Shit Car Ownership - Ive got the worst

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mutley_Macc_Ladd, Feb 19, 2007.

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  1. Having watched an old episode of clarkson / hammond on Top Gear, I realised I have owned the worst set of cars ever possible.

    Check out this set of beauties and see if you can beat it?

    1975 Ford Escort 1.1 - Bought and realised 1 wheel was a different size?
    1978 Ford Cortina 2.0S - Rust included.
    1985 Austin Maestro 1.3 - Fcuk Moi. Given to someone cos I owed them a fiver!
    1987 Citroen BX 1.6 - Abroad - LOC CLAS
    1986 Austin Montego Countryman - 1.6 - Niiiicccccce.
    1992 Ford Fiesta 1.1 - Blew Up on M54.
    1995 Fiat Brava 1.7TD - Crashed on M54.
    1998 Rover 600.

    I never realised what a wannkkeeer I am?
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Would you like to buy a car - only one(ish) careful driver owner? Fairly cheap.
  3. If I were you I'd keep away from the M54.
  4. Ummm as far as I can remember:_

    1. 1987. 1980(?) Ford festa 1.1 ex MOD police car in Germany had a V plate on it but appeared to reg 2-3 years prev! Engine knackerd but managed to sell it.
    2. 1990. 1983 Ford Kevscourt 1.6 Ghia in gold! Engine blew up had to replace it £400.00.
    3. 1992 Now at work, wait for it, 1987 Ford Festa XR2, when parked under sodium street lights had more spray jobs than a paint factory, every panel a different colour, had to turn the steering wheel to left under breaking to stop sliding off the road, crashed it got 5 points and £500 fine (still on my licence refuse to remove it, it cost me £500 quid man to put it on there!).Sold it after repair as insurance went up to £105 per month (1993)!
    4. 1993. 1988 Peugoet 405 SRI, in white!, Great car quick handled well, all ancillerey items Starter, coil, ecu, altenator, clutch, driveshaft fell apart at bang on 69k, kept untill 137000 miles bought with 52000, and still going at 225000 miles mate of mine owns it.
    5. 1996. 1990 Peugeot 405 Mi16v, bloody fantastic (in white again of course), didnt learn everything fell off at 69k, starting to become very familier dealing with pug mechanics, they seem to use whatever nuts and bolts rolling around on the factory floor, six spanners required to take anything off the car, sizes are nver the ones that come in a standard set! Should never of sold it.
    6. 1999. 1997 1.8 Renault Laguna, the accelerator didnt seem to work, but that may have been due to prev car owned bought with 17k on the clock, now has 120K and still have it, crap car but wont die (see next car), still use it for work, carries hugemount of kit with seats folded.
    7. 2005 Mitsubishi EVO VI Tommi Mak (in white again), kept old car as it owed me nothing, and after realising that the tube used to make the exhust is thesame diamter as the fuel pipe, opened the bonnet havnt a clue where to start, so servicing requires the GDP of a small african country.

    Sorry a bit long but if you have a dodgy car and need to sell, I am the dream Sh1t car magnet, you have been looking for.
  5. 1978 Ford Cortina... Take it back you animal!!! "What a car"

    As for owning a fiat... May god have mercy on your soul.

    I'm a Vauxhall man myself. Had three and can't fault em.
  6. Sounds like you bought cars from "Racing Green" that use to sell second hand cars out side the camp gates in Fally !!!

    P.S I had a 405 Mi16v (not white) Brill car but cost an arm and a leg when the timing belt went !!!
  7. I have a Rover 820si going cheap (£100 ono). Exhaust is blowing and the windows don't work. Its a real treat in the summer.

    Attached Files:

  8. 1977-78 Mk 1 golf 1.5 diesel 1500dm got bored and sold it
    same era 316/20 BMW
    Mk3 escort 1.3 200dm ragged it a bit sold it to lad from sqn
    Y reg Mk3 Xr3£1500 bought from the 2 dodgy tosspots across the road from PRB got told the lads are now banned from buying off them
    Xr2 bought for 400dmsD plate got around 20,000 miles off it sold it for what I paid for it firing on 3 cylinders
    Xr2 800dm C plate bought another cambelt went 5 weeks before posted back to UK gutted sold it to a REME lad from 2RTR who fixed loved the motor could beat doing 120 on remolded tyres :thumright:
    Mk4 escort 1.3 £250 popular D plate rusty as hell drove it through a flood one day water was coming in via the foot well
    Mk3 escort 1.6 ghia £200 quid C plate heater never worked great fun driving in the winter....not cant beat driving and scraping the ice off the inside of a car would top the coolant up before setting off somewhere and it would be empty by the time you got there never overheated though
    Rover 214 1st half decent motor water pump packed in £160 to swap P/xd it for my fiat punto
    Punto 1.2 had since it was 18mths old(R reg) still only 31k on the clock and been pretty good no major faults new battery,exhaust and 2 tyres no rust either and the eletrics still work ...a record for Italian cars

