Shit happens. Alternatives to toilet paper after Brexit

#22
The wrapping of the Guardian, is now eco friendly and made from entirely compostable material derived from potato starch, so ideal for wiping your arse with and you're doing the planet a favour by using The Guardian the way nature intended

 
#23
Somewhere I saw a documentary on ancient Roman towns and daily life there. They had communal bogs complete with flowing water. Everyone sat on a trough of sorts and used a brush to wipe their Arrses, after which the brush was cleaned in flowing water.
 
#24
The wrapping of the Guardian, is now eco friendly and made from entirely compostable material derived from potato starch, so ideal for wiping your arse with and you're doing the planet a favour by using The Guardian the way nature intended

If they change the newspaper to potato starch and use plant sourced ink they might sell more copies?
"The Guardian you say? I wipe my ARRSE with the Guardian!"
 

Stumpy4154

LE
Book Reviewer
#27
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This might come in handy
 
#28
I knew that dogs indulge in yachting but that's the first time I've seen a cat do it. Amazing what you can find in a carpet. Probably best not to use it in case of broken needles, toxoplasma or ring worm.
Weirdly one of our cats did this last night. Much to the amusement and disgust of Mrs phantom.
 
#30
That tracing paper that use to be issued to every govn dept.
 
#31
Mind you, with no food to actually eat and convert into crap the demand for bog paper will quickly and dramatically reduce.
Look on the bright side.
Plenty " other peoples' " children who scream and open unpaid for food in Tesco,
Go for one of a family of 12 +, especially super- multi- effnick as the hoor wizard-sleeved armpit stenching mother won't know what day it is.
It won't be missed by the time it's spinning on the garden spit with an apple in it's gob.
Protein, carbs, fats.
Job.
Call it...."recycling" That's topical at least.
 
#32
Look on the bright side.
Plenty " other peoples' " children who scream and open unpaid for food in Tesco,
Go for one of a family of 12 +, especially super- multi- effnick as the hoor wizard-sleeved armpit stenching mother won't know what day it is.
It won't be missed by the time it's spinning on the garden spit with an apple in it's gob.
Protein, carbs, fats.
Job.
Call it...."recycling" That's topical at least.
Easy tiger, bit early in the week to be on the Brasso shurrrly??!!
 
#34
One of our clients happens to be a toilet paper manufacturer. I think I'll just pop in and see them as I'll be passing close by next week.

One of their rolls should do me for a while

1547481403858.png
 
#36
Look on the bright side.
Plenty " other peoples' " children who scream and open unpaid for food in Tesco,
Go for one of a family of 12 +, especially super- multi- effnick as the hoor wizard-sleeved armpit stenching mother won't know what day it is.
It won't be missed by the time it's spinning on the garden spit with an apple in it's gob.
Protein, carbs, fats.
Job.
Call it...."recycling" That's topical at least.
Put like that, I'm now quite looking forward to starving to death. Thank you.
 
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