A bloke walks into an Optometrist's office carrying a shoebox under his arm. "How can I help you today?" asks the Eye Specialist. "Check this out." says the bloke and lifts the lid off the shoebox to reveal a huge, thick, winding turd almost taking up the whole of the box. "Phwoar!" the Optometrist exclaims, quickly taking a step backwards with a wrinkled nose. "Why did you bring that in here, shouldn't you take that to a normal Doctor?" "But you don't understand Doc. Every time I drop one of these, it makes my eyes water!"