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She Who Must Be Obeyed

I recall a certain COs wife standing on a Dias at the main gate taking the salute as the Regiment - all 57 challengers worth - exited en route for an FTX. That was just downright weird.
I remember with a smile one of our LE Officers in drag (he was a big unit), taking the salute on the final dress rehearsal the day before Princess Anne was due to carry out the real thing, back in 1983. He had fixed on the biggest pair of false top bollocks I had ever seen. He was a true character and brought a smile to the Regiments face after the usual weeks of fcuk about that precedes a Royal visit.
Presumably he had the COs permission!
 
A good side to "She who must be obeyed" and recent.

Between commissioning at Sandbags and Troop Leaders at Bovie was about a couple of months so Albertous Junior and the other two one pip wonders with their regiment. The week before they head off to learn their trade as Troop Leaders the customary dinner at the COs. A long night allegedly which included copious amounts of drink and at one point both the CO's wife and one of the subbie being rather ill in the flower beds.

Next day Albertous Junior and the other non worst for wear subbie fined a couple of bottles of champagne by the adjt for not having the courtesy to also be sick when the COs wife was so non-gentlemanly conduct with smiles all round in a " welcome to the regt and our strange ways" sort of way.

Later that week the fine rescinded because apparently the CO's wife blamed it on the poor whisky the CO had served post dinner and very strongly suggested all three new officers should be bought the two bottles of champagne each by the adjt and CO instead. To be fair apparently they were post Troop Leaders.
 
Best officer's wifes I've known are those of- Tony Johnson Burt (current Buck house Master of Household)
And Tim Lawrence- married to Princess Anne.
Could never wish to meet more friendly and 'down to earth' posh people.
 
this morning the RSM had phoned and said "Sgt Buggrit......(he actually said Sgt B, yes I was on first initial terms with the RSM and I didnt want to lose this accolade!)
Proper little jailer's pet, aren't you? :?

 
In Blandford, I used to walk past my next door neighbour (a trainee) on my way to work, every morning. “Morning” says I, every morning, nothing in return. After a few weeks of this, I’m chatting with his missus over the garden fence, “What’s up with your husband? Have I done something to piss him off or is he just ignorant to everyone first thing in the morning ?”
“When we got here, his troop seniors told him to ignore everyone on the patch because he’s a trainee and everyone else isn’t “.
“Tell your husband bollocks to that, it’s first name terms down here, act appropriately at work if we’re in company of others. Beers this weekend”.
The bloke was in his thirties, but it was the Blandford bug. Some wives wouldn’t talk to my missus in the mess because of the rank difference. Twats
 
...Eventually this guy got done fiddling ships expenses. Here’s a guy on £150k a year, including big pension and he’s fiddling to the tune of $8 or so. He’d have probably got a gypsy’s for it if he’d put his hand up to it but no, he had to argue the toss and try and bluff it. That was him. Hoofed...

Same bloody nightmare. We'd change USD to local currency to pay for various things like taxis and sorting out hotel bills and such. FO usually carried the cat and would change money on the street to get a good rate, while using the official or hotel rate on the expense sheet. We'd usually build up a decent cat for the crew for a few beers at the end of a tour, or everyone got an equal split. Wasn't a fortune, usually a couple of hundred dollars split five ways.

This particular clown would make sure he took over the cat in the last day or two and grab the lion's share if he was part of the crew, then stand everyone a single beer on the last night instead. Utter cocksplash. WTAF is it about air farce spooge garglers?
 

Polyester

War Hero
Same bloody nightmare. We'd change USD to local currency to pay for various things like taxis and sorting out hotel bills and such. FO usually carried the cat and would change money on the street to get a good rate, while using the official or hotel rate on the expense sheet. We'd usually build up a decent cat for the crew for a few beers at the end of a tour, or everyone got an equal split. Wasn't a fortune, usually a couple of hundred dollars split five ways.

This particular clown would make sure he took over the cat in the last day or two and grab the lion's share if he was part of the crew, then stand everyone a single beer on the last night instead. Utter cocksplash. WTAF is it about air farce spooge garglers?
We’re not all cunts!

Oh, er no hang on. We are. Yep. Cunts.
 
Same in all Militaries; I was in the Irish Air Corps and the Officers graded themselves as follows: Pilots, Engineering Officers (aviation), the rest. Some of the Air Traffic Controllers (officers) also considered themselves a cut above and would associate themselves with (some) pilots and regard the rest as mere tradesmen or worse. Officers commissioned from the ranks were regarded as outside the Pale and merely tolerated, as they did the boring, routine jobs. Some of the pilots considered themselves,depending on which aircraft they flew, to be surperior air gods altogether. We had two beauts that flew the Govt jet, initially a 125 and then a GIII and they acted as if their shit didnt stink. One of them was brought down to earth when he left for civvy airline flying and found himself flying a very tatty 737 cargo aircraft.

