Shit Jokes...


Fella walks into the pub which has just opened back up under new owners and had a bit of work spent on it from the new owner.

Owner “Welcome to the Red Lion, make yourself at home, there’s sandwiches and sausage rolls on the side to celebrate our grand opening, free pool all night, first drinks free, I’ve spent a fortune on this pub”

Bloke “Well, I’ve been coming his pub for 45 years and every owner has always had snuff on the bar, free of charge. If you don’t do that then you’re as good as finished with me”.

Owner thinks ‘Fuck me what an ungrateful bastard, fucking hell, what a bastard. I’ll show him’ so he went outside and picked up some dog shit, dried it out in the oven and cut it into a fine powder and sprinkled it into a nice silver case and placed it on the bar next to the previous bloke.

Bloke “Oh cheers pal, you’ll do well here” and takes a big snifter of snuff and begins to keep sniffing, he keeps sniffing the air and then looks at the soles of his feet then looks around, in walks his mate, Charlie.

Bloke “Hey Charlie, can you smell dog shit?”

Charlie “No, I’m full of a cold, I can’t smell fuck all”

Bloke keeps checking his feet, sniffing the air and looking on the floor whilst Charlie takes a large amount of snuff.

Charlie “Fuck me that’s good snuff, it’s cleared me right up....I can smell that dog shit now!”
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