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She Who Must Be Obeyed

GreyArea

War Hero
With the current drift of the "HMS Queen Elizabeth's Captain sacked for using his official car at weekends" thread into dits about pompous, arrogant military wives (all ranks, all services) and on the prodding of @ordinaryforces I'd like to christen a new thread to post those sort of dits so that it doesnt get too de-railed.

there probably is a thread on here and if not why not about arrogant pompous army wives.
there were quite a few in my time in sixties germany who I think actually thought themselves Royalty and in reality were just interfering old harridans.
it was all pearls Hermes scarves Volvo estates and labradors then.

Please remember, No names, no pack drill and certainly nothing actionable.

(Could the MODs please transfer over the other dits that have been posted on that thread to clean it up a bit?)

I've re-posted my dit about the Admiral's wife to start it off.


Friend of mine who was a Leading Steward in the RN tells a cracking dit about the wife of the Admiral he was once steward for.

Apparently one day she been out "shopping" with friends in central London and rocked up to the front of the Admiral's quarters in a taxi half cut, emptied half the contents of Harrods out of the back and then dismissively told him to take it in and stow it all away before tottering inside and disappearing up to her bedroom for a lie down. 4 hours later she comes down and demands to know where her shopping was to be told it was exactly where she left it as he was the Admiral's steward and not the house flunkey. Out she goes to the front steps and sure enough everything was exactly where she'd left it.

Cue screams, batshit mentality and threats of having his rate and off she goes to cause murder. An hour later my mate is called to the Admiral's study whereupon the Admiral tells him that the wife has given him mucho earache but that my mate was quite right, it wasn't his job to be a house flunkey and that it would not happen again.

For the rest of the year that he was drafted to that billet she didn't acknowledge him nor speak to him and indeed often made out as if he wasn't even in the room.

Cheers Shippers
 
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1 ADSR, early 2000’s, car pulls up at the Main Gate. The Guard have been given specific instructions from the RSM that they are to check every single ID card of every vehicle entering camp. (As told to me by the guys on guard that date)
Wife Of pulls up to the gate.
“Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
“I’m the TOTs wife”
“Yes we know that Ma’am, but we have instructions from the RSM to check every ID card of people entering camp”
“You can see by my car pass that I’m the TOTs wife now let me in”
”Sorry Ma’am, you’re not allowed entry onto camp unless you show me your ID card”
“I’m the TOTs wife, and I demand you let me in “
“Only if you show me your ID card”
“Right, I want to speak to the Guard Commander”
She then storms in to the Guardroom, shouting and screaming about being the TOTs wife demanding entry and wanting the guard jailed for being impertinent.
Guard Commander (who had been watching it all from the window) “Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
To cut a long story short, she threatened to jail all the guard, her husband was going to come down and charge everyone, she was the TOTs wife and demanded entry. Guard Commander who got bored of her rants “ Why are you talking in that posh accent Ma’am? You married your husband when he was a full screw”
She goes purple and storms off home, no ID no entry.
Some of you will know her and her equally full of himself excuse for a man Capt Pxxxy (a perfect example of why RSignals techs shouldn’t have got accelerated promotion, he was widely mocked by all the Div staff and the Regtl Officers. Always had to have the last word on Commanders Conferences)
 
1 ADSR, early 2000’s, car pulls up at the Main Gate. The Guard have been given specific instructions from the RSM that they are to check every single ID card of every vehicle entering camp. (As told to me by the guys on guard that date)
Wife Of pulls up to the gate.
“Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
“I’m the TOTs wife”
“Yes we know that Ma’am, but we have instructions from the RSM to check every ID card of people entering camp”
“You can see by my car pass that I’m the TOTs wife now let me in”
”Sorry Ma’am, you’re not allowed entry onto camp unless you show me your ID card”
“I’m the TOTs wife, and I demand you let me in “
“Only if you show me your ID card”
“Right, I want to speak to the Guard Commander”
She then storms in to the Guardroom, shouting and screaming about being the TOTs wife demanding entry and wanting the guard jailed for being impertinent.
Guard Commander (who had been watching it all from the window) “Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
To cut a long story short, she threatened to jail all the guard, her husband was going to come down and charge everyone, she was the TOTs wife and demanded entry. Guard Commander who got bored of her rants “ Why are you talking in that posh accent Ma’am? You married your husband when he was a full screw”
She goes purple and storms off home, no ID no entry.
Some of you will know her and her equally full of himself excuse for a man Capt Pxxxy (a perfect example of why RSignals techs shouldn’t have got accelerated promotion, he was widely mocked by all the Div staff and the Regtl Officers. Always had to have the last word on Commanders Conferences)
Whats a TOT for all us non bleep/scaley type chaps?
 
