Sharks? Sharks my arse.......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by filthyphil, Sep 28, 2011.

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  1. A SWIMMER who ignored a shark warning at a closed Cape Town beach lost his legs overnight when a great white attacked him, authorities said.
    The 42-year-old man entered the water at Fish Hoek Beach around 12:15 pm (8.15pm yesterday AEST), an hour and a half after shark spotters had seen the animal, raised a warning flag, sounded a siren and closed the beach, the city said in a statement.

    The man entered the water anyway, and before shark spotters could get him out, the great white attacked.

    His right leg was completely amputated and his left leg was bitten off below the knee, the National Sea Rescue Institute said. Although he has not been named, the institute said he was believed to be a British national living in South Africa.

    The man has been airlifted to hospital for treatment, the city said.

    "When the victim entered the water, the beach was still closed and the shark flag indicating the presence of a white shark was flying,'' the city said.

    Three nearby beaches have now been closed as the shark has still been seen swimming in the area, it added.

    The city's Shark Spotter programme monitors for sharks at nearby beaches to warn people when to leave the water. At least three sharks had been spotted during the morning.
  2. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    If he tries to claim on his insurance he will not have a leg to stand on....
    • Like Like x 5
  3. I hope the authorities don't go and kill the shark because of this fuckwit. The Emperor Mong must have been strong with him.

    EM " Those signs are just there as a precaution, go forth my subject and enjoy your leisure"

    Fcuckwit "Are you sure Emperor, after all i'm sure those signs are there for a reason?"

    EM "Nonsense! that flag is just for decoration. Get in there and put on that Seal costume you bought last year for that fancy dress party"

    Fcukwit "Okey Dokey your monginess..............aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhh me leg!"

    EM "mmmuuuuuuuuha ha ha ha!"
    • Like Like x 4
  4. And what's the betting the shark will be hunted down? It should be given a medal instead, for services to the genetic purity of the human race.

    It did bite his balls off as well, didn't it?
  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Any info on when his mountain bike is going up on eBay?
    • Like Like x 4
  6. I was after his slippers but the bloke in the next bed beat me to it.
  7. I worked on a nature programme about 5 years ago for the BBC. Amongst a number of animal related matters we investigated the claim that the incidence of shark attacks on the SA coast had increased as a result of rise in the number of cage diving ventures.

    The idea being that the operators throw chum in the water to attract the sharks, stick the tourist in the cage and then after while the Great White sharks (which breed in Mossel Bay) associate the bloke in the rubber suit with food..

    SA authorities were keen to disclaim this but when were shooting one sequence in waste deep water at Wilderness (near Neisner) the only female member of crew waded into the water and our local guide and expert immediately got out of the water... (she could have been on the blob d'ya see).

    We got a few shots of the coast where we had been filming from a cliff and looking down we could see the shapes of fairly big sharks in the water where we had been.

    The bloke's a frigging idiot to mess about with those brutes.
  8. When asked if he knew what the flags meant he replied: "I'm stumped".
    • Like Like x 3
  9. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Protected down there - sharks that is not expat swimmers...when I was at Uni in Capetown (aka Moscow on the hill) there was a big bugger called "The submarine" who used to lurk waiting to snaffle the odd surfer "Oh I'm terribly sorry - I thought you were a seal!! How awfully embarrassing!!" looks like these are some of his grandkids.
  10. GWS.jpg MMMMM Expat for brekkers today...........................
  11. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer

    Hop along, chum, there's a good fellow. No point in bleeding the jokes to death, they could fall over on you and you wouldn't be knee high to a grasshopper.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. It used its laser for that.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Fucking yarpie sharks showing off with lasers. Our sharks only have missiles.
  14. Dunno what all the fuss is about, it's not as though it snatched him out of his mother's arms or anything. 'That's not a shark attack, THIS is a shark attack'
  15. "If he tries to claim on his insurance he will not have a leg to stand on.... "
    Alsacien, Satan is already stoking up the fires in preparation for your arrival!