My current list: William Petersen, aka Gil Grissom of CSI Vegas. Old enough to be... well at least my older brother, and I still would. Rhys Iffffff-vans or whatever his bloody name is. He looks like the offspring of a village idiot and a bag of pipe cleaners, he's Welsh, he has horrendous teeth and for some reason, I'd still have a crack at him. Duncan Ballantyne - This one I do understand. He looks and sounds like a slightly older Mr Borgia, but has a considerably larger bank balance and probably a far lower propensity for rounding up the stray squaddies on his barracks on Saturday afternoons like some sort of paternally frustrated Collie and insisting I cook dinner for them while they block my hallway with boots, shout obscenities at the X-box/rugby/football/F1/women's beach volleyball, smoke all my cigarettes and stub them out in my plant-pots, decimate the contents of the beer fridge and drinks cabinet and..... Ahem. Ranting is such an unattractive habit, I do apologise. Anyway... Which S'lebbritty types out there you are ashamed to say you would be inclined to mount, given half a chance?