Remember a Sqn. Leader's wife following us down a Battle Run at Hohne once in a control vehicle.
 

Sexton Blake

War Hero
Wife of a fairly run of the mill Army Captain I knew very vaguely was a right little Princess.

Had this lavish big wedding which involved mucking loads of the blokes around at the weekend of said marriage; yet alone the build up of putting up tents and tables etc.

She flew in loads of friends, though remarkably few family, yet all of them were too stuck up to cop off with the lads stagging on.

She 100% refused to have a married quarter and to top it all off, before she even was asked to help out at the Cpls club wives do, she effed off sharpish to Yankee Doodle land with her poor hubby in tow.

Mary I think her name was, or possibly Meghan Muckle something or other.

UWO said he was glad to see the back of her.
 
1 ADSR, early 2000’s, car pulls up at the Main Gate. The Guard have been given specific instructions from the RSM that they are to check every single ID card of every vehicle entering camp. (As told to me by the guys on guard that date)
Wife Of pulls up to the gate.
“Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
“I’m the TOTs wife”
“Yes we know that Ma’am, but we have instructions from the RSM to check every ID card of people entering camp”
“You can see by my car pass that I’m the TOTs wife now let me in”
”Sorry Ma’am, you’re not allowed entry onto camp unless you show me your ID card”
“I’m the TOTs wife, and I demand you let me in “
“Only if you show me your ID card”
“Right, I want to speak to the Guard Commander”
She then storms in to the Guardroom, shouting and screaming about being the TOTs wife demanding entry and wanting the guard jailed for being impertinent.
Guard Commander (who had been watching it all from the window) “Good morning Ma’am, could I see your ID card please?”
To cut a long story short, she threatened to jail all the guard, her husband was going to come down and charge everyone, she was the TOTs wife and demanded entry. Guard Commander who got bored of her rants “ Why are you talking in that posh accent Ma’am? You married your husband when he was a full screw”
She goes purple and storms off home, no ID no entry.
Some of you will know her and her equally full of himself excuse for a man Capt Pxxxy (a perfect example of why RSignals techs shouldn’t have got accelerated promotion, he was widely mocked by all the Div staff and the Regtl Officers. Always had to have the last word on Commanders Conferences)
Dave Pe**y by any chance?
 
Unit I used to be based at was one of the few that still had a married patch behind the wire. It was a fairly remote unit and the highlight of a lot of the young wives day was to shuffle out of camp to drop their kids off at the local primary school, and shuffle back again later in the day to pick the little darlings back up. You could see in the faces of these young lasses that this wasn't the life of adventure promised to them while they were getting finger banged behind the local nightclub by their future squaddie husbands.

Anyway! There was this young lance jacks wife who was quite a few beers short of a crate and we'd had many issues with her, mainly down to her been a total alcoholic and kicking off every time she was pished, her poor hubby was forever in the brown and smelly for her antics. One of her biggest shenanigans was driving her car through the perimeter fence while drunk and doing a runner.
This day though, she was taking the kids to school in her car as always, because like hell would she walk the 500 yards out of camp to the school, and like always she was in her pyjamas while she was doing it.

Normally when she comes back in, we just let her through as nobody wants the drama of dealing with her, however this morning the RSM had phoned and said "Sgt Buggrit......(he actually said Sgt B, yes I was on first initial terms with the RSM and I didnt want to lose this accolade!) make sure everyones ID's and passes are checked this morning!". So I tell the lads and we have this young lad on the main gate who is new to guard that it's 100% checks, no exemptions as the RSM had a habit of keeping an eye on the gate.

Young pyjama miss comes driving in and lo! instead of being waved through she gets stopped and asked for her ID and car pass......of course she doesnt have it, so young Tom politely but firmly asks her to go to the guardroom to get a temp pass. She's having none of it. So young Tom phones over to tell me whats going on and I can actually hear this harridan screaming at him while he's on the phone. I tell him to send her over, he says "she wont as she's in her pyjamas." I tell him to tell her, she comes for a temp pass, or she turns her car around and leaves.