I think I pissed off the creature when I admitted to being a bog standard rifleman but had probably seen more live ammo used in anger than he and his cronies had.
 
For younger viewers, Tenko was a TV drama series about a Japanese internment camp for wives and families following the fall of Singapore in WW2. The rank structure assumed by the wives mirrored that in the garrison.
With the Army Matron assuming the appointment of RSM if I remember rightly.
 
The TA, as ever, tended to do things "differently" - the whole "wives of" just didn't get a chance to take off in the same way that I remember Dad taking the p!ss out of in the early 80s...

"Ahhh, Sarn't-Major, ai just thort ai'd pop down to see mai waives"
- "Your wives, Mrs CO? Is that legal?"
"(giggles) No, Sarn't Major, ai mean mai husband's waives"
- "He's a polygamist?"
"(laughs) Ah, Sarn't-Major, ai mean mai husband's soldier's waives"


"Husbands of" was fun - we had a young OC's driver/operator based at our location, good soldier, viewed by all as a "wee sister", and woe betide anyone who decided to try grabbing at her in a crowded NAAFI (it was a sight watching a drunk Glaswegian achieve instant and chilling sobriety, about a quarter of a millisecond after he'd wandered over and tried to hug her, that every bloke within five meters had instantly started to lean forward out of their chairs to start rending him limb from limb).

Anyway, she had a boyfriend in our 1st Bn, and the poor sod was seen as only just good enough for her... I really really hope it all went swimmingly and they've lived happily ever after, because otherwise he was going to be persona non grata for a fifty-mile radius.

The other story was about my beloved, who is a damn' sight more successful than me (I've told this story before). We go to the CO's house for dinner (fantastic CO, really nice bloke), he discovers that she's a business consultant, he makes a comment that's an attempt at humour, she puts it down hard, I smile quietly... The next training weekend, our Training Major wanders over for a chat:
"Your wife, she's quite successful, yes?"
- "Well, yes, Kim, she's a Director with one of the big consulting firms"
"So... she earns as much as the CO?"

- "Kim, she earns more than the GOC..."
It was amusing watching his Regular Army eyes cross into "Tilt" mode at the concept of... well, you know...

Anyway, the kids' nursery was next to Redford Barracks patch (convenient for the in-laws, as we were both working at the other end of the M8 ), and one of the mums from the patch started giving swimming lessons; hiring the Dreghorn Barracks pool to do them. Beloved did most of it, I took the boys along once or twice, and after a while made a comment at home about car passes.

"Oh", says beloved, "they never ask me to sign for those, they just wave me in".

For weeks, the blokes on the gate had been taking one look at the civvy female with an air of confidence, driving a Volvo estate, and just waving it through. I did point out to her that what she really needed was a "Dog, Officers', Yellow" and a bodywarmer to complete the stereotype, and fifteen years later she's succeeded 8)
 
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shaka

Old-Salt
I served for 44 years in total and my experience in most cases the higher the rank the nicer the person.E.g. I was a Pte soldier in Aden in 1967 and one of our duties was to guard the residence of the C-in-C Admiral Le Fanu. He was a real gentleman and his good lady would often bring out food and cold drinks to the prowler sentries when we finished our stag. Another example of a fine Officer who always looked after the welfare of his men was Brigadier David Bromhead ( great, great nephew of Bromhead VC )
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I do fondly recall the interview with my C.O. that was the result of me turning up to a weekend out of hours emergency clinic in civies before changing into scrubs to recement a lost crown on w/o CO 39 Regt RA.

The fact that the clinic was allegedly for relief of pain and not for aesthetic stuff passed her by.

The interview was more for the fact that my CO had to deal with this rather than the offence itself.
 
