SHEEZZZ !!! AH DUNNO....SOME DAYS !!!!!...............

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Auld_Sapper, Jun 18, 2004.

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  1. I mean yesterday started off brilliantly. Pitch up for work, papers in on time, away from the depot ahead of schedule, battered round the Athens of the North dumping ma loads, no problemos.
    First light heralded a fine day ahead and, as the golden rays glinted off the piles of vom on the pavements, I even had time for swally or two of Buckfast and a roll up while I watched some big, grey, Navy boaty things in the docks. There was even some decent w*nk mags in the returns and after dumping the last of me load, so to speak, it was home sharpish for a fiddle with ma ARRSE and, with all well wi' the world, retired to me pit for some well earned zeds.
    Some time later, after revalle(?) from the Belfast Belle " Gerr outar that fickin bed, ya fet lazy baw-sturd, yur tays ready, gerroutarther NOY !"
    and wi' the rain pishing down , I stumbled, bleary eyed, doon the stairs. and switched on the telly to be confronted with the shrieking tones of that that odious, double standarded wretch Diane Abbot spouting some inconsequential drivel about feck all.
    Hopping channels I then found some Scottish current affairs thing that reminded me that the Marching Season is upon us and that the repressive part of the gene pond will soon be rising to the surface, dusting off thier flutes, donning thier clown costumes and polluting the streets of our fair land with thier sectarian bile.
    I ask you !?!
    And then, just to put the clappers on it, the Belfast Bitch looks up from the balaclavas she's putting the eye holes into and calmly announces " By the way, Engerland won 3-0 !!!"
    Jesus H Feckin Christ !!! All this and am no even properly awake yet !!!!

    I dunno, some days !!! But, I will tell you this, by the way, there is a God............

    ..It's just unfortunate that he's a feckin Engerlishman AND he's a sadistic hoor.

    Yours suicidally from the top of the south tower of the Forth Road Bridge !!!.

    Ubique ya bass !!!!
  2. I couldn't agree more mate, I couldn't agree more.
  3. clive "im a complete cnut" tyldesly was on form again last night , why doesn't someone burst into the commentary gantry and f*cking garrotte that cnut with his own microphone lead, he couldn't resist talk of russian linesmen 1966 etc etc ad f*cking nauseum , why doesn't he just keep to the game on the pitch , he is truly a bag lady's jam rag.
  4. The worst thing for a Scotsman, would be for the English footie team to win Euro 2004. 8O

    Then you'll find us all, lining up on the South tower of the Forth Bridge, ready to jump into the Forth and end it all :cry:

    I pray, that this doesn't happen. Still hearing you lot harp on about the Rugby World Cup :roll:
  5. ...before it feckin' starts !!!

    Bye !!

    Ubique ya bass !!!!
    By the way any nation that eat sheep's ofal sewn into a stomach lineing ,AND drink Mc kewans are in need of some serious therepy :D
    Scuse Spelling am exedingly pished :D
  7. Hardy har !! bring it on, ye's were lucky, well ye's were, Rooney could've been born in Jockland ! :roll: cor, I wish.

    And as to a yorkshire man commenting on the offal eating habits of ANYONE, well now there a pot calling a kettle black, my god man, the things you people put in your mouths I'll have you know that McSweens produce the finest pluck stuffed sheeps stomachs on the planet, jist fair braw wi' a dram or ten, so it is. McEwans, well, c'mon, we've got to produce summit for the weajie alcos as a wee break from thier Buckfast. :wink:

    And yur spellings forgiven ye 'exedingly' lucky fckuer, am workin the night. :cry:

    Still, only two more nights them aM aff, yipee, plenty time to get the Portuguese flag unfurled and the strip ironed. :twisted:

  8. Sapper you old scrote

    Wish i had a job like yours, on the net all night ! does the boss know :twisted: As for the quisine of Yorkshie you aint lived untill youve tasted Dewersts black pudding, chitlins in gravey, and dont forget the old favorite bread and drippin :D
    must go feelin peckish
  9. 8O JOB !!??!! as in : Gainful employment ???

    Enough of that sort of language in here man ! The Brew might be snooping !

    Walls have ears you know...................

    ...and lips & arsses in thier pies.

    Ubique ya bass !!!
  10. ..[.and lips & arsses in thier pies.]

    I stopped eating NAAFI growlers years ago :D
  11. :D Awesome !!, the Belfast Bitch has given permission for me to hit Argos with the plastic and get a new digi camera. :D 'Kin brill !! Am ooto here. !!

    Cheers :wink:

    Ubique ya bass !!!
  12. Sod that A-S, get typing more Stumpy stories :?
  13. X-Inf

    X-Inf War Hero Book Reviewer

    They don't even have to be true!!!!!!!!!!
  14. Argos eh?. That'll be you pushing the boat right oot there Jock.
  15. IF you are hammering the plastic in Argos, call via Lidl on the way home, there is 10p of Bacon Mis-shapes.. :D