More background screaming and screeching.

By this time all the lads in the guardroom have heard whats going on and they're all crowding around the windows to watch this car screech into the layby and this young lass get out in a set of flannel jammies with some fluffy slippers on, her face covered in tears and snot stomp passed the queue of cars to get to the guardroom. There's lots of snickering and "hee hee's" in the background and I'm trying to tell the lads to "fuck off" and "put them fucking phones away!" so it doesnt get worse, all the while trying not to laugh myself.
This little force of nature comes storming in, crying and screaming about how she wants the gate guard charged for embarrassing her, wailing about how she's in her jammies, screaming about how everyone knows her.
When she eventually took a breath, I informed her what the guard had told her and maybe she should get dressed before she leaves the house. I also told her the RSM was in now if she wanted to make a complaint and she could go over to his office. I think this got through to her walnut sized, pickled brain.
This was one of a few dramas with this one wife. Not so much of a "do you know who I am" story.
 
Jaw dropped. Your missus, a serving officer was tasked by a “wife of” and the families officer backed the wife of? No offence but it doesn’t cast your regiment in a very good light. I’d say it was the families officer who owed you the beers.

ps: Palimsest: not the truth of what actually happened but your memory of what happened and therefore true enough.

Transferred from t’other thread.

If you knew the characters involved you would understand the situation a little more clearly.

Certainly no offence taken (even in theses days), this was a product of a system of patronage and entitlement and petty jealousies on its last legs. The “Family” regiment had it’s downside where fellow officers married the sister of fellow officer and daughters of, after careful vetting by the existing wives, resulting in either strong harmonious groupings that benefited all or in vindictive, poisoned covens who would do anything to show up their perceived rivals. Must point out that this system was not just a product of the Officers’ Mess it was an all ranks effort.

I fell into the trap of marrying outside of this system and without reference to and approval of the existing wives, which resulted in some interesting situations. In the end it all worked itself out once the Mrs Ayatollah realised she was not going to win, and that Mrs 06 could also arrange flowers whist working in Corps HQ.

Many other tales of the inability of the ”Borg” not being able to assimilate the change that was afoot.
 
Not just wives. I heard a tale of an RAF Hercules about to depart for a detachment to Cyprus (or somewhere equally sunny), the Loadies were at the aircraft when the aircrew turn up and a half-winged sky-god just out of training drops his kit on the ground down by the back of the ramp and says to the WO Loadmaster “keep an eye on my bag”.

On arrival sunny side the crew were getting sorted when matey-boy pipes up “where’s my bag?” Much shrugging of shoulders from the Loadies. He turns to the WO and says “I told you to keep an eye on my bag” to which the WO replied “ I did Sir, it never moved, even when we taxied out”

Lessons were learned that day.
 
Not just wives. I heard a tale of an RAF Hercules about to depart for a detachment to Cyprus (or somewhere equally sunny), the Loadies were at the aircraft when the aircrew turn up and a half-winged sky-god just out of training drops his kit on the ground down by the back of the ramp and says to the WO Loadmaster “keep an eye on my bag”.

On arrival sunny side the crew were getting sorted when matey-boy pipes up “where’s my bag?” Much shrugging of shoulders from the Loadies. He turns to the WO and says “I told you to keep an eye on my bag” to which the WO replied “ I did Sir, it never moved, even when we taxied out”

Lessons were learned that day.
That's the usual movers' 'don't worry Sir, I'll put your baggage aside for special treatment'.

Which in Bardufoss meant tipping it into a hole in the snow behind the ATLO tent.
 
It’s not just in the military although to be fair, a lot of the attitudes were learnt there.

A good few years ago we had a brilliant contract based in Indonesia for 3 months over the U.K. winter, flying pilgrims up to Jeddah for the Hajj. The pay was excellent even if the flying was dull and Jeddah was enough to destroy the soul. The real bonus for a slack handful of us was that you could take your family.

Accordingly about 100 pilots would go out and about 15 would take their wives. They were all senior Captains and the wives were all very clear on what number their husbands were on the Seniority List. They very soon became known by everyone else as the The Tenko Wives* and it wasn’t meant affectionately. They spent their time on shopping and little trips that were designed to ensure nail varnish didn’t get chipped etc. and on treating the locals with disdain. Unsurprisingly, a lot of them were ex RAF.