    So do I win the crap car award :headbang:
  9. Drainsniffer, I could have told you that you were a wanker without knowing the cars. Think I have you beat tho(that isn't an offer to toss you off btw)

    1. Mini Van
    2. Fiat Panda
    3. Citroen GS Pallas
    4. Skoda Estelle
    5. Ford Sierra Sapphire
    6. Ford Escort Mistral
    7. Daewoo Espero
    8. Ford Granada Scorpio
    9. Mitsubishi Galant
    10. Renault 21
    11. Austin Metro
    12. Rover 200
    13. Austin Maestro
    14. Ford Orion
    15. Ford Sierra
    16 Fiat Uno
    17. Sierra Sapphire
    18. Renault 5
    19. Mitsubishi Pajero
    20. Ford Mondeo

    Cant remember all the years but apart from two, all were second hand, best one had to be either the Sierra or the Granada, worst, definately the Renault 21, it was far worse than the Skoda.

    Jesus looking back I have had a lot of cars, mostly just bought them, run them for a year and got rid.
  10. 1. 1978 Escort Mk2 1300 which turned out to have a tuned 1600 engine in it (no i didnt tell the insurance man)
    2. 1986 Pug 205 1.9 Diesel- quality car broke down once on M18 as i had put red diesel in it and the water content froze in my fuel filter one day.
    3. 1988 Orion 1.6i Ghia- poor mans XR3i and i crashed it in Winchester.
    4. 1989 Renault 5 GT Turbo- fast as fcuk but made from baked bean tins. 3 clutches and ended up selling it to a Cfn in the wksp who did it up and wrote it off soon after.
    5. 1989 Sierra Sapphire Cosworth 2WD- lovely car apart from head gaskets and speeding fines.
    6. 1995 Escort Cosworth Lux- my baby.......until i got divorced :threaten:
    7. 1988 Sierra Sapphire Cosworth- Tuned to death, the most fun i have ever had with my clothes on.
    8. 1991 Rover 416 Auto on LPG- piece of shite but cheap to run
    9. 1990 Ford Escort Van- Again, piece of shite but got me to Fally and back.
    10. 1993 Pug 106 1.4 Diesel- slow piece of shite but does 60mpg (still have this one)
    11. 1996 Pug 306 Turbo Diesel- Was "boyed up" and went like fcuk. Fuel consumption poor due to tuning and head gasket went- sold quickly to innocent punter
    12. 1998 BMW 328iSE- up for sale now if anyone wants it??
    13. 2002 Renault Laguna Sports Tourer 1.9 Dci- scared of it breaking all the time- sold rapidly- french piece of shite
    14. 2002 Pug 307 Hdi D Turbo- Still have this and seems nice so far....
  11. I see the above and I raise you:

    Vauxhall Cavalier Sport Hatch (Manta) 2.0 GLS (Metallic Orange)
    Rover Metro 1.1 (White)
    Shitroen GS 1.1 (faded rub-off blue)
    Rover P6 2000TC (Puke Yellow)
    Peugeot 106 Rallye 1.3 (Dogknob Red) THE ABSOLUTE MUTTS!
    Isuzu Trooper 3.2 Duty (Gunmetal)
    Vauxhall Cavalier 1.6 (White)
    Saab 900 2.3 (Dark Green)
    Toyota Carina 1.8 GS (Babysnot Green)

    Not only have I had some crap cars, I also can't choose a colour to save my life from the looks of it!

    In order, sold as MOT failure, swapped in, crashed, MOT failure, sold (sob), should have been an MOT failure but he missed something so traded, MOT failure, dropped off a transporter, and she's still driving the last!

    And then there's the ones I have been using from work, and this included the 100% winner. No-one can go lower than this.....

    FSO CARO 1.9D!
  12. Until recently I had a Fiat Coupe 20VT, which was a fantastic car. Actually built by Pininfarina, so perhaps didn't suffer from the usual Fiat problems.

    Worst car I ever had was a 1982 MG Metro, bought tax-free from Rankins in Monchengladbach. Delivered new, 4 months after promised delivery date, in the wrong colour, with sunroof I didn't order, indicator hanging off and dented bonnet ('we'll sort it at the first service, mate'). They had the cheek to try and charge extra for black, despite the fact that wasn't the colour I ordered! Rankins' workshop had the car more than I did.