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Was shagging a bird the other night , and she said "dont put it up my arse!" I had to explain its tradional for the person holding the knife to make those decisions!
I tried my new chat up line in a bar in Barnstable, do you shag on the first night? she said no, but i will suck your dick!!!!!
Statistics say women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms for the sake of the the relationship. Men say "Big fucking deal, try faking a relationship just for the shag"

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