One year a mate of mine and I cooked up a plan that we’d go and takes our wives and horror of horrors, our 3 year old daughters. Crews were made up of one Captain and two First Officers and stayed as a crew together for the whole 3 months. We asked to be paired so our wives and kids could kick around together when we were down route and we’d do our own thing when on time off in Indonesia. The manager planning it all thought it a great plan and everything was set.

We were rostered with a senior bloke who was a tool. Everything the old RAF mentality had to offer and no people skills at all**. Even worse, he had his wife in tow and of course she immediately tried to inculcate the two renegade wives into the Tenko Club. That went well.

It was silly stuff. Every night we were supposed to meet for sundowners on their balcony but she’d get the hump because the kids would get bored and mess about in her immaculate hotel room which was like something out of Homes Beautiful magazine, right down to the little bowl of sweeties on the table. Try explaining to a 3 year old that they were for display, not eating.

In the end she complained and her cock of a husband felt that the best place to deal with that was to rift me and my mate in flight. Smart move.

The Two Renegade Wives split from Tenko and started doing their own thing, things like going to the village where one of the bell boy‘s family lived and seeing fruit bats with 4’ wingspans and having a chicken killed and cooked for a feast in their honour, eating goldfish without labelling the locals as savages, swimming on coral reefs etc. Basically doing all the things that this great opportunity presented for young families. Everywhere they went they were warmly greeted as white women with blond kids in tow were literally unheard of and Indonesians are probably the nicest people I’ve ever met. They were called Mrs Katherine and Mrs Jenny (after the kids names) by people they’d never met. People who had nothing were inviting them into their homes and giving them tea. It was very humbling. Tenko hated it.

It all came to a head when Head Tenko “had a word” with the degenerate twosome about them “flaunting“ themselves with the natives. “You should know Mrs Toastie, both you and Toastie were in the military, your father was a Navy Officer out here, you know how it works ”.

Mrs Toastie “what rank was your husband in the Forces?”

Head Tenko “he was a Flt Lt”.

Mrs Toastie “you’re right, I do know how it works, my father, my husband and I all outranked your husband. Feck off”.

* For younger viewers, Tenko was a TV drama series about a Japanese internment camp for wives and families following the fall of Singapore in WW2. The rank structure assumed by the wives mirrored that in the garrison.

** He apparently latterly came very close to failing a sim ride for exactly that kind of behaviour, demanded the result be changed as in his view, sim checks were a test purely of technical skills. He was told “change or leave”.
 
With the current drift of the "HMS Queen Elizabeth's Captain sacked for using his official car at weekends" thread into dits about pompous, arrogant military wives (all ranks, all services) and on the prodding of @ordinaryforces I'd like to christen a new thread to post those sort of dits so that it doesnt get too de-railed.



Please remember, No names, no pack drill and certainly nothing actionable.

(Could the MODs please transfer over the other dits that have been posted to clean it up a bit?)

I've re-posted my dit about the Admiral's wife to start it off.


Friend of mine who was a Leading Steward in the RN tells a cracking dit about the wife of the Admiral he was once steward for.

Apparently one day she been out "shopping" with friends in central London and rocked up to the front of the Admiral's quarters in a taxi half cut, emptied half the contents of Harrods out of the back and then dismissively told him to take it in and stow it all away before tottering inside and disappearing up to her bedroom for a lie down. 4 hours later she comes down and demands to know where her shopping was to be told it was exactly where she left it as he was the Admiral's steward and not the house flunkey. Out she goes to the front steps and sure enough everything was exactly where she'd left it.

Cue screams, batshit mentality and threats of having his rate and off she goes to cause murder. An hour later my mate is called to the Admiral's study whereupon the Admiral tells him that the wife has given him mucho earache but that my mate was quite right, it wasn't his job to be a house flunkey and that it would not happen again.

For the rest of the year that he was drafted to that billet she didn't acknowledge him nor speak to him and indeed often made out as if he wasn't even in the room.

Cheers Shippers
The Leading Steward obviously missed the cue to go upstairs and shag her when she said she was going upstairs for a lie down.

Bad drills in my view.

Oh hang on, are we talking about the RN here?
 

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