these dam things my trying to maim the rest of us??!! Any way if you have a kid and are 30> then forget about the clothes! Go to like Marks and Sparks or Dunns or help the aged for all I care, just stop taking up room or stopping randomly so the bloody kid can see its reflexion in the mirror, it is not impressed! The mirrors are there for us to see how dam fine we are in the potential new clobber so shift! Anyway you should be saving up to put this sprog through Uni, how else is it going to get into complete drunken and drug educed states if you are not saving!! If you are under 30 and want to go shopping, DON'T TAKE THE KID ffs! Leave it with a sitter or crèche or parents that is what they are for! OH AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS MERSIVAL, DO NOT i repeat DO NOT give a buggy and child to old people, I will kill you!

    ==Chavs==
    You don't like us, reasons of jealousy I assume, and we don't care if you and you're drane on the state family are all horribly killed in a freak slow torture accident. You blanently are never going to buy anything that hasn't come from Sports Soccer, JJB or the dodgey market stool that sells Buuuruerry and Niike gear for £2.50. The only reason you might be in one of these shops is going to the topman hire centre for Wednesday when your name will change to "the accused" but if that is the case, stop wasting your time looking at anything else, your social cheque doesn't reach that far, and if you're over the age of 15 you are going to have at least 2 kids to pay for so stop clogging the place up, oh and die slowly :)

    ==The weirdo==
    Right you know who you are, you have never looked good, you will never look good, live with it. A leather jacket does not offset the fact that you are wearing a star trek t-shit! Resign yourself to the Games Workshop, and wearing stuff that came free with the latest boxset from scifi.com! If you do feel the need to make a change, a la any teen Hollywood flick, ebay.co.uk, stay in your house till it arrives, get a hairdresser to do a home visit, and then come out! Until such time, Get out of the way!

    I am not the best dressed person in the world but these other people really grip my shit!

    Loz
     
  2. Manbag........

    Is there something you want to tell us Loz?
     
  3. I brought a bag, and I am a man (well close aproximation) so there for it is a man bag
     
  4. Manbags have two shoulder straps and are commonly referred to as rucsacs.

    Otherwise, men use pockets.
     
  5. There is only one man bag and that is Bergan, Short back carrying for the use of
     
  6. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    Loz,

    If that post is evidence of the quality of education provided by our universities, I think I will educate my kids at home!
     
  7. Also whats with the lable jockying. Real men shop in Primark. They buy enough clothes to last them until next summer and never go anywhere near a shop again.

    And all out low low prices!
     
  8. Perhaps Loz is incorrectly wearing his man-bag and it is cutting off the oxygen supply to his brain.
     
  9. Yes, because that is how I write my academic work :roll:

    If your kids are as interesting as your reply is I would suggest maybe moving them to an Amish community!
     
  10. And there I was, thinking that real men drive their wives to Asda, and wait in the coffee shop until it's pay-out time.
     
  11. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    Loz,

    Give up university and live up to your true potential - Security guard rentacop in the shopping centre awaits! Man bag and River Island and you have the cheek to criticise chavs?
     
  12. Nah, cant do that. She will only come and visit you every thirty seconds with "Shall i get two of these" comments!
     
  13. Oh you know me so well! You have really pegged me on that one! I mean.............*yawn* sorry you had bored the pis$ out of me there and I fell asleep. Well you go back to home schooling your children, do kids with Trisomy get to do exams? :?
     
  14. The_Duke

    The_Duke LE Moderator

    Trisomy? By that I assume you mean triplication of the 21st chromosome, more commonly referred to as Down's Syndrome? Well, for those that suffer, basic balloon counting can be difficult.

    Bit like you and figuring out the correct change for your latest pair of white trainers, I suppose?
     
  15. You say that like it is a bad thing.....