I mean yesterday started off brilliantly. Pitch up for work, papers in on time, away from the depot ahead of schedule, battered round the Athens of the North dumping ma loads, no problemos. First light heralded a fine day ahead and, as the golden rays glinted off the piles of vom on the pavements, I even had time for swally or two of Buckfast and a roll up while I watched some big, grey, Navy boaty things in the docks. There was even some decent w*nk mags in the returns and after dumping the last of me load, so to speak, it was home sharpish for a fiddle with ma ARRSE and, with all well wi' the world, retired to me pit for some well earned zeds. Some time later, after revalle(?) from the Belfast Belle " Gerr outar that fickin bed, ya fet lazy baw-sturd, yur tays ready, gerroutarther NOY !" and wi' the rain pishing down , I stumbled, bleary eyed, doon the stairs. and switched on the telly to be confronted with the shrieking tones of that that odious, double standarded wretch Diane Abbot spouting some inconsequential drivel about feck all. Hopping channels I then found some Scottish current affairs thing that reminded me that the Marching Season is upon us and that the repressive part of the gene pond will soon be rising to the surface, dusting off thier flutes, donning thier clown costumes and polluting the streets of our fair land with thier sectarian bile. I ask you !?! And then, just to put the clappers on it, the Belfast Bitch looks up from the balaclavas she's putting the eye holes into and calmly announces " By the way, Engerland won 3-0 !!!" Jesus H Feckin Christ !!! All this and am no even properly awake yet !!!! I dunno, some days !!! But, I will tell you this, by the way, there is a God............ ..It's just unfortunate that he's a feckin Engerlishman AND he's a sadistic hoor. Yours suicidally from the top of the south tower of the Forth Road Bridge !!!. Ubique ya bass !!!!