Sheep farmer

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by oz2461, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. A farmer buys some sheep hoping to breed them for wool.

    After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and he phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

    The farmer does not have a clue what this means but does not want to show his ignorance to the vet, so he asks the vet "how will I know when they are pregnant". The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in the long grass when they are pregnant.

    The man hangs up and gives it some thought. he comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

    So he loads the sheep into his landrover, drives them out to the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

    Next morning he awakes to find the sheep are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take and he loads them into his rover again. he takes them back to the woods, bangs them twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed knackered.

    Next morning he wakes to find the sheep still standing around, try again he thinks. He loads tehm up , drives them to the woods and bangs them all day long. He goes home and collapses on the bed.

    The next morning , he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to see if the sheep are standing around.

    "No" she says "they are all in the land Rover and one of them is beeping the horn!!!!"