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A bloke walks into an Optometrist's office carrying a shoebox under his arm.

"How can I help you today?" asks the Eye Specialist.
"Check this out." says the bloke and lifts the lid off the shoebox to reveal a huge, thick, winding turd almost taking up the whole of the box.
"Phwoar!" the Optometrist exclaims, quickly taking a step backwards with a wrinkled nose. "Why did you bring that in here, shouldn't you take that to a normal Doctor?"

"But you don't understand Doc. Every time I drop one of these, it makes my eyes water!"

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