1 ADSR, early 2000’s, car pulls up at the Main Gate. The Guard have been given specific instructions from the RSM that they are to check every single ID card of every vehicle entering camp. (As told to me by the guys on guard that date)
Wife Of pulls up to the gate.
“Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
“I’m the TOTs wife”
“Yes we know that Ma’am, but we have instructions from the RSM to check every ID card of people entering camp”
“You can see by my car pass that I’m the TOTs wife now let me in”
”Sorry Ma’am, you’re not allowed entry onto camp unless you show me your ID card”
“I’m the TOTs wife, and I demand you let me in “
“Only if you show me your ID card”
“Right, I want to speak to the Guard Commander”
She then storms in to the Guardroom, shouting and screaming about being the TOTs wife demanding entry and wanting the guard jailed for being impertinent.
Guard Commander (who had been watching it all from the window) “Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
To cut a long story short, she threatened to jail all the guard, her husband was going to come down and charge everyone, she was the TOTs wife and demanded entry. Guard Commander who got bored of her rants “ Why are you talking in that posh accent Ma’am? You married your husband when he was a full screw”
She goes purple and storms off home, no ID no entry.
Some of you will know her and her equally full of himself excuse for a man Capt Pxxxy (a perfect example of why RSignals techs shouldn’t have got accelerated promotion, he was widely mocked by all the Div staff and the Regtl Officers. Always had to have the last word on Commanders Conferences)
If Capt P***y is who I think it is, then that never happened and this story is the figment of somebody's fevered imagination. If it is the same person, then I know him and his lovely wife very well. There is absolutely no way in a million years that she would behave that way. She is charming, modest, polite and softly spoken. In addition she is very slim and quite small, so in this mythical story, the guard commander must have felt like a proper hard man towering over a 4'11" petite woman.

Oh, and she married him when he was a Sgt.

Whats a TOT for all us non bleep/scaley type chaps?
Technical Officer Telecommunications. They are the commissioned Foreman of Signals (FofS), which is the technical supervisor role in the Corps. They are normally drawn from the R Sigs tech trade, then after a selection board at Sgt attend a 20 month BSc course (Having already spent at least two years in full time tech training) and emerge back into the Corps as a SSgt. FofS is rank-ranged up to WO1 then, after a commissioning board, some of them become TOT, which in its turn is rank-ranged up to Lt Col.
 
Guard Commander around 5ft4 so hardly towering. Why would he and 4 other members of the guard from my troop all lie? Sorry to burst your bubble
 
Guard Commander around 5ft4 so hardly towering. Why would he and 4 other members of the guard from my troop all lie? Sorry to burst your bubble
OK, let's put it this way. If Mrs P did behave that way, she had undergone a massive character transplant since 2002, when the pair of them were well within our social circle. We've been ski-ing together for weeks at a time, spent loads of time in each others' company and always went to the mess together. I just cannot give this tale any credence whatsoever.

Funny story about him though. During SAIF SARREA II, in 2001, we foremen had a secret 'engineering' laptop that we could use to send e-mails, browse t'internet and so on. Unfortunately it wasn't the best laptop and, with all the sand, the keys started to stick if you didn't give them some definite pressure. One day, my wife called me on Ptarmigan, through the cleverly set-up bridge we had put in place, to tell me that his wife, C****, had phoned her in tears telling her that her husband had sent her a message, "I can live without you!" She was devastated and my wife asked me to speak to him to see what had brought him to this conclusion. Was it the separation, was it 9/11 (Which had just happened), was it something else? I found him over in the Joint HQ tent and took him outside for a quick chat. His face dropped and his eyes turned to dinner plates. "Shit! That bloody 'T' key! I meant to write I can't live without you!"

Oh how we laughed.
 
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OK, let's put it this way. If Mrs P did behave that way, she had undergone a massive character transplant since 2001, when the pair of them were well within our social circle. We've been ski-ing together for weeks at a time, spent loads of time in each others' company and always went to the mess together. I just cannot give this...
She’s female, even the best ones have their moments.
 

aardvark64

War Hero
OK, let's put it this way. If Mrs P did behave that way, she had undergone a massive character transplant since 2002, when the pair of them were well within our social circle. We've been ski-ing together for weeks at a time, spent loads of time in each others' company and always went to the mess together. I just cannot give this tale any credence whatsoever.

....
Sure it's the same Mrs P? Might have traded the old one in for a newer and more user-friendly version?
 
If Capt P***y is who I think it is, then that never happened and this story is the figment of somebody's fevered imagination. If it is the same person, then I know him and his lovely wife very well. There is absolutely no way in a million years that she would behave that way. She is charming, modest, polite and softly spoken. In addition she is very slim and quite small, so in this mythical story, the guard commander must have felt like a proper hard man towering over a 4'11" petite woman.

Oh, and she married him when he was a Sgt.


Technical Officer Telecommunications. They are the commissioned Foreman of Signals (FofS), which is the technical supervisor role in the Corps. They are normally drawn from the R Sigs tech trade, then after a selection board at Sgt attend a 20 month BSc course (Having already spent at least two years in full time tech training) and emerge back into the Corps as a SSgt. FofS is rank-ranged up to WO1 then, after a commissioning board, some of them become TOT, which in its turn is rank-ranged up to Lt Col.
Dave's missus was lovely.

Dave was a bit of a prick though.
 

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