Shaved Gonads

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by moosehunter, Apr 26, 2011.

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  1. Simples.
    Liberally cover the area with petrol and strike a match.
    This tip was told to me by a buddist monk.
     
  2. A couple of methods:

    *-Simple, dab them all over with aftershave (the cheaper, the better). The instant pain, whilst painful; does do away with the itching (albeit ever so briefly).

    *-Wait a couple of weeks for the fluff to grow back.

    *-Don't fucking shave them in the first place you fucking metrosexual you.

    Hope this helps.
     
  3. I think you might be getting mixed-up between immolation and emollient. But yes, you can get that desperate when the itch strikes.
     
  4. dont shave the fuckers. the lads at the public
    glory hole won't mind the pubes.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Fuck the itching, what about the cuts?
     
  6. In my defence, my experience is based, not on any homo-erotic situation, but rather on the need to de-fuzz at DKMH when getting the snip.
     
  7. Heaven help us from the world we've created ffs your bollocks are meant to be hairy unless you like looking like a 7yr old, you fucking nonce!
    I don't know youth of today mutter mutter.......
     
  8. I remember a few years back, i used my mates hair clippers quickly to shave my pubes off. I filmed it and put it on his facebook as a sketch,anyhoo. I had my trousers around my knees and thought nothing of it. That night i managed to pull some stinker. Of course i got back to hers and in a rush, ripped my kecks off and threw them past her. My pants had just acted as a net when i shaved myself earlier. It was like a red arrow display but intead of beautiful coloured smoke it was my dark black spick pubes leaving a arch like rainbow through the air.

    Her scream and face convultion still haunt me to this day.
     
  9. If you keep them shaved then they wont itch. Remember, it's not just pubic hair that rape detectives look for.
     
  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Birds tell me that shaving = itching, waxing = doesnt. If you do not wish Boots counter staff to giggle when you rock up and ask for a waxing kit, use black n nasty or a blowtorch.
     
  11. Saliva, there are plenty of "cures" in Brighton or may be Hampstead Heath London, you may even get george Michael to help the issue. Good luck.
     
  12. This situation stems from the ambiguous word "wax". To a woman, this means applying a molten material to hairs as a means of pulling them from their roots, typically around the bikini line (though, with the introduction of G-string bikinis, the area embaldened has increased beyond the original intent). Fashion has caused some men to follow the example by removing hair from the Speedo line, the really foolish ones removing all pubic hair. Obviously, blokes shouldn't use molten compounds in those areas because they have a low pain threshold - that's why blokes don't give birth. Instead, they've taken to shaving which, when you consider the risk of collateral damage, is a bloody stupid thing to do.

    It's not wrong to wax your pubes as a fashion statement, but you should be using the gentleman's interpretation of "wax". This involves applying a pomade to a group of hairs, allowing them to be shaped into a decorative feature. I can't find any images of waxed pubes, but here's some waxed moustaches that you can use as a guide:

    [​IMG]
    Salvador Dali

    [​IMG]
    Hercule Poirot

    Once you've got your pubes back, wax them in the manner that was intended - twist those that peep out beyond your Speedos into a Salvador Dali or a Hercule Poirot. The ladies love a man who spends some time on grooming.
     
  13. General Melchett

    General Melchett LE Moderator

    Try Lanacane cream, that will stop the itch. Just don't get any on your bellend.
     
  14. Not in the more modern sense of the word, they